Moving On
by furbypksfurby
Summary: Jeremy enlisted in the Army. However, he got more than he bargained for, now he is forced to reexamine life, and the relationships that had before he left. Will Jeremy & his family have the strength to rebuild their lives?
1. Chapter 1

Moving On

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters to which I am writing about.

General Note: This is my first fan-fiction. Your reviews are appreciated and encouraged, but please be respectful and gentle.

PART 1

Denise Sherwood was standing in the nurses' station when she saw her husband Major Frank Sherwood came throw the corridor. The look on Frank's face was strange, as he was generally a very tough and disciplined man, which he had learned from the army, but there was something different in his face. Denise was startled when she looked up and saw Frank standing in front of her.

"Frank, it is nice to see you, but what are you doing here?" Denise asked curiously with a smile.

"Dee, this is not a social call, I just got word that Jeremy's unit that was stationed in Iraq was ambushed. And many of the soldiers were killed…" Frank was very matter of fact, his pause left Denise scared.

"What is it? Is Jeremy?" Denise had a hard time thinking clearly at this point.

"No, Jeremy is alive." At this point Frank's face turned from being disciplined soldier to a relieved father. His son was alive, but there was more.

Frank continued, "He is alive, but with a lot of injuries, I have not been briefed as to the extent of his injuries or when he is coming home."

By this point, Denise was in tears. She walked out from behind the nurses' station and into Frank's arms. Frank just stood there and held his wife. He did not know what more to say to his wife. Frank knew that he would be briefed further, but at this point his concern was for his wife's well-being.

Denise was a strong woman who had endured a life in the army; her earliest memories were of her father wearing combat boots, and fatigues. She knew what the causalities of war could be but she had always hoped that her family would not be causality, especially after the rash decision of Jeremy to enlist in the army. Jeremy had left the family's home after Frank had returned from Iraq, and had been told about Jeremy's violence against Denise. This enraged Frank, thus forcing Frank to disown his only son. Jeremy had no where to go after being dismissed from his parent's home on post, so he did what he thought was right: enlist in the army.

The sequence of events was running through Denise's head. Like any mother, she was thinking, how could I have allowed my son to enlist in the army? She pressed her face into Frank's uniform, and then looked up at Frank and said,

"What do we do now? Do we go to Iraq and get him?"

"No, we do not go to Iraq; we are going to have to wait for more information. I have a call into my contacts at the Pentagon, but nothing yet." Frank said with a reassuring smile.

"But I cannot just stand here and do nothing." Denise sniffled through her tears.

PART 2

Two days later Claudia Joy, Roland, Roxy, Pamela, and Denise were sitting in the Sherwood's living room talking about Jeremy's homecoming because in 2 days the Sherwood's had learned the condition of their son. He was arriving home at the end of the week with many serious injuries.

"According to Mike, the insurgence happened right outside of Bagdad." Claudia Joy relayed the information that her husband Colonel Mike Holden had been speaking about for the last few days.

"Yeah, that is what we were told as well. Jeremy has suffered included flash burns to the eyes, a bullet wound to his left knee, and a lot of internal bleeding. The doctors were not sure as to the damage that the flash burns to the eyes caused, because there as so much swelling. He could be blind, but best case scenario is that he will be visually impaired. And the knee was badly damaged; the bullet tore right through the ACL and the knee cap. According to the army he was lucky. " Denise was not sure as to how lucky Jeremy was going to be feeling. At this point, Denise's emotions were raw, and she was numb with fear and emotional pain for her son.

"Yeah, lucky… I would hate to see what the Army thought would be unlucky." Roxy said. Roxy was relatively new to this club of Army wives. She did not have the understanding nor was she able to articulate in a manner where it did not seem like she was disrespecting the Army.

"Roxy… these are very serious injuries. But they could have been a lot worse, or Jeremy could have ended up coming home in a body bag." Pamela said, shooting Roxy a very disapproving look.

"I am sorry; I was not trying to be difficult. It is just that I am trying to understand the Army." Roxy said in rebuttal.

"Roxy, it is ok, I have a spouse in this Army for almost twenty years. And I am mental health professional and I have yet to completely understand the Army." Roland stated with a smile, and small chuckle, which made the rest of the women's mood lighten a little.

"Denise, is there any thing that we can do, to help with Jeremy's homecoming? Have you talked to him?" Claudia Joy questioned.

"No we have not talked to Jeremy. We have, or at least Frank has spoken to the doctors. From what Frank has told me, is that they have been keeping Jeremy sedated to keep him from hurting himself further, and to reduce the amount of pain he is in. And his homecoming is more of a hospital coming, because they are going to move him to the hospital/rehab facility. I am just not sure how this is all going to work, because when Jeremy left the tension was very high, and Frank kicked him out and disowned him. Now he needs us, and I will definitely be there for him, and so will Frank, and I just not sure that Jeremy will let us in." Denise said with an exhausted sigh.

"Perhaps, we should ask the mental health person in the room… doc… any ideas?" Roxy said looking right at Roland.

"The only thing I can say is that you all are going to need time to heal. And when Jeremy is ready he will talk. But I would recommend that you do not push him to hard, as he may also be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and he will need to deal with his past, the present and the future in his own way. Of course he will need a good support center, and I am sure you and Frank will provide that. But he still needs time, as he has a lot of recovery to do." Roland trying to be reassuring.

"And he may experience some sort of depression, based on the fact that he has suffered injuries that are life changing, and he is going to have to figure all of this out. Again, it is only going to take time. However, Jeremy is a strong kid, and he will be ok." Roland continued.

"Thanks Roland, I think that I needed to hear that. Medically, I know that I can help him, but Frank and I just have not talked about what we are going to do when he comes home from the hospital." Denise stated with a sigh.

"Not that I want to throw my two-cents where it may not belong, but from the sounds of it, Jeremy will not becoming home any time soon from the hospital… I mean. Denise, you have even said that Jeremy has a long road ahead as far as recovery and rehab. And like Roland said it is only going to take time, and support for all of you." Roxy moved closer to Denise in a sign of support.

"No you are right, there is just so much to think about. There are so many unknowns and uncertainty right now. I am just not sure as to what Frank and I are going to do. Oh, Claudia Joy how is Amanda?"

"Well, Amanda did not take the news well; actually I think that you took the news better than she did." Claudia Joy answered.

"She wants to know what she can do, and I told her that only time will tell, and she needs to be patient with the situation and Jeremy when he gets back, as he has a long recovery." Claudia Joy continued.


	2. New Found Information

Chapter 2

Later that day Claudia Joy was standing in her kitchen when Mike walked in. In his hand was a bunch of flowers. Mike handed the flowers to Claudia Joy.

"To what do I deserve these beautiful flowers?" Claudia Joy asked happily.

"Nothing, it has been a very tough few months and I thought you might like a surprise." Mike continued

"Well, thank you, they are beautiful! How was your day?" Claudia Joy asked as she reached in the cabinet for a vase.

"My day was hectic. I saw Frank Sherwood today." Mike added

"Oh? I talked with Denise today. She seems to be holding up well under the circumstances. How is Frank?"

"Frank is a weathered soldier, and has been in the sand himself, and has seen a lot of soldiers get hurt and even killed… but it is different when it is your own son. He is conflicted with his actions before Jeremy left and how to help his son now. But of course, Frank would not come right and say that, but that is the sentiment that I got from him." Mike answered.

"Denise, told me that the injuries were serious, and that Jeremy suffered injuries to the eyes and his knee. Are the injuries worse than what Denise told me?"

"From what I know is that when the insurgence happened Jeremy there was an a gun fight and the bullet hit him in his knee. Then there was an explosion and he took a lot of it to the face, and especially to the eyes. But there is something I found out today when I was debriefed… Jeremy is a hero. "

"He is a hero? How? Not that I am surprised, but how?"

"After he was hit in the knee, he pulled 2 wounded soldiers out of the hum-ve, and then the explosion happened. However, I do not think that Frank and Denise know that, as the details of the mission are just being released."

"Wow, when that news gets out Jeremy will be treated with a hero's welcome."


	3. The Conversation

Chapter 3

PART 1

"Dr. Sullivan, I have just checked on Private Sherwood, and his temperature is slightly elevated." Stated the nurse.

"Thank you nurse, but lets wait it out, as the elevated temperature could be from the sedation. If the temperature is not stabilized in an hour or so then I will be concerned. The Private is lucky he is going to live." Dr. Sullivan stated.

Even though Jeremy was sedated there were moments where he was relatively coherent where he could hear what was being said. From what he knew one of the only sensations that he could feel was pain. The pain was resonating through what seemed was every part of his body. Jeremy lay in the hospital bed, and trying to take stock in what was going on, and what he was going to do, but before he could make and further assessments the sedation was taking hold, and he quickly drifted off to a painless slumber.

PART 2

Frank walked into Col. Holden's office, and saluted the Colonel. He was there because Col. Holden had sent for him. Frank did not know why, but he could only assume it was about Jeremy. Frank and Col. Holden (or rather Mike) had been friends for many years, but nevertheless military protocol was one of addressing a senior office by their official title, even if a friendship existed.

"Colonel Holden, Good Morning Sir." Frank saluted.

"Major Sherwood, Frank, at ease." Mike said trying to put Frank at ease.

"Sir, I received word that you sent for me." Frank stated.

"I did, please have a seat." Both men sat at two winged back chairs across from each other. At that point Lt. Colonel Burton walked in to the office, and both men stood up.

"Sir, oh I am sorry I did not realize that you had company." Said Lt. Colonel Burton

"Lt. Colonel Burton, it is not a problem but could you please give Major Sherwood and me a few minutes? Also, you remember Major Sherwood?" Mike questioned in his military ease.

"Yes, Major Sherwood and I have met. Major, I am sorry to hear about your son. And Colonel please advise when you are ready." Lt. Colonel Burton said.

"Thank you" Both men said as the Lt. Colonel walked out of the office. Mike and Frank sat back down and started the conversation again.

"Frank, I did send for you. The reason is that I have received word as to what actually happened to Jeremy and his unit. And I wanted to be the one to tell you, if you have yet to hear." Mike said quietly.

"Colonel, all that I have heard is that there was a rush of insurgence and Jeremy and the unit were caught in the cross hairs, and three in his unit were killed and five including Jeremy were severely injured. Why is there more?" Frank asked inquisitively.

"Actually, Frank there is… are you aware that your injured son pulled two soldiers out of the hum-ve before it exploded, and that is how Jeremy got so much to the eyes?"

"No I had not heard that… you mean to tell me that my son is a hero?"

"Yes, and he has been put in for a medal." Frank sat there in awe.

"Also, on a personal note, Claudia Joy and I want to know if there is anything you or Denise need when Jeremy gets back to the post?" Mike was trying not to be Col. Holden at the moment, as again these two men had seen a lot together.

"Thank you. Right now I do not know what you or your wife could do for us, as we do not know what Jeremy is going to need." Frank was really not sure what his family was going to need.

"Please let me know if you or your family needs anything. If you need or want to take some leave time please let me know."

"Thank you. But right now we just want to get Jeremy home." With that said Frank got up and saluted the senior officer and left.


	4. The HomeComing

Chapter 4

PART 1

The days went by and finally the day came when Jeremy was going to be coming back to the states to start his recovery. Denise and Frank got up early that morning in anticipation. Denise made breakfast for the both of them. The two of them just sat at the kitchen table picking at their eggs, and sipping coffee. They were both feeling the same things: happiness that their son was home and alive, and a great sadness for the amount of pain and the long recovery that Jeremy had ahead. Finally Denise broke the silence.

"What time is the plane coming in? " Denise knew the answer to the question but she could not stand the silence any longer.

"1100 hours." Frank said not looking up from his coffee.

"He is then going straight to the hospital, right?" Denise continued to probe already knowing the answers.

"Yes, that is the plan. Then we will also go to the hospital and talk with the doctors, and hopefully talk to Jeremy."

"Frank, I have been thinking that I should quit my job at the hospital, to take care of Jeremy here at home."

"Dee, I do not think that you need to quit your job, you love being a nurse! And besides, we both know that Jeremy is going to be in the hospital and rehab for a very long time. Do not quit. And besides you can keep an eye on him while you are at the hospital."

"I guess you are right. It is just I feel so helpless right now."

PART 2

Denise and Frank arrived at the air strip around 1030 hours, and to their surprise everyone was there waiting for Jeremy. Roxy, Trevor, Pamela, Mike, Claudia Joy, Amanda, and Roland were all there.

"You all did not need to be here. They are just going to unload Jeremy and take him directly to the hospital." Denise said.

"We know, but we still wanted to be here to support you both." Roxy spoke the same sentiment that everyone else was thinking.

They all stood in silence staring at the tarmac. Then finally the moment came when they saw the plane land. After the plane landed the cargo hatch opened, and out came a number of stretchers with wounded soldiers on them. Finally a medic came up to the group and asked where the Major and Mrs. Sherwood were, because their son was asking for them. This made Denise feel a sense of relief that her son was asking for them. Frank and Denise were escorted to Jeremy's stretcher, and the medic announced Frank's and Denise's presence.

"Mom, is that you? Dad? I am sorry I got hurt." Jeremy's voice was almost a whisper, but still audible nonetheless.

"Jeremy, we are here. Why are you sorry?" Denise's voice cracked with emotion. Before Jeremy could answer the question, the medics took him to an ambulance to transport him to the hospital.


	5. The Reunion

CHAPTER 5

Frank and Denise arrived at the hospital after Jeremy. They wanted to give the hospital staff some time to get Jeremy settled before they arrived. Frank and Denise were relieved to have Jeremy home no matter what state he was in. Denise knew the corridors of the hospital very well, but today walking down the corridors was different. It was not a matter of a nurse taking care of each patient, it was a mother looking and seeing her son struggle. She had worked with many families that were in a similar situation, but it still did not make it any easier. When they reached Jeremy's room the doctor was waiting for them.

"Denise, this must be your husband Frank?" Questioned Dr. Steinbach.

"Good Morning Dr. Steinbach. Yes, this is my husband Frank." The two men shook hands.

"I want to let you know that your son is in good hands. Right now, he is resting comfortably. It was a long trip home for him, and he needs his rest. We have changed the bandages on his eyes, because I wanted to see first hand the extent of the damage." The doctor stopped, waiting for a reaction from one of the Sherwoods.

The doctor continued, "From what I saw his eyes did not give any response to light. This concerns me a bit, but like a lot of injuries only time will tell. As far as his knee, again there has been a lot of internal damage, but the surgeons have already repaired much of the damage, it only going to take time to heal, but I will let Dr. Bartley, the orthopedic specialists go into more details."

"Doctor, will my son be blind?" Frank said rather bluntly.

"Right now, I do not want to speculate as to your son's capabilities. I will say, medically speaking the probability of Jeremy regaining his full vision is slim. However, we will do everything that we can to help Jeremy. We have assembled a team of orthopedic specialists, physical/occupational therapists, Othomologists, Neurologists, and mental health professionals to help your son. My specialty is Othomology/Neurology with an emphasis in visual trauma." Dr. Steinbach was trying to be reassuring, but it was not working for the Sherwoods. They completely understood the gravity of the situation, and they understood that Jeremy was not going to be the same again. And neither would they.

"Doctor, may we go in, and see Jeremy?" Denise asked.

"Yes, but he is asleep. And Denise…" The doctor paused for a moment

"I will do everything I can to help your son."

"We know you will. Thank you." Denise replied.

Frank and Denise walked into the sterile hospital room, it was a private room. Colonel Holden had arranged at least initially for Jeremy to have a private room. As they walked in there was a large window in front of them. The sun was shining in to the room making it a bit warm, but comfortable nonetheless. There were two hospital recliners near the window. And there was Jeremy laying in the hospital bed. He was hooked up to a number of IV's.

Denise stepped closer and looked at her son. He lay almost motionless, flat on his back. There were bandages covering his eyes, and she could see some discoloration in his face. His left leg was in a large knee immobilizer. She watched for a few minutes and then gasped for air, and Frank stood there in shock and dismay… all he could think about was how he could have let his son enlist, and he thought about how this situation could have been different if he would have acted differently when he came home.

Then they heard a small voice, it was Jeremy's. "Is there someone there?"

"Yes, Jeremy it is your Dad and I." Denise was surprised to hear Jeremy's voice, as she thought that he was sleeping.

"I thought that you might be a nurse." Jeremy continued quietly.

"Why do you need something?" Frank asked.

"No, I just knew someone was here I just did not know who it was." Jeremy reached up and touched the bandages on his eyes, making him further realize that this was not a dream.

Denise walked over to the bed and touched Jeremy's hand and kissed him on the forehead. Jeremy in return squeezed his mother's hand. Frank stood watching the scene, and for the first time in his life felt helpless.

Denise quietly whispered, "I am glad you are home, and we will get through this."

Jeremy quietly replied, "I know. I am sorry, Mom, for everything."

"Shh. Why don't you get some rest? Your Dad and I are going to get some coffee. Just get some rest and we will be back soon. I love you." Denise stated.

"I love you too, Mom."

After that Frank and Denise walked out of the room to allow Jeremy the needed rest. Frank took Denise's hand and walked down the hallway in silence. They both knew what each other was thinking.


	6. The Reality

Chapter 6

AN: I know that there have been a lot of hits on this story. But could someone please review it, and give some suggestions? Thank you for your consideration.

The days seemed to fly by. Jeremy had been home almost a week now, and his progress was slow, but some marked improvements have been made. Jeremy was at least beginning some physical therapy for his knee, but he did not have the stamina for much. The doctors were still cautious about removing the bandages around his eyes, as they were hoping that the longer they waited less swelling would be there. Frank and Denise took turns at staying with Jeremy. Of course, friends would stop by, and Amanda stopped by to visit with Jeremy at least daily. Unfortunately, with all this attention was not helping Jeremy's disposition. He was depressed and scared, and everyone knew it, but they were all trying very hard to help, and Jeremy knew it, but it still did not help much.

In Jeremy's mind, he was a nineteen year old war veteran that was now blind, and would always walk with a limp. The limp really did not bother him much, it was the blindness. He never knew where he was, and someone almost always had to lead him around. He did not see a lot of hope of that changing any time soon either. He often felt the same kind of anger and hostility bubble up inside of him that used to cause the violence he used to display against his mother. He knew now that he had to control that anger, and use that energy for something else.

Finally the day came that everyone was waiting for… the day that the bandages came off. Frank and Denise came into the room about 0900 hours and the doctor was waiting for them.

"Good morning, Frank and Denise. Jeremy and I were just talking about you. But enough about that lets get these bandages off. Jeremy, I am going to cut the bandages off, and I would like you to shield your eyes with your hands, as the eyes may have some light sensitivity." The doctor was being very optimistic about Jeremy's vision. He had seen many of these cases, and quite often the reality of the situation outweighed any and all optimism.

The doctor carefully cut the white gauze bandage away from Jeremy's head, which revealed two rather thick pads which were taped to Jeremy's forehead.

"Jeremy, I am going to try and take it easy on getting this tape off."

"Doctor, with as much pain as I have been in for the last month, you tearing the bandages off is not going to be that big of deal. So please lets get this over with." Jeremy said matter of factly.

"Ok, Jeremy if that is what you want." So that is what the doctor did, he ripped the tape off, which still left the gauge pads on.

"Ouch, that really did hurt, but let's keep going." Frank and Denise just stood near the bed and watched.

"Jeremy, I am going to need for you to keep your eyes shut after I take the pads off, ok?"

"Yeah, ok." The agitation in Jeremy's voice was very evident. The doctor slowly removed the pads, and then reached for the small basin of warm water with a towel to clean the skin around the eyes. After the doctor was done he said,

"Jeremy, cover your eyes and slowly open them and then move your hands away." The moment was agony for Jeremy's parents. Jeremy slowly removed his hands and opened his eyes.

"Jeremy, son, what do you see?" Frank asked quickly.

At this point in time, Jeremy's anger and hostility was high. And he did not care what was about to come out of his mouth, "What do you think I see? I see nothing but darkness, it is black. I see nothing. NOTHING AT ALL. I cannot see, I am 'f'ing blind!'" At this point, the doctor tried to examine Jeremy's eyes with the small flash light in his hand. The look on the doctor's face was of disappointment.

"Jeremy, I am very sorry, I see absolutely no reaction to light in either eye. I am confirming your reaction, you are blind. Honestly I am not sure that it is temporary or permanent." The doctor confirmed.

"Dr. Steinbach is there nothing that more than can be done? There has got to be a surgery, or other treatments we can try." Frank questioned rather solemnly.

"Look the only thing we can do right now is wait and see. And Jeremy will need to learn how to cope with this. Jeremy, I will be sending in someone from the psych department for you to talk to."

"I do not need to talk to anyone, I just need to be left alone. So could you all just get out? Mom, please stay. Dad and Dr. Steinbach just get out, now!" Jeremy was very upset, and the only person he wanted around was his mother

"Jeremy, please we all want to help." Denise stated, and wanting to reassure him that he had the support.

Jeremy reiterated loudly, "EVERYONE BUT MOM GET OUT OF HERE." Frank and Dr. Steinbach walked out into the hallway, and shut the door behind them.

After a brief pause, Denise, walked over to Jeremy and touched his arm. She did not need to say anything, she sat on the side of the bed and hugged her son. Jeremy finally broke the silence.

"Mom, I am so sorry for everything that I have put you through. I am sorry that I enlisted. I am sorry that I got hurt. And I am sorry that I did not make you proud of me." Jeremy tears started to run down his face.

Denise replied, "I am proud of you. You are my son, no matter what you do, or did nothing changes the fact that you are my son. I have forgiven you along time ago. And please know that I and your father will be here to support you, and will help you in what ever way we can. I promise you that."

Jeremy and Denise just sat together on the bed for awhile. Denise just held her son, she knew that Jeremy was going to be ok, but it was going to be a long hard road. But they would travel the road as a family.


	7. The Attitude

Chapter 7—The Attitude

A/N: Again, I know that people are reading this story. Please tell me what you think.

About twenty minutes after Frank and Dr. Steinbach were remanded to the hallway; Denise immerged from Jeremy's room. Both men looked concerned, and they both wanted to know what happened after they left. In the furthest corner of Frank's mind he wondered if Jeremy had hurt Denise in any way, but by the looks of it, Denise had weathered an emotional moment. Frank opened his arms and held on to Denise, and tried to be as strong as she was for Jeremy, for her. Finally Dr. Steinbach suggested that the three of them go to his office to discuss Jeremy's treatment.

Walking into the doctor's office was an experience in elegance. The desk was large and the wood was a beautifully polished cherry. The chairs were all black leather. The doctor sat behind the desk, and Frank and Denise sat in front of the desk. The doctor opened the file on his desk, and starting to page through it; it was assumed that the file was Jeremy's. Finally the doctor spoke,

"This is going to be a difficult transition for Jeremy. And my suggestion is to take the proverbial multi-prone attack. Pardon the military pun. But I have seen many injuries like this, some end up regaining much of their sight, but most do not. Frankly, the fact that Jeremy has absolutely no response to light leads me to the conclusion that his blindness is permanent." The doctor was fairly adamant about the prognosis.

"You mean to tell us that you just left our son's room and you gave him the hope, no matter how slight that he could see again. Yet, we come into your office and there is almost no hope, how did this change so much in twenty minutes?" Frank was irritated with the doctor's change of course.

"Look, I have found in situations like this, it is better to give some hope than none at all. Your son is young, and resilient, but he needs something to work towards." This comment was getting Frank very hot.

"I realize that I am not a doctor, and I mean no disrespect, that is a load of crap. I have been an officer in the Army for almost twenty years, and I have lead soldiers the same age as Jeremy and I have never given false hope just because I could. My wife and I have raised our son to be realistic and direct. Your false hope is not realistic, in fact as I see it; it is counterproductive. In my mind all is does is bring disappointment when the desired outcome cannot be reached." Frank detested Dr. Steinbach's attitude.

"I agree that you are not a doctor. And from what I can see and hear we are not going to come to an agreement on this." Dr. Steinbach was frustrated with Frank's argument.

Frank started to spout something else, until Denis interjected,

"Gentlemen we are not here to discuss coping philosophies, we are here to discuss treatment options for Jeremy. Frankly I agree with the multi-prone approach. However, what I do not agree with is that we are talking about this without Jeremy. Jeremy is an adult, who will have to make some very tough choices for himself. We need to remember he is nineteen years old; he was injured during war times, in a foreign country. And he has probably seen more than most of us in this room, so it is very wrong for us to make these kinds of decisions about his life without him." Frank and Dr. Steinbach just looked at Denise. Denise was actually annoyed with both of them.

Denise continued, "Now lets get on to discussing the options so that we can talk with Jeremy about them, and support his decision."

Frank was always amazed at how soft spoken Denise could always put people in their place. She was quiet and reserved but there a strong sense of what was right. The doctor looked at Frank and Denise and resigned to make the needed recommendations.

"Here is what I recommend: Jeremy needs physical therapy for the knee, occupational therapy to learn how to cope without sight, and I would suggest some psychotherapy for both helping him to cope, and help with his apparent anger. I could recommend a good therapist if that is what Jeremy and you decide." The doctor was making sense to Frank and Denise.

"That sounds like a very practical approach to Jeremy's care. I am just not sure that he would go for the psycho therapy." Frank sighed.

"I have found in patients like Jeremy, which if someone in the family supports the psycho therapy and is willing and able to partake in the therapy as well the idea actually goes well." The doctor replied.

"Ok, who is going to present this to Jeremy?" Dr. Steinbach asked.

"I will." Denise suggested.

"No, I will, I think it should come from me." Denise was surprised that Frank wanted to do this, but was happy that Frank was planning to be active in this process.

Frank and Denise left the office, and walked back to Jeremy's room.

"I want to talk to Jeremy, man to man. Do you mind?" Frank asked Denise.

"No I think it would be good for both of you." Denise smiled.

They reached the room. And Frank gently knocked on the door as he walked into the room.

"Who is there? " Jeremy asked.

"It is me, your Dad." Frank frowned. He could not image what Jeremy was going through at this moment, never knowing who was around, and being total darkness.

"Oh, hi. Look I am sorry I kicked you out before, I was just… um…" Jeremy was relatively quiet.

"Son, you do not need to apologize. What do you say if we went to the cafeteria and grabbed a soda? You have been cooped up in this room for few days, and we can talk." Frank was reaching for something, anything, to get Jeremy to open up to him.

"Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Is Mom going to come?" Jeremy had a strange tone in his voice, but at least he was trying.

"No, I think that it is going to be you and me. Do you want me to get a wheelchair, or do you want to try the crutches?" Frank was imaging how Jeremy was going to maneuver on crutches and not being able to see where he was going, but he needed to let Jeremy make the choice.

"I am kind of tired of sitting, lets try the crutches. No on second thought, the chair." Jeremy was reluctant in deciding the chair was the mode of transportation. He knew that he was not ready to walk with crutches and be blind. Frank left and brought in a wheelchair. Helped Jeremy get comfortable, and off they went to the cafeteria.


	8. The Uncertainty

Chapter 8

Frank pushed Jeremy to the cafeteria, and found a table in the back. He then parked Jeremy at the table and went and got sodas from the cafeteria line. He set the cup in front of Jeremy, and then grabbed his hand and put the cup in it. He had learned this technique from an old Army buddy that had lost his sight because of methyl alcohol. He had learned a lot of things from his buddy, on how to help and when not to.

Jeremy and Frank sat at the table in silence for several minutes until Frank broke the silence,

"You are going to get a lot of questioned asked of you about Iraq and the war. You do not have to answer them, or you can come up with something, but just know that people will be very curious. I also want you to know that if you ever want to talk about your experience over there in the sand, I will be here to talk. Believe me; I have seen things that no human should ever have to endure. I am pretty confident that you have similar experiences." Jeremy was a little surprised by his father's openness, as he had rarely ever spoken of his Army or combat experience.

"Dad, how do you get the pictures out of your head? I mean of the death and destruction, and how do you get rid of the feeling being so hated?" Frank was surprised as to how easy that Jeremy was willing to talk.

"It is very hard to get the pictures out of your head. The only thing that I have ever found that remotely helped is to think of someone or something that makes you happy and during those really low times allow your mind to escape to those things. In my case, I always think of your mother. I know that I have had many more experiences than you have, but that almost always helps." Frank had never told anyone that before.

Frank continued, "I can only imagine what a difficult day that this has been for you, but your mother and I want you to know that we will support you in what ever you decide to do."

"I had a feeling before the doctor took off the bandages that I would be blind. I cannot explain it; I was hoping and praying that I was wrong." Jeremy admitted.

Jeremy and Frank just sat there drinking the sodas, when out of the corner of his eye he saw Colonel Holden. Colonel Holden was in civilian clothes and as soon as he saw Frank and Jeremy sitting at the table he came over to them. Colonel Holden put out his hand to shake Frank's,

"Good Afternoon, gentlemen." He put his hand out to shake Jeremy's, but of course Jeremy did not know that it was there. Frank and Michael exchanged the same look, the look of acknowledgement for Jeremy's new disability.

"Good Afternoon to you sir." Jeremy and Frank exchanged the platitudes.

"Jeremy, how is your knee doing?" Colonel Holden was trying to start a conversation that did not revolve around Jeremy's sight, or rather lack of sight.

"Its getting better I think, but the doctor tells me it is going to take some time." Jeremy responded without emotion.

"Jeremy, I do not want to do this, but can I borrow your father for a moment?" Colonel Holden asked, wanting to talk to Frank about Jeremy's condition.

With that Frank got up from the table and said, "Jeremy I will be right back."

"Do not worry I won't go anywhere." Jeremy said coldly.

Frank and Michael walked out of ear shot of Jeremy. Frank knew that Michael wanted an update on Jeremy's condition.

"I see they took the bandages off of Jeremy's eyes. How much vision does Jeremy have?" Michael started the conversation.

"Jeremy says he sees nothing but pure darkness. And the doctor does not believe that this is temporary." Frank replied. Michael could see the strain on Frank's face, as this was the first time that Frank truly felt the gravity in his words.

"Frank I am so sorry. How is he taking it?" Michael was clearly concerned.

"I am not sure, when he first realized it, he was angry. He kicked the doctor and me out of the room. Denise stayed at his request, and now he has calmed down some. I thought that I would try to talk with, and try to do something… I am at a loss of what to do." Frank was truly at a loss.

"The reason that I came down here was because Amanda informed us this morning at breakfast that the bandages were coming off today. I wanted to see how Jeremy, Denise and you were doing, and offer my support in what ever way."

"Thank you, I am do not know what to do, or have you do. There are a lot choices and decisions to be made, but Denise and I have an agreement that Jeremy will need to make them as the time comes, and we will have to support those choices."

"Thank you for the update. Lets get back to Jeremy." Both men walked back to the table where Jeremy was sitting in the wheelchair. Michael and Frank sat across the table from Jeremy.

"Jeremy would you like a refill, because I would." Frank offered.

"Yeah, I mean yes." Frank took the cups and went got the refills.

"Jeremy…" Michael started.

"Sir…" Jeremy said straightening up his posture.

"You do not need to be so formal in when it is just you and me talking ok?" Michael was attempting to try to take the edge off of this awkward situation.

"Thank you sir." Jeremy replied still feeling the awkwardness.

"So I never did officially welcome you home." Jeremy wondered if this was how all the conversations were going to go from now on.

"Sir, I know that before I left, you did not want me to see Amanda, because you were afraid that I was going to hurt her. I am sorry, but I can tell you that I have changed, in more ways." Jeremy was trying to make amends for his ways in the past.

"Son, I know. If you need anything please let me know." By this point, Frank was back with the drinks.

"Michael, I bought you a diet coke, I did not want the new post commander to gain any weight, now that you are behind the desk." Frank was trying to lighten the mood at the table.

"Very funny, and yes thank you, the diet coke is appreciated."

"I did hear that you were the new post commander, congratulation, sir." Jeremy offered. And then he brushed his hand on the table, and completely knocked over the full glass of soda. The liquid ran all over. Frank and Michael jumped up and grabbed napkins to soak up the liquid. Jeremy felt so helpless, he had no clue where the napkins were… He could not see where they were.

"I am sorry, if someone could hand me some napkins I will help clean up." Jeremy was frustrated that he had accidentally knocked over the glass.

"Don't worry about it… its cleaned up. Do you want a refill?" Frank offered.

"No, thank you."

Frank and Michael continued the banter, and they did try to include Jeremy, but they realized that his mood had changed and it was time for Jeremy to go back to his room.

After they got back to the room Frank helped Jeremy to get back into bed, and said, "Jeremy is there anything you need from home?"

"No, I think I am ok. Would you mind leaving? I am kind of tired." Jeremy said with a yawn.

"Ok, you get some rest, and your mother and I will be back later. How about we pick up a pizza for dinner instead of the hospital food? And we can have dinner as a family." Frank offered.

"Yeah, whatever you and mom is fine." Jeremy said with sadness. He laid back in the bed and closed his eyes, and his last thought before drifting off to sleep was… it does not matter whether I close my eyes or open them…. It is the same thing: Darkness.


	9. The Discussion

Chapter 9—

A/N: Thank you for the review, as it was appreciated. But again any and all reviews are appreciated.

When Frank got home Denise was waiting for him. Frank walked through the door, and he looked overwhelmed and exhausted.

"Hi, honey." Denise said quietly, as she was feeling the same emotions.

"Hi, how do you feel about pizza tonight with Jeremy at the hospital?" Frank asked without looking at Denise.

"I like that idea."

"Good, I told Jeremy that we would bring pizza." Frank said walking out of the room to his office. He sat down at his desk and put his face in his hands. This feeling of helplessness was a new experience for him. He felt somewhat responsible for Jeremy's injuries. Had Frank not gotten so mad and threw Jeremy out of the house and disowned him; Jeremy would not have found the recruiting office, and he would not be blind, he would have been safe at either West Point or away at college studying to be an architect. Frank felt like a failure as a father, and he came close to admitting that to Jeremy so many months ago on the training course at Fort Benning. That day on the training course, he had told Jeremy that he had not taught him everything man should learn from his father and that was because he was not there for Jeremy. And had Frank been a better father, Jeremy would be safe and not going through this hell, or so Frank thought.

Frank looked up and saw Denise standing in the doorway of the office, just watching Frank. Frank was able to put a small smile on his face before he said,

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to tell you that none of this is your fault." It was not that Denise could read minds; it was just the fact that she had been married to Frank for almost twenty-five years. The fact that in those twenty-five years Frank had been gone a lot of the time, made what little time together more special, and they connected more.

"How did you know that was what I was thinking?" Denise just shook her head, and walked over to the desk and sat on top of the desk and leaned toward Frank, and finally said,

"It's partially because I blame myself, and also I sometimes know how you think. Look it has been a very difficult day and it is only 4 o'clock. Why don't you come upstairs with me and help me get some of Jeremy's things together, to take back to the hospital?" Denise answered, because she too blamed herself for letting Jeremy enlist, she should have insisted that he come home. They were both being irrational, because they both hated seeing Jeremy struggle.

"Why is this your fault?" Frank frowned.

"Same reason that it is yours, we both let Jeremy enlist." Denise replied very bluntly.

"And the only way I know how to make it better is try and support Jeremy in whatever way we can. I agree Jeremy should never have laid a hand on me, but neither one of us handled it very well. You have to admit that." This was one of the many reasons that Frank loved Denise; she was always sensible and wise.

"Yeah, neither one of handled it very well… and our son has to suffer the consequences. I hated seeing him fumbling around at the table at the cafeteria today. He could not find is soda cup and he knocked it over and spilled it all over the table and Michael. I know that he did not mean to do it, but it was such a simple thing. Also when I went into the hospital room I asked him if he wanted to use the crutches or the wheelchair. He originally said the crutches and immediately changed his mind, and I think it was because he was not sure if he could maneuver with them, and not being able see. I am not so worried about his knee, as I am worried about him coping." Frank was not the type of man to generally be so verbal about his feelings, but he knew that Denise would understand.

"Do you remember when Jeremy was a baby, and he was learning how to walk? I was so afraid that he would fall and hurt himself? Do you remember what you told me then?" This was the only metaphor Denise could come up with.

"No I really do not recall as to what I said." Frank was curious as to the advice he gave all those years ago.

"To paraphrase what you said: The boy has to learn, and he is going to have a lot of bumps and bruises that you are not going to like, but that is the only way he was going to grow. And as much as we hate seeing him struggle, he is going to have to endure the struggle, the only thing we can do is provide some padding so the bumps and bruises do not hurt as much." Denise was getting very tired, and had a hard time being the optimistic one, as Jeremy was her only child.

"I never realized how insightful I am." Frank smiles and laughed a little.

"Yeah, you were insightful then, now you are just Army." Denise every so often gave a little jab to the Army as Frank was a talented and respected officer, but sometimes took it to the extreme.

They both started to laugh, and they then headed upstairs to pack some of Jeremy's things. Denise headed straight to the closet, and started throwing t-shirts, workout pants, shorts on the bed. And Frank just stood there.

Denise again shaking and smiling her head said, "What are you going to just stand there? What are you doing… supervising?"

Frank replied, "I just do not know what to pack."

"Frank, give me a break, how many times have you packed for yourself." Denise asked in dismay. It always bewildered her that Frank could lead troops into battle, but some of the simplest things could escape him.

"This is different; I usually have a dozen t-shirts, and a dozen pair of camouflage pants, socks and underwear. I do not know what Jeremy is going to need. And does he not have a lot of this stuff already at the hospital?" Frank did know what to pack but he liked to be difficult to his wife.

"Yes, Jeremy has some clothes, but not enough to fully start the rehab process, and when I came home earlier I brought some of his dirty laundry home with me. So my point is that needs some comfortable clothes. And perhaps some stuff to help him feel at home, or at least to make the hospital a little more comfortable. I am going to bring him some t-shirts, and workout pants, and of course socks and underwear, that kind of stuff." Denise said with authority.

Frank helped Denise pack some of the clothes that Jeremy needed. It was just a challenge trying to pick out a few items from his room to take to the hospital. First, Jeremy had not been in the room in months, and he had changed in so many ways it was like the room was his childhood, and the minute that he left his adulthood began. And really it did, the day that Frank told Jeremy to leave was in essence the end of his childhood. He made the decision to enlist in the Army, and the rest is his adult life. Unfortunately, being an adult, for Jeremy at the moment left a lot to be desired.

Denise and Frank loaded the car, and Frank called Savitinos, a pizza place and ordered a family size pizza with everything on it including but onions and green peppers and a family size salad (Of course, the salad was more to appease Denise.) Denise usually called this pizza the heart attack on a crust, but she also knew that it was Jeremy, and for that matter Frank's favorite… they call it the manly pizza.

The packing escapade had done Denise and Frank some good, as they were bantering back and forth as they picked up the pizza and heading to the hospital. They had both come to the conclusion that they had to present a positive attitude, and try to encourage rather than discourage Jeremy.

As they walked into the hospital toward Jeremy's room, there was an uneasy calmness in the corridors. Denise calmness was just before the storm.


	10. The Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 10—

_… As they walked into the hospital toward Jeremy's room, there was an uneasy calmness in the corridors. __To __ Denise__ calmness was just before the storm.__ Denise did not know how, but something was about to happen, maybe not something right at the moment but something soon._

Denise and Frank walked into the hospital room and saw an empty bed, and Jeremy was no where to be seen. A colleague of Denise's was standing there. Carol, was the colleague, was writing something in Jeremy's chart, when she looked up. Carol smiled,

"Hi Denise."

"Hi Carol, I did not realize that you were on tonight. Where's Jeremy?" Carol was fantastic nurse, who specialized in rehabilitation, and was working on becoming a physical therapist.

"Relax, Steve from PT came and got him. Jeremy was on the PT schedule today for the knee. I hate to say this but Jeremy did not want to go to PT, and in fact he kind of fought with Steve. But you know Steve; he usually gets his way with the patients. And frankly, I could not blame Jeremy for not wanting to go, because it has been such a trying day, but as you know the sooner the PT starts the better off the patient is for getting the mobility. Oh, and Jeremy should be back at any time." Carol spouted all of that off very quickly. She may a fantastic and caring nurse but she certainly was a motor mouth.

"Oh where are my manners, Hi, I am Carol. I am not the night nurse assigned to your son this evening." She looked at Frank, and smiled.

Frank shifted the pizza box to his left hand and reached his right out to shake Carol's hand, and said, "It is nice to meet you."

By that time, Jeremy came walking in the room on crutches with Steve, physical therapist behind him. And Carol slipped out as the two were coming in. Jeremy did not look very happy, and frankly neither did Steve.

"Hi, Jeremy, how was PT?" Denise asked. And Steve just shook his head, and frowned.

"It sucked. I cannot see what I am doing and it hurts." Jeremy's frustration level was extremely high, and he was agitated. "And he does not understand how much it hurts." Said pointing at the wall, but everyone knew he was talking about Steve.

"Jeremy, I do know how much it hurts, I tore my ACL about 5 years ago, and when I was running a marathon I tripped and tore my ACL, and cracked my knee cap. It was very painful recovery, but the sooner we start the better mobility that you will have later." Steve was trying to be reassuring, but he knew that Jeremy was going to be a very difficult patient.

Jeremy response was something that Steve was expecting, "Why do I care about how much mobility I have with my knee. I cannot freaking see anything, so why not just leave me in a chair and rot, because that is all that I am going to good for."

"Jeremy, that's uncalled for." Frank snapped.

"Dad, I have failed as a son, as a soldier, why not fail as a person. Hell, nothing matters; maybe I should have just been left in Iraq." Jeremy was standing in the middle of the room trying to figure out where to go, hell he could not see anything. He tried to spin around, but he ended up falling flat on his butt on the floor. Steve and Denise rushed over to Jeremy to help him get up, but Jeremy refused the assistance. Finally with a lot of effort Jeremy got up, and Frank quietly pushed a chair for Jeremy to sit down.

"Jeremy, this is all going to take time to get used to, and it is going to take time for your knee to heal." Steve tried again to be reassuring.

"I wish people would stop saying that. Look Steve, I am sorry, this nothing personal on you, I just hate this. I hate trying to walk on the crutches and have no freaking idea where I am going." Surprisingly the fall had mellowed Jeremy's attitude a bit, but just a bit.

"Jeremy, I will be back tomorrow. We can try all of this again." Steve said walking out the door. Denise followed him out.

"Steve, wait a minute." Denise said.

"Denise, I know that he is in a difficult place right now! And I know that this will get better, but it is going to take effort on all of our parts, including Jeremy. He has to want to re-gain control of his life. Yeah, I know that this has been a difficult day for him, he is going to have to let people help him, and he is going to have to give it time." Steve said looking tired and frustrated.

"Jeremy, is a good kid, and yes today has been a difficult day for him. Finding out that he will probably never regain his sight is not something that anyone wants to hear, especially at nineteen years old. I am not saying to cut him slack, in fact, I ask you to be hard on him." Denise said, in her I am the nurse mode.

Steve smiled a little, "I think that you must be the first mother of an injured soldier who has told me to not to cut their child any slack. Denise, you are an interesting woman."

"Thank you, I think. But I want my son to be a capable individual, even with his limitations, and he will never get there if we coddle him. So please do not give up on him. "

"My plan was not to give up on him; we are too early in this process to give up on him, but he has got to want to help himself. It is just there is so much potential in your son, even with his limitations. I know how angry he is right now, but it just frustrates me as physical therapist to have to fight for everything I need to do to help him to regain mobility and independence." Denise completely understood the sentiment that Steve was relaying, and that is one of the many reasons why she had asked Steve what she did.

"Denise, I would like to talk to you more about this, but I am meeting my girlfriend for dinner, perhaps we can finish this tomorrow? And thanks, I think I needed the pep talk as much as he will. I will see you later." Steve said walking away.

Denise walked back into the room, where Jeremy was sitting on the bed and Frank was standing next to him, and the pizza box was opened. But the boys were not eating; it looked like they were in the middle of a very intense discussion, which was ceased when Denise walked in. Denise replied,

"Do not stop talking on my account."

"No Jeremy and I were having a discussion about attitude." Frank said in his stern military voice.

"And how is that going?" Denise's eye brow raised.

Neither of guys answered. Jeremy seemed a little calmer, but the underline hostility was still evident, but for the moment the hostility was being managed. Finally Frank answered the question,

"Jeremy and I are going to work on it, but that is between him and me."

"Ok then, if you two do not want to tell me more, fine, but I would suggest that we eat. Please hand me that salad." Denise curious as to the scheme that Frank had come up with to help Jeremy with his attitude. Frank just smiled at Denise.

They all finished dinner, and Jeremy announced that he was very tired, so Frank and Denise left. Denise thought it was odd that Jeremy was tired. She knew medically that his body had undergone a lot, but she thought that there was more to it than that, but admittedly she was tired as well. So they all said goodnight.

As Frank and Denise were walking to the car, Denise asked what the plan was to help with Jeremy's attitude.

Frank replied, "I was a little annoyed with his attitude with the physical therapist, and I let him know that. So I took the military approach… tough love per say."

"OK, what does that mean?" Denise's curiosity was peaked.

"I pretty much told him that I would not accept him not trying, nor would I put up with his negative attitude. And that his life was not over, just because he had serious and life changing injures. And some other things. But this is between Jeremy and me." Frank looked like a chestier cat, but Denise knew not to press any further.

"I do not know about you… but I am exhausted." Denise said as she yawned.

"Yes, I am too." Frank agreed.

They arrived at home about 1000 o'clock or in Frank's world 2200 hours. Frank and Denise headed off to bed shortly after they got home. Neither one said much to the other. They reached the master sweet of the house. The room was tastefully decorated, with comfortable furniture, nothing fancy but it was nice.

Frank and Denise slipped into bed and kissed each other good night. They both drifted off to sleep thinking about Jeremy, but they knew that nothing more could be or would be done tonight.

They had been asleep for about four hours when the phone rang. Denise assumed that it was someone from the Army wanting Frank to report somewhere as soon as possible. Frank answered the phone,

"Major Sherwood."

"Major Sherwood, This is Carol from the hospital, I am sorry to call you so late, but you and your wife should come down to the hospital. Umm… your son just had a seizure, and he is unconscious. I will have more details when you get here."


	11. The Storm

Chapter 11—

A/N: I ask for feedback… I know a lot of people have read this story, but some feedback would be appreciated. I am to the point that even negative feedback would be appreciated.

"_Major Sherwood, This is Carol from the hospital, I am sorry to call you so late, but you and your wife should come down to the hospital. Umm… your son just had a seizure, and he is unconscious. I will have more details when you get here."_

The next words out of Frank's mouth, was "We will be right there."

Denise rolled over and said, "Where are you going now?" She was half asleep and really did not hear most of the conversation.

"I am not going anywhere; WE are going to the hospital. Jeremy just had a seizure." What sleepiness was clouding Denise's mind was gone. Both Frank and Denise got out of bed and through on clothes, and ran down the stairs. They were in the car backing out of the drive way seven minutes from when the call came in at 0237 in the morning.

Frank drove as fast as he could. They reached the hospital, and upon their arrival Carol was waiting for them at the nurse's station. She was not the bubbly nurse from earlier; she had a very serious look on her face. Carol was holding a chart in her hand, when she saw Denise and Frank rushing toward her.

"Carol what happened?" Denise demanded.

"Denise and Frank, please some with me." Carol said pointing to a more private waiting area. She had Frank and Denise sit down. The waiting are was small and from the looks of it could use a new coat of paint, but nonetheless was a good place to talk.

"We unfortunately do not know much about Jeremy's condition yet. This is what I can tell you, Dr. Steinbach asked me to brief you on what happened. About an hour ago, I went into check on Jeremy, and he was a wake, which surprised me a little. He and I started talking, about nothing really important. He asked if I would hand him a cup of water, and I did. He took a drink and then started choking, and the next thing I knew he was shaking uncontrollably, basically he was having a seizure. Of course, I called the code, and we were able to stop his convulsing." Carol was very professional in her demeanor, as she continued her monologue.

"Dr. Steinbach was the neurologist on call this evening. We do have Jeremy stabilized, but we do not know the extent if any, of damage the seizure caused, and we also do know as to the cause of the seizure. Dr. Steinbach will be here shortly. Denise, it looked like it was a grand mal seizure." The news was making Denise's head spin, but she was quickly forced back to reality with Carol's last comment.

Frank looked at Denise and asked, "What does that mean?"

"It means that it is seizure that is caused by abnormal electrical activity in a number of parts of the brain. Generally there could be unconsciousness and the lack of muscle control, which may include convolutions. "Denise explained to Frank as Dr. Steinbach walked into the waiting room.

"Denise you are right. And unfortunately so is the diagnosis. As to the cause, I do not yet know. But the symptoms that Jeremy was distributing today were classic symptoms of a seizure. Of course, I believe that we all missed them because Jeremy does not have a history of seizure activity, and we past them off as depression. His moodiness, agitation, extreme tiredness could have been signs… I think that even the fall he took when he came back from physical therapy could have been a symptom as well. Often the loss of balance could be a sign of a potential seizure." Dr. Steinbach explained.

"So what do we do now? Will he have another one? What will the after effects be?" Frank fired questions as fast as he could.

"Right now Major, we wait… We wait for Jeremy to regain consciousness; we wait for the results of the CAT scan and the MRI. I do not know if Jeremy will have another one, nor do I know what the after effects." The doctor always disliked not being able to tell the families the desired outcomes.

"You are the doctor, how can you not know?" Frank was frustrated at the doctor's inability to answer the question. Doctor Steinbach started to say something, but Denise interjected,

"It is often difficult to know why patients with no history of seizures have them. It could be some sort of late developing head trauma, or reaction to meds, sometimes it is a mystery." Denise stated sounding more like a nurse than a mother.

"Again, Denise is correct. I wish I could give you more information, but I am waiting for the results of the MRI and the CAT scan to give me an idea of where the seizure activity was in the brain and what, or if there is any permanent damage." Dr. Steinbach reiterated.

"Dr. Steinbach, can we see Jeremy?" Denise asked. She made a quick look at Frank. Frank was not weathering this one very well; she could see the tenseness in his face. His jaw was clenched so tight that it looked like it could not be pried open with a crow bar.

"Yes, you can. Right now we moved him to the ICU. He is stable and resting comfortably, I did give him a mild sedative to keep him quiet. As I believe that he needs the rest. When he wakes up he maybe somewhat disoriented. I will also tell you, that his eyes are still not responding to stimuli." The doctor looked tired and a little worse for the wear, but it was 315 in the morning.

"Doctor, how soon will you get the results of the MRI and CAT scan?" Frank asked.

"I am hoping that the results are in before rounds at 0700 hours, but I really do not know." Dr. Steinbach was getting tired of not having the answers. This was apart of his job that he disliked the most: not having the answers.

"As soon as I know more I will let you know. Why don't I take you to the ICU?" Dr. Steinbach continued.

With that the doctor walked Carol, Frank and Denise to the ICU where Jeremy was. Jeremy was hooked up to IV's and a couple of monitors, just to track his progress. The doctor looked at the charts, and checked a couple of things, and then said,

"Carol, why don't you and I leave Frank and Denise alone?"

"Denise and Frank if there is anything I can do please let me know." Carol said as she and the doctor walked out of the room.

Denise and Frank looked at each other. Neither one was sure what to say. Denise looked at Frank and just started to cry; and Frank took her in his arms, and just let her cry.

Jeremy was lying motionless in the hospital bed; he was laying flat on his back. He looked like he was at peace; it made Denise think of when Jeremy was a baby, and she would finally get him to sleep. She moved a chair closer to the bed, just in case Jeremy woke up, she would be there. Denise finally broke the silence,

"Frank, why don't you go home and get some sleep? Because don't you have a meeting at 0700? At least you could get some sleep." Denise questioned.

"I would not sleep anyway knowing that you were here. The meeting is with Michael and he will understand when I call him about 0600 and tell him what happened. So I will just stay with you."

Neither one spoke again for a long time. In fact Denise fell asleep in the chair, and she figured Frank would also fall asleep. Denise awoke about 0600 or at least that is what her watch said, to find Frank standing out in the hallway talking to Michael.

"Thank you, sir. I apologize, but under the circumstances I need to be here with my wife and son." Frank then shut the cell phone.

"Oh, good morning. Did you have a nice nap? How about if I go get us some coffee?" Frank said as he walked back into the ICU room. Denise never understood how Frank could get only a couple of hours of sleep and be so coherent.

"Yeah, I would love some coffee." Denise replied wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"Ok, I will be back shortly." Frank walked back into the hall toward the cafeteria.

Denise looked at her son, and his eyes were opened.

"Jeremy, are you awake?" She asked.

"Yes." Jeremy said very softly.

"How are you doing?" Denise was surprised that he was awake.


	12. The Recovery

Chapter 12—

"_How are you doing?" Denise was surprised that he was awake_

"Very tired, where am I?" Jeremy said in almost a whisper.

"You are in the ICU at the hospital. You had a seizure." Denise replied, knowing that Jeremy may not have a memory of the event.

"Mom, what is going on?" Jeremy replied in the same whisper.

"You had a seizure." She said again thinking that Jeremy was a little disoriented, because often those who experience seizure become disoriented.

"I know, you told me that… but head is killing me." Jeremy replied.

"Jeremy, I will go find a nurse. But why don't you try and go back to sleep, you need the rest." Denise replied and kissed Jeremy on the forehead.

Denise walked out into the hallway to the nurses' station. A nurse was sitting at the desk. Without looking up, the nurse said,

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, my son was transferred to the ICU very early this morning. He woke about ten minutes ago, and he was disoriented and complained of a headache." Denise stated.

"Well the doctors will be starting their rounds in about 15 minutes, and you can tell them, and they will prescribe something for the headache." The nurse said still without looking up.

"Do you not want to go check on him?" Denise asked getting a little annoyed with the nurse's complete lack of attention.

"I guess. I will be in a few minutes." The nurse said calmly.

At this point Denise's annoyance had gotten the better of her. She was exhausted, frustrated, scared and yet this nurse was not doing anything. Finally, Denise snapped,

"What is your problem? I have been standing here for the last five minutes. You have not even acknowledged me. You are taking a nonchalant attitude that I do not appreciate. My son is in the ICU, do you not think that there could be something serious wrong with him? Could you please give me some professional courtesy, and maybe go in and check on him?"

"Look, I am sorry that I not at your beck and call… but I am a nurse with other patients. And the last time that I checked on your son he was sleeping, and frankly so were you. And when you become a nurse, you can tell me how to do my job! So I would suggest that you go back to your son's room and wait for the doctor like I told you to." The nurse replied with snarl.

"I am a nurse, in fact in this hospital. I could check my son's vitals myself, but I am little more emotionally invested in this than you are. I am well aware of you having other patients. But all I am asking is that you check on him." Denise was extremely angry, and Frank knew it when he walked up to the desk with 2 cups of coffee.

"Like I said you are going to have to wait for the doctor." The nurse snarled again

Frank handed the cup of coffee to Denise. He asked what was going on, and she regaled the situation. By the time Denise and Frank reached the room, Dr. Steinbach was waiting there. The doctor looked even more exhausted, and frustrated.

"Morning." The doctor said, realizing that it had not been a good morning.

"Well, I just got the CAT scan results back. And frankly I do not see any abnormalities anywhere on the brain. I do see some additional swelling around the optic nerve, but that could also be some residual effects of the injury. Has he woken up yet?" The doctor stated.

"Yes, he has. He complained of a headache, and he seemed a little disoriented, but that is normal after a seizure, right?" Denise spoke quietly.

"You are right." The doctor replied, as the nurse walked in. The same nurse that Denise had the problem with only minutes before.

"Why good morning doctor… I thought I would get in here before you did your rounds." The nurse just glared at Denise

"Good morning to you. Denise was just explaining to me that the patient, Jeremy, was experiencing a headache and some disorientation after his seizure this morning. I think right now I will prescribe a low dosage aspirin, say 400 milligram. Does that sound ok with you, Denise?" Dr. Steinbach asked knowing full well the conversation that had transpired at the nurses' station. Dr. Steinbach shot Denise a quick smile.

"Dr. Steinbach, that sounds fine to me. Perhaps another round of blood work, just to make sure that every thing is ok?" Denise said playing along with the doctor's treatment of the nurse.

"That is a fine idea, nurse please do a full blood work up, and page me if there are any problems. "

"Yes, doctor." The nurse replied.

"One more thing…" The doctor started

"Yes…" The nurse replied again.

"This patient takes top priority… there are only 2 other patients in the ICU right now. The next time I see you disrespecting a patient's family, I will report you, is that clear?" The doctor scolded.

"Crystal clear, sir" The nurse shot Denise a look.

Denise turned to the doctor, and asked how he knew about the situation that has transpired at the nurses' station. The doctor answered,

"I watched it happen. I am sorry that it did, and I have had problems with that nurse before. But be assured that it will not happen again. Anyway, I think that time will tell as to what the seizure did or did not do Jeremy." With those sentiments the doctor walked out of the room.

* * *

Over the next few days Jeremy's condition got progressively better. He was moved out of the ICU, and back into the rehab facility. After the first seizure, his mood and attitude got better as well. But he still had a long ways to go. Then one day, Colonel Holden walked into the rehab room where Jeremy was staying to have a chat. 


	13. Progress

Chapter 13—

A/N: Look I would appreciate any and all feedback on this story. Actually I am running out of ideas for keeping this story going… I am asking for your help.

Colonel Holden walked into the room, where Jeremy was sitting in a chair near the window. Colonel Holden stood there for a moment, waiting for Jeremy to acknowledge him. When Jeremy did not acknowledge him, he gently cleared his throat.Jeremy then said,

"Is there someone here?" It never occurred to Colonel Holden to announce his presence in the room, as this was not something he had ever had to do.

"Private, it is Colonel Holden." Colonel Holden announced. Jeremy immediate stood and saluted the Colonel.

"At ease, I should apologize for not announcing myself." Colonel Holden admitted.

"Sir, I am sorry I did not hear you come in. I am trying to get used to the fact people may have to tell me they are here." Jeremy admitted.

"Son, no need to apologize, I here more on a social call, and some Army business. Lets have a seat." Colonel Holden motioned to the chairs, but of course of the motion was lost on Jeremy.

"I wanted to see how you were doing, as Amanda says that you are doing well." Colonel Holden was trying to make idol conversation.

"Sir, my knee is getting stronger everyday. As for everything else, I am learning how to deal with not seeing the world." Jeremy said.

"Sir, I do not mean to be rude, but why are you here?" Jeremy asked curiously.

"Well, I am here to tell you that you have been put in for a medal, for your bravery in Iraq." Colonel Holden said with a smile.

"Sir, why I am getting a medal? I have not done anything to get a medal." Jeremy was confused, as he could not think of anything that would make him worthy of the honor.

"The day that you were injured you pulled two soldiers out of a hum-ve before it exploded, and you got a face full of shrapnel. Is that not right?" Colonel Holden asked, as he was confused with Jeremy's modesty.

"Yeah, I did pull those soldiers out of the hum-ve, but I do not that think that is heroic, even medal worthy. As I was doing my job." Jeremy said quietly. By that point, Frank walked into the room, really not surprised to see Colonel Holden in the room. Frank knew what the Colonel was planning on doing, but he wanted the honor to surprise Jeremy.

"Hi, Dad." Jeremy said.

"How did you know it was me?" Frank asked.

"I can tell by your heavy footsteps, you must have just come from the field." Jeremy replied. Jeremy's instincts had become more acute. He had been told that when you lose one sense all the remaining senses get better. He did not necessarily believe that, what he did believe was that he just paid better attention.

"Colonel Holden, to what do we owe the visit?" Again Frank was well aware of the reason for the visit, but he just trying to let Jeremy have his moment.

"I was just explaining to Jeremy, that he has been given a medal for his bravery in Iraq. He and his modesty are surprised." Colonel Holden stated.

"Jeremy, that is quiet an honor. You should be very proud." Frank gleamed like a proud father.

"And Jeremy, I would like to hold a ceremony for you and a couple of the honorees." Colonel Holden's words stunned Jeremy. However, Jeremy did not like the idea of a ceremony, as he felt that everyone would see him up on stage and it would turn into a pity ceremony.

"Colonel Holden, with all due respect, I am very proud and honored to be given this commendation, but a ceremony for me is completely unnecessary. And Sir, I really do not want that kind of attention with my current situation." Jeremy said respectfully waving his hands over his blank staring eyes.

Colonel Holden was a little taken back by Jeremy's modesty; however, he did respect Jeremy's honesty. Then Colonel Holden had another idea,

"Jeremy, I respect your wishes, however, I have another idea. What would you say to have a semi-private ceremony, with just your family and friends? It would not be the spectacle that a public ceremony would be."

Jeremy thought for a minute, and then reluctantly agreed to the semi-private ceremony.

"Good, we will start planning this private ceremony for shortly after you get home, which I hear from your Dad will be in a week or so." Colonel Holden was always happy to show case soldiers who had done a good job, and those who earned the commendations.

"I guess word travels fast, oh yeah this is an Army post." Jeremy laughed. This is one of the first times in weeks that Frank heard his son laugh, it was good to hear.

"Jeremy, your mother and I are very proud of you. And we are looking forward to you coming home." Jeremy too was looking forward to leaving the hospital, but not really to going home. He had not been home since he enlisted; there was an unnerving feeling about going home.

"Yeah, me too." Jeremy said.

At that point there was a knock on the door; it was Steve, the physical therapist.

"Jeremy… Oh, I am sorry I did not mean to interrupt, I will come back later."

"No, stay, I was just leaving." Colonel Holden said. Colonel Holden stood up and so did Jeremy.

As the Colonel walked out, Jeremy replied, "Thank you, sir".

After the Colonel left, Frank left shortly after, as Jeremy needed to get to physical therapy and then occupational therapy. In the recent weeks, Jeremy had become pretty proficient at using the white cane. However, proficient Jeremy became the more he hated it, as this was a constant reminder to the world that he was blind. The hospital had been a safe place for Jeremy, because it had been a controlled environment, but he was going home to start life. He had been contemplating what he wanted to do, as the plan before he enlisted was to go to college.

As he and Steve walked to the physical therapy room, there was a silence between the two men. Steve finally broke the silence,

"You must be excited about going home soon. As going home will help you develop a routine, and it will be nice to be around your family." Steve said; actually he was fishing for a conversation.

"I guess." Jeremy replied solemnly.

"What do you mean, 'you guess'? Most people cannot wait to get out of here." Steve said.

"I want to get out of here, but going home means that I am going to have to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. And right now, I have no clue." Jeremy said as he walked with the cane clicking as he walked.

"Ah yes, I have been waiting to have this discussion with you." Steve had been a physical therapist for a long time, and almost inevitably a similar conversation always occurred with patients with permanent disabilities. It was not a bad conversation, but it meant that the patient had some very hard choices to make. In Jeremy's case, he had to find a place for blind ex-soldier, and that could be a tough transition.

"What are you talking about?" Jeremy asked.

"Come on, we are going to skip physical therapy this afternoon, and we are going to talk." Steve took Jeremy's arm, and led Jeremy to his office. Once in the office Steve helped Jeremy to find a chair in front of his desk.

"Steve, did I say something wrong? Because you have not let me out of physical therapy before." Jeremy was surprised, and unsure of what was happening.

"Not at all, but there comes a time when a patient looks to the future, and wonders what is next. And it is often a very scary and unnerving place to be. I know that when I injured my knee, and the doctors told me that I would never be able to run again, I was crushed, because running was the only thing that I thought I was good at. Look, I realize my injury does not compare to the lost of sight. But there are some similarities. I know that you are getting tired of hearing it is going to take time, but it is the truth." Steve said.

"I agree with you, a knee injury does not compare very well with not seeing anything. But I just do not know what I am going to do with my life. I could go to college, but I do not know what to study… or for that matter how to study… um blind. I do not want to always rely on my parents." Jeremy expressed with a relief of actually being able say those words.

"Jeremy, you have come a long way in very short time. When you got here, you were angry, proverbially beaten up. Actually, I saw you when you got here… you were pretty beaten up. Now you have started to accept the new limitations… the fact that you are even thinking about college is huge. But I will have to say this to you… there are some other things that you need to learn before you go off to college; basically some other life skills. I would suggest that you learn Braille, and how to use other assistive technology for the visually impaired. I will tell you that your life will be different and there will be challenges without a disability, but there are tools available for you." Steve was pretty impressed with how far Jeremy had come in accepting his disabilities. Frankly, it was a surprise to him that Jeremy was even thinking about going to college.

"Where do I learn that stuff? Do I have to stay in the hospital?" Jeremy asked.

"There are a number of options. The first being a place called 'New sight'. It is an organization that helps people transition with disabilities. Actually it is not too far from post. If you are interested, I can make a phone call. And no you would not stay at the hospital; this would all be done by as an outpatient." Steve said thoughtfully.

"Can I think about it? I would like to talk with my parents." Jeremy had a strange feeling of relief.

"Yeah, take your time. I hope that I was not too hard on you during your physical therapy session this afternoon." Steve laughed.

"Not at all. Thanks. I need to get back to my room, as Mom and Dad are taking me out for dinner, and I would like to change clothes." Jeremy was a little nervous about going out in public for the first time, but it had to be done some time. Plus, Jeremy was going home in a few days, so he was going to have to get used to it.


	14. The Quest

Chapter 14—

A/N: Thank you for everyone's feedback and ideas. The idea with Jeremy and Amanda is a great idea, but I think I need to do another chapter first, but I promise there will be a chapter like that soon. Thanks again for the feedback, please keep it coming.

Steve and Jeremy were chatting about sports, and other things, when they arrived at the hospital room where Jeremy had spent so much time in the recent months. As they were turning the corner to the room, Steve and Jeremy were talking about running.

"Yeah, I got used to running when I was in boot camp; in fact I actually learned to enjoy the freedom. My dad runs daily, and I would once in while go running with him." Jeremy said remembering the thrill of running. But he was unsure with his injured knee and of course the complete lack of sight.

"Actually, I do not see why you cannot eventually go back to running. Your knee is healing well, but of course I would not put your knee through a marathon, but a few miles a week would not be a bad idea. Of course, I would start slow." Steve said, excited about seeing some kind of passion in Jeremy. Steve had over time learned that patients who could either develop or rekindle a passion for something, usually did better in the long term.

"You cannot be serious?! I cannot run anymore… I cannot see where I am going." Jeremy was a little confused.

"Sure you can. All you need is a guide. Perhaps you and your Dad could go running together." Steve said trying not to stifle Jeremy's enthusiasm.

"I do not know whether or not Dad would want to take the time." Jeremy thinking back to all the times in the past that Frank had not had the time for Jeremy.

"All you have to do is ask. Look, we are back at your room… did you not say that you wanted to change before your folks got here?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I guess I do. Thanks Steve for everything." Jeremy turned and headed for the small closet, where he knew there was a clean pair of jeans and a collared shirt. Jeremy had learned to count the steps from the closet to the bathroom, to the bathroom to the bed, etc. He of course used the cane to ensure that he did not bump into anything.

Jeremy was sitting on the bed strapping his knee brace back on when Denise walked in. Denise was both pleased and excited to see Jeremy make as much progress both physically and mentally in the recent months.

"Hi Mom, I thought that Dad was coming." Jeremy said with a smile.

"Hi yourself. How did you know it was me? And unfortunately, your Dad is not coming to dinner with us, as he got called away… you know it's an Army thing." Denise said marveling at how good her son looked.

"I knew it was you by your perfume. Cool Water, right? And I did not hear Dad's heavy boots on the floor." Jeremy said, actually being impressed with himself for remembering his mother's favorite perfume. As this was the same birthday gift that Jeremy has given Denise for years.

"I am impressed. Well since your father could not join us this evening, I asked Amanda to come along with us, I hope you do not mind."

"No that sounds great… I wish Dad was going to join us though." Jeremy was a little disappointed that Frank was not going to be joining them, because there was so much he wanted to talk to Denise and Frank about. Amanda was a wonderful and sweet girl, but Jeremy knew there would never be a future for them together, as it was not fair to her to have endured his very physical limitations. However, a friend was always nice to have. Also, so long ago they had both shared something very special in that gazebo, but really nothing more than a friendship could come from that.

"Your Dad will join us later at home for desert. As that is my other surprise for you this evening… I have asked Dr. Steinbach if you could spend an evening at home, since you will be coming there in a week or so. At first he was reluctant, just based on your equilibrium being a bit off, but he remembered what a wonderful nurse that I am." Denise said sarcastically.

"Yeah, and mother too." Jeremy was not being sarcastic, as he was fully aware of the fact hat he would not be where he was in his recovery without her.

"That was nice for you to say. Are you ready to go?" Denise replied.

"Yeah, in a minute I just have to find my cane. " Jeremy quickly found the cane next to him on the bed. Denise walked over to him, and he took her arm.


	15. Planning

Chapter 15—

A/N: As promised this chapter will be the start of a chapter with an interaction with Jeremy and Amanda. Please keep the reviews coming. Thanks.

Denise and Jeremy arrived at the restaurant about 630p. After parking the car, she got out and when to the passengers side of the car to help Jeremy. As he was getting out of the car he hit his head on the door frame.

"Ouch." Jeremy said rubbing his head.

"Are you ok?" Denise asked like an overprotective mother.

"Yeah, I am fine… I have just have to get used being more aware of where things are." Jeremy said still rubbing his head.

"Ok, or there is another option…" Denise said, again trying to be sarcastic.

"What is that? Wear a helmet?" Jeremy could be just as sarcastic as his mother.

"Not actually what I was thinking, but that would work too. Beside you would never know if the helmet had hot pink flowers on it." Denise laughed and so did Jeremy.

"Mom, promise me something… that you would never let me leave the house with hot pink anything on." Jeremy said half kidding and half serious.

"I promise. Are you ready to go in?" Denise asked.

"Yeah, where are we?" Jeremy asked wondering what restaurant his mother had chosen for dinner.

"Well, I thought I would take you to one of your favorite restaurants… La Casa Del Taco." La Casa Del Taco was one of Jeremy's very favorite restaurants, he loves Mexican food. Jeremy carefully shook this cane open and then tapped it on the ground to stabilize it.

"Lets go, I am hungry." Jeremy said taking Denise's arm. As they walked into the restaurant Denise was still marveling at Jeremy's transformation and acceptance. She had seen her son angry, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless and yet he was now at least hopeful about the future. Denise also knew that Jeremy had come a long ways, but he still had a long ways to go; but at least he was going in the right direction.

They walked into a pretty busy restaurant, which made Jeremy a little nervous. The nervousness stemmed from not being able to see where he was going, and the fear of the unknown environment. He had spent the last few months in a very control environment at the hospital with people who were able and willing to help. Denise could feel the tenseness rise in Jeremy. The grip on Jeremy had on her arm had tightened considerably, so she knew Jeremy was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"Relax, you are doing fine." Denise whispered. Jeremy nodded, but he still felt very nervous. The hostess took Jeremy and Denise to a table, and seated them. The waitress handed Denise a menu, and then tried to hand a menu to Jeremy, but he missed the gesture. The waitress realized why when she saw Jeremy fold up the white cane and place it next to him. She then asked if a Braille menu was needed, and Jeremy's face got a little red, but he declined. The waitress stated that she would be back later to take their orders.

"I wonder where Amanda is?" Denise asked checking her watch.

"Mom, for a Colonel's daughter you would think that she would be on time… sorry it just does not happen." Jeremy laughed.

"She has always been very punctual with me, I guess until now." Then Denise looked up and saw Amanda walking up to the table.

"Mrs. Sherwood, I am so sorry that I was late. Dad, wanted to have one of his many father-daughter chats." Amanda said, as she put a small bag in front of Jeremy.

"Its ok Amanda, Jeremy and I were just talking." Amanda kept smiling at Jeremy. She too was happy to see Jeremy doing so well.

"Jeremy, I brought you something." She put the small bag in his hands, so that he could open it. He opened it, and he realized that it was a CD case.

"I hope you like it; it is that CD that you liked last week." Amanda said with a smile.

"Thank you." Jeremy said.

The waitress came back to take the drink orders. At this point, Jeremy wished he was 21, just because this was going to be a long dinner with two women and him. Jeremy was having a hard time following the conversation between Amanda and his mother. The waitress came back with the drinks and placed it right next to Jeremy's hand which he would have knocked over if it had not been for his mother had not moved it. The waitress took Amanda's and Denise's order first, and then turned to Jeremy and very loudly asked Jeremy what she could get for him. It was good thing for Jeremy, this was his favorite restaurant, because that also meant that he had favorite dish as well. Neither Denise nor Amanda explained the menu to Jeremy.

"I would like to order, the taco amigo plate please, with sour cream on the side, and no refried beans." Jeremy ordered.

"Will that be all, sir?" The waitress said in her loud voice.

"Yes, thank you." Jeremy replied as the waitress walked away.

"What was that all about?" Amanda asked suspicious about the volume of the waitress's voice.

"It is sometimes assumed that when someone is blind, that they cannot hear either. She is a twit." Jeremy said coldly. But Jeremy decided to blow off the situation, because it was nice to be out with his mother and Amanda, and also he was going to have get used to people's ignorance.

The food came, and it took Jeremy a moment to determine where things were on his plate. In rehab, he was taught to divide the plate up into a clock. Where at 1200 would be the Mexican rice, 300 o'clock would be the tacos, etcetera. Denise and Amanda watched Jeremy, they both wanted to jump in and help, but they knew that his would only embarrass Jeremy and that was the last thing they wanted to do.

"So Amanda, you mentioned that you and your Dad had a father-daughter talk…" Denise was trying to take the attention off of Jeremy.

"Yeah, Dad is trying to get me to decide on a major for when I go to school in the fall. I know that I have taken a year off, but I still do not know what I want to do." Amanda complained.

"Amanda, it took me years to finish my degree, and believe me when you find the passion for something it will all make sense." Denise said attempting to make Amanda feel better.

"I could just stay here a work, but I know that Mom and Dad would have a fit." Amanda said.

"Amanda, do not do that. You have so much more talent than that." Jeremy said, "Besides eventually I will be going to college as well. Of course it probably will not be in the fall, but I will go." Jeremy had been trying all evening to find away to tell his mother of his decision to eventually go off to college.

"Jeremy, that's great… I did not know that you were planning anything like that." Denise was even more excited about her son's future.

"Well, I have a lot more stuff to learn before I can go. I was talking to Steve today, and he mentioned that there was a place not to far from here when I can learn to read Braille and other stuff. Of course, I need more information. And I wanted to talk to you and Dad about it first." Jeremy was a little apprehensive about talking to his father about this, not because his father would not support his decision, but because their relationship had been so distant in the past.

"Well, you can tell your Dad and me the rest of this later, at home. I am sure that he will be thrilled as I am about your plans." Denise said as she finished signing the credit card receipt that was brought to the table while the three were talking.

"Are we ready to go?" Denise asked as Jeremy took her arm and maneuvered with his cane.

As they were walking to the cars, Denise asked Amanda to join them for desert later, as her parents would also be joining them. Amanda agreed.

When Denise and Jeremy got home, Frank was there finishing a sandwich. He saw them come in, and he looked at his son was amazed at the progress he had made. It still bothered him to see Jeremy so cumbersome, especially with the cane, but Frank was resigned to the fact that this was part of life.

"Hi." Frank said.

"Hi Dad… sorry we missed you at dinner." Jeremy replied.

"Yeah, I am too. I would have enjoyed dinner at that taco place." Frank actually did not like Mexican food, but that is not the reason why that he did not make dinner. There was an emergency meeting that he had to attend at the last minute.

Denise kissed Frank a hello. She walked to the refrigerator to take out a cake that they were going to have for desert. She then and made coffee.

"But at least I am going to able to make desert. I just love your cake." Frank said grabbing his wife from behind. Actually, Jeremy was glad that he could no longer see is father groping his mother. Umm… blindness does have some advantages, Jeremy mused himself.

"And besides you are going to have to wait until Michael, Claudia Joy and Amanda gets here. As I have invited them for desert." Denise replied.

"Well then, I am going to have to wait." Frank said as he watched Jeremy try to maneuver around the family room, with the cane. Frank really hated watching his son struggle. He walked over to try to help Jeremy, in what ever way he could, but Jeremy said,

"Dad, I am never going to learn this if you do it for me. I appreciate your help, but I have to do this." Jeremy said calmly, quietly and politely.

Before Frank could respond, there was a knock on the door, and it was Michael, Claudia Joy, and Amanda. After the hellos were said everyone retired to the family room. Jeremy sat in of the two recliners; Michael sat in the other one. Denise and Claudia Joy sat on the couch in front of the coffee table where there was tray of coffee, cups, and desert. Amanda pulled a chair from the kitchen table into the family room.

"Jeremy, it is very good to see you." Claudia Joy said. Then she got a little embarrassed, as she realized what she said. Jeremy also realized that Claudia Joy felt like she had made some sort of faux pa. But Jeremy had gotten used to some of it. But he replied very casually.

"Mrs. Holden is nice to see you as well." Jeremy half smiled. He knew that Claudia Joy meant nothing by the comment. In fact, he had always like Claudia Joy; she always had such a special grace. She outspoken, but gentle when she needed to be.

"So Jeremy, how is your knee doing?" Michael Holden asked, trying very hard to get out of the realm of embarrassment.

"Actually, it is get better. In fact, I was told today by the physical therapist, that I could start running again. He suggested that I not try marathons, but to take it slow." Frank was surprised; he had never given it any thought as to what Jeremy could actually do, as he was always focused on the here and now for Jeremy.

"That's great, may be you, Frank and I could run one morning very soon. Of course, after you get clearance." Michael said.

"That would be great, thanks." Jeremy said. By this point, Denise was handing out desert and coffee. Everyone always enjoyed when Denise baked; she enjoyed baking. Everyone continued chatting about the gossip on the post. When Jeremy excused himself to step outside, and he asked Amanda to come along. The two went for a walk, a there was something that he wanted to talk about with Amanda, and he had the opportunity to do so.


	16. Maturity

Chapter 16—

A/N: Thank for all the kind reviews. I hope that this story continues be an enjoyment to all. Please keep the reviews coming.

Jeremy and Amanda walked not too far from the house. The evening was cool, probably around sixty-five degrees. Amanda was enjoying this time with Jeremy. Amanda thought for a minute… she had known Jeremy since they were about five years old. They had grown up together, and it was not until before Jeremy enlisted did she realize what a great relationship that they have. He is her first love. She knew that they were meant to be together for the rest of their lives. Amanda had not been able to spend as much time as she would like to with Jeremy since he returned home. In the beginning, she was fearful of the depression and anger that Jeremy had possessed. But she liked leading him, she felt like he needed her.

Jeremy walked with Amanda. His left hand held on to her right arm, and the cane was in his right hand. As they walked Jeremy was trying to find away to tell Amanda that she should not count on a lifetime of being a couple. He did not see the fairness in making her suffer because of his disability. It was bad enough that he would have to deal with the challenges of being blind, but to make her endure it would be wrong and unfair. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt her, but he did not see anyway that anything but a strong friendship could last.

The two walked to a small park near the Sherwood home. They sat on the bench, and Amanda just gazed at Jeremy. She was sad that those brown eyes were vacant, but she thought they could overcome his limitations and make a wonderful life together. Finally the silence was broken. Jeremy hated what he was about to say, but he knew that their relationship could not continue the way that Amanda wished. The decision to explain this to Amanda stemmed from two things; one Jeremy was still unclear as to what he was able to do, and the fact that the unfairness of allowing Amanda to have to cope with his limitations was just too much.

"So why are you putting off going off to college?" Jeremy was very direct.

"Because… um I do not know what I want to do." Amanda said knowing full well that Jeremy could proverbially see right through her ploy. Because the real reason was that she wanted to be close to Jeremy. It has almost killed her when Jeremy was in Iraq, and she was here. There were many nights that she prayed that they would be together soon. Her prayer was bittersweet. They were together, but Jeremy was now blind.

"Amanda, please I may be blind but I am not stupid. You want to stay here because of me, right?" Jeremy said with softness trying not to be rude or unkind to Amanda.

"I guess… umm… you are right. I am so glad that you are home, and now we can start a life together." Amanda replied.

"When you were talking at dinner, about the argument that you had with your father, I could sense that there was something more to it than not knowing what you want to major in. I guess… my question to you is… do you really see a future with me?" Jeremy was trying to be very gentle, because the last thing that he wanted to do to her was hurt her.

"Jeremy… I can see us married! I can see us having a family. I say all of this before you left, and now I see it more clearly." Amanda was clear of what she wanted.

"Amanda, let me ask you this… when you saw us married, did you see a white cane in the picture?" Jeremy's directness was finally getting through to Amanda.

"What do you mean? Do you mean… did I see you blind? Of course not… but it really does not matter if you can see or not. We belong together." Amanda was fighting the tears.

"Amanda, we have been friends for a very long time. We have shared many things together, but it is unfair of me to ask you to have to cope with my blindness. Honey, I have yet to fully come to terms with the challenges of not being able to see, and yet you are talking about us being married and having a family. I am sorry I am not ready for that, and frankly I love you enough to say that you need to go off to college, and not be burdened by me." By this point Amanda was in tears. Jeremy fumbled around and took Amanda's hand, and continued…

"I think we will always have a great friendship, but you deserve to find your own life. I will not let you give up your own personal goals to be my caretaker. That is not fair to you."

"Jeremy, STOP IT!! You do not mean this… you are not officially out of rehab yet, you do not know what you want. How can you tell me that you will be a burden to me?" Amanda was sobbing.

"Look, I am not trying to make you feel bad… but there are a lot of things I will never be able to do again. And you would be the one to pick up the slack… and I am not willing to let you do that. Please, take care of yourself, and go off to college." By this point Jeremy was pleading with Amanda, for her to understand.

Finally, Amanda realized that she would not get Jeremy to change his mind. At this point, she was crying pretty hard. She stood up and starting walking away. Jeremy stopped her,

"Amanda, there is one small problem here I need your help to get home." Jeremy said bringing the whole situation back to reality.

"Oh yeah, sorry." Amanda said with small smile. Jeremy took Amanda's arm, and they walked back to the Sherwood's home. Neither spoke, until they got to the front door.

"Jeremy, I do not want to go back in there, will you tell them that I was pretty tired and I decided to go home?" Amanda asked still sobbing.

Jeremy gently kissed her cheek and said, "I will tell them." With that said Amanda walked to her car and got in and drove away. Jeremy stood there for a minute wishing that things could be different, because he did want more, but he knew that it was just not fair to expect that from her. She needed to have experiences that did not include caring for a blind boyfriend or husband. Finally, he turned the door knob, and walked into the family room of the home. When he walked in everyone stopped talking. He could feel all their eyes on him. Michael said,

"Jeremy, where is Amanda?"

"She said that she was pretty tired, and that she wanted to go home." Jeremy replied. Claudia Joy and Michael exchanged looks. They both knew something had transpired, but what they would not know until they got home. Even Denise and Frank exchanged inquisitive looks, but of course all of their looks were completely missed by Jeremy.

Claudia Joy, Michael, Frank and Denise looked at Jeremy hoping that he would be willing to complete the details. By the look on Jeremy's face, he was not willing to give up the desired information. Jeremy just stood in the foyer area, wondering what he should do; should he retire to his room, should he join the conversation. Frank finally said,

"Jeremy, why don't you sit down?" The question that Jeremy had at this very awkward moment was, ok where?

"No thanks, I think I am going to head upstairs. If no one minds I too am tired." Jeremy said, and he was actually tired, unlike Amanda he was physically tired.

"Well, Michael, its late, maybe we should go home." Claudia Joy chimed.

"Mr. and Mrs. Holden please do not leave on my account." Jeremy said graciously.

"No, I have an early meeting in the morning. Frank and Denise, thank you for everything." Michael said, getting up to leave.

Claudia Joy motioned to Denise, call me. Meaning that when Jeremy finally told her what happened to give Claudia Joy a call. Everyone said their good nights, and the Holden's left. Denise looked at Jeremy, and said,

"Ok, Jeremy what happened?" He was not mad, just concerned. She liked Amanda, and just wanted to make sure she was all right.

"Mom and Dad, when Amanda and I went for a walk, we ended up at the park. We had a conversation. I asked her what the real reason was that she did not want to go off to college in the fall." Jeremy started.

"And?" Frank asked harshly.

"And she told me that she wanted to hang out here for me. I told her that she needed to go off to college. She kept telling me that we were meant to be together." Jeremy continued feeling like he was being interrogated.

"OK, and so?" Now it was Denise's turn.

"I told her that I love her, but I would not let her put her life on hold, while I got mine together. Look, I did not want to hurt her, but she deserves a life that does not revolve around my blindness. I tried to explain to her that it was not fair to her to have care for me. There are a lot of things I will never do again, or rather cannot do again, and I do not want her to be burdened by that." Jeremy said being relieved.

Frank and Denise did not know what to say. They were surprised with Jeremy's openness, and his honesty. Jeremy continued…

"Again the last thing that I ever wanted to do was hurt her, but we have to be realistic. I want her to be happy, and I do not believe that she would be happy with me. Frankly, I am not ready to get married. I still have a lot to learn… I want to go to college, but there are a lot of things I need to do first. I need to figure out what I want."

At this point, Denise's eyes were moist. She understood where Jeremy was coming from, but she also understood how Amanda felt. Frank was very surprised at his son's practical nature.

"I am sorry that I ruined your evenings. I just wanted Amanda to know how I felt. Mom, did I hear you right that I am going to stay here tonight?" Jeremy asked trying to change the subject.

"Son, you did not ruin our evenings. We are just surprised." Frank finally said.

"Yes, you are staying here tonight, if of course you want to." Denise said.

"I would like to." Jeremy replied with a sigh.

Frank just looked at his son. He was impressed in what mature adult that Jeremy had grown into so quickly. The maturity and honesty it took for him to tell Amanda that and then tell Denise and him that was interesting. Denise went up and hugged her son… and said quietly, "I am proud of you."

After the hug, Denise announced that she was tired, and was heading upstairs to bed, and asked if Frank would join her, and he replied no, I will stay here and watch some TV. Denise asked if Jeremy needed any help, and he replied that he would stay and watch TV with Frank. For some reason, this surprised Frank, as he never thought that Jeremy would want to watch TV. Jeremy said good night to his mother, and then found his way to the couch.

Frank flipped the TV remote, and finally settled on Sports Center. Jeremy sat there and listened to the commentators, but he was lost in thought, when Frank said,

"Here." Frank held out a bottle of cold beer, and Jeremy reached up and grabbed it, as Frank guided it in his hand. Jeremy took a sip figuring it was a soda.

"Dad, this is beer, I am not…" Before Jeremy could finish

"Yeah you are old enough, in this house, you became old enough when you went and fought in Iraq." Frank replied.

"Thanks." Jeremy was shocked.

"That took a lot of guts telling Amanda that tonight." Frank said.

"I really did not want to hurt her, but…" Jeremy sighed.

"Son, I cannot begin to understand what you are going through right now. But I have seen something happen to you, and I just want to go on the record and say I am proud of you." Frank said with a smile.

"Thanks. That means a lot." Jeremy could not remember ever hearing those words come out of his father's mouth.

They both sat in silence. Jeremy did not hear the TV, he assumed that Frank had it on mute. Finally, Jeremy broke the silence.

"Dad, were you serious the day that we were in the cafeteria, and you said that if I ever needed to talk about what I saw over there, you would listen?" Jeremy asked cautiously, as he never had a conversation like this with Frank.

Frank replied, "Very, why?"

"Just because there are things that I saw, that I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night remembering." Jeremy said.

"Like nightmares?" Frank asked curiously, because in his twenty-five year career with the Army he knew all about the dreams and the nightmares.

"No not really nightmares, just dreams. They are just so vivid, and I know that they were real events." Jeremy continued.

"Yeah, actually I know those all too well. I remember when I was in Kosovo… months after I came home I did not have one night that I did not wake up remembering. Son, they are very hard to forget…" Frank replied.

"How did you forget them?" Jeremy was searching for something. It was not that the dreams were bad, nor were they nightmares, they were memories.

"Jeremy, you will never for get them… believe me… you just start to accept them as part of your life, and you start to move on." Frank was searching for some facial or visual response from Jeremy, because he temporarily forgot that his son's eyes were going to be empty.

Frank stood up, and was heading to the kitchen for another beer, when he asked,

"Jeremy, do you want another one?" Frank said clinking his beer bottle to let Jeremy know what he was talking about.

"No thanks… I think that I am going to go to bed." Jeremy stood up, and unfolded his cane and lightly tapped it.

Frank put down his beer bottle on the counter and headed to his son.

"Would you like some help?" Frank asked.

"Actually I would… thanks." Jeremy admitted.

"Ok, how do I do this?" Frank asking how to guide his son.

"Well, I will put my left hand on your shoulder, and you just walk, and I will follow. And when there are steps, just tell me." Jeremy said.

"Got it." Frank was a bit cautious, as he took Jeremy upstairs to his room. They reached the room. Frank started laughing.

"What is so funny?" Jeremy asked.

"Your mother must have pulled your bed back, and she laid out a pair of shorts." Both men laughed, as they found it amusing that Denise had taken the effort.

"Jeremy, I will leave you, unless you need something." Frank said.

"No I think I am good… thanks." Jeremy said still smiling.

"Dad…?" Jeremy questioned.

"Yeah…?" Frank answered.

"Thanks." Jeremy said.

"You are welcome. Good night, Son." Frank said.

"Night." Jeremy said.

Jeremy quickly changed into the shorts that were on the bed, and walked around the room trying to get his bearings. Finally, he crawled into bed. He fell asleep quickly thinking… what is tomorrow going to bring?


	17. Sleep is a funny thing

Chapter 17—

A/N: Thank you for the very kind words about my fanfiction. I am having fun writing it… I still have a few chapter ideas… however, I would greatly appreciate others.

_Jeremy quickly changed into the shorts that were on the bed, and walked around the room trying to get his bearings. Finally, he crawled into bed. He fell asleep quickly thinking… what is tomorrow going to bring?_

Jeremy woke up; he did not know what time it was… and really never knew what time it was without asking. This was one of the many things that he hated: Never knowing what time it was. He lay in bed, but could not fall back to sleep. He decided to get up and try to take a shower and get dressed. Jeremy never thought up to this point that showering and getting dressed could be such an adventure. He tried to visualize in his mind what the room looked like before he left; he was pretty sure that his parents had not moved anything since he left. Ok, he thought to himself, lets try this, first he tried to stand up, and pain resonated from his injured knee, which had become accustomed to, only because the muscles and tendons tighten up at night from lack of use. The physical therapists and doctors told him that this painful sensation would eventually go away as the knee healed.

Next he grabbed the cane from the night stand, and opened it. He maneuvered through the room with a few minor bumps. He was able to find the basics from the dresser drawers. He found a t-shirt, a pair of work out pants, socks (that he hoped were white.), and underwear. Jeremy was feeling pretty pleased that he had accomplished this very simple task. Next was the bathroom, which was luckily connected to his bedroom. Again, he maneuvered in there with little incident. Just like mom, Jeremy thought… to make sure there was soap and shampoo in the shower.

The hot water felt good on his face. He let the warm water consume his thoughts. It was nice that he was at home; he had spent the past few months at the hospital, and there was no comparison like being at home. It was glad that his mother had worked it out with the doctor to let him come home at least for one night as a test run. Finally, he shut the water off, and reached for the towel that his mother had always insisted be on the towel bar next to the shower. He wrapped himself in the towel, and left the shower stall being very tentative as he stepped, as his knee did not need any set backs; like a slip or a fall. Jeremy stood in front of the mirror; he knew this only because he felt the sink in front of him. He reached for the toothbrush, that he knew would be in the toothbrush holder on the counter, and next to it was the toothpaste. He could not remember if this was the way it had always been or if his mother specially designed this for his first night home. After Jeremy brushed his teeth, his hand touched his cheek.

He realized that a shave might be a good idea, but he really was not in the mood; nor was he looking forward to the adventure of using a straight edge razor. The use of a straight edge razor was just not something he desire this morning.

Jeremy carefully walked back into the bedroom. Every step was cautious for two reasons: 1 being that he was not wearing the knee brace and the second was the fact that he was still learning to maneuver his room. He finished getting dressed and tried to make the bed. He had no idea what it looked like. However, Jeremy was confident that the state of the bed making process was not the Army standard, but the effort was made.

It was time that Jeremy maneuvered the stairs by himself. Using the cane he made it down the stairs without incident. He was also trying hard not to make too much noise, as he did not want to wake his parents, as he was pretty sure that it was very early. As he walked through the house he would occasionally bump into things… finally he made it to the couch. Jeremy sat down, and must have fallen asleep, when he heard Frank run down the stairs. The noise startled Jeremy out of his slumber.

Frank had peered into Jeremy's room and saw that the bed was made… and actually it was not too bad, he could not bounce a quarter off it, but it was not bad. When he did not see Jeremy, he was little concerned, but he knew that Jeremy must not have gone too far, especially at 0400. As Frank walked into the family room he saw Jeremy on the couch, to what he appeared to be asleep. But Jeremy broke the silence, as he sat up,

"Morning, Sir." Jeremy was still half asleep.

"Good Morning. What are you doing up so early?" Frank asked surprised to see his son awake so early, as Jeremy had never been a morning person.

"Well, I woke up, I did not know what time it was. I tried to go back to sleep with no luck, so I got up and showered and came down here." Jeremy replied with a yawn.

"What do you mean that you did not know what time it was? There was a clock next to your bed." Frank no sooner said that, and realized what he had said. He basically was telling his blind son to read the clock next to his bed. Jeremy started to laugh.

"Yeah, I should have done that… but well um…" Jeremy found this very amusing at this time of the morning.

"Sorry Jeremy. It is pretty early in the morning… it's about 0430." Frank said trying not to laugh at his stupidity.

"Do not worry about it. I should have realized what time it was when I heard you come down the stairs… you always run between 0400 and 0430 every morning." Jeremy now remembering why he would rarely run with Frank before Iraq; Jeremy was once the poster child for not being a morning person.

"Yeah, that is where I was heading… but when I saw that you were not in your room I was a bit concerned." Frank replied.

"You know what… since you are awake, why don't you come running with me?" Frank offered.

"I would like that… but I am not supposed to run yet with my knee in the brace." Jeremy frowned, as he would have liked to go with his Dad.

"Umm… that is a problem. But can you take a walk?" Frank asked, because lately his morning run had turned into a morning walk, but he had not told anyone that.

"Yeah… I just do not want to cramp your style." Jeremy said.

"Ok, lets go" Frank said, as he picked up Jeremy's cane and put in Jeremy's hands. He watched Jeremy unfold the cane, and marveled how that this small stick could make his son's life just a bit easier. Jeremy did not take Frank's shoulder, he let the cane guide him, but he still knew that Frank would make sure that he did not get hurt.

The two men walked out of the house. After they were a couple of blocks away from the house, Frank started the conversation,

"Jeremy, you mentioned last night that you wanted to go to college. Is this true?"

"Yeah, I would like to go to college at some point. Steve, my physical therapist, and I talked about it yesterday. However, he suggested that I learn Braille and some other technologies to make it easier. But yeah, I would like to go to college… to study what I do not know." Jeremy said trying to concentrate on each step since he did not let Frank guide him.

"If that is what you want to do… go to college… that's great!! Now that you are in the Army you would be eligible for the GI Bill… I can find out more information for you if you would like." Frank was very enthusiastic about the prospect.

"I would like to know more, but I want to talk with Steve again about learning Braille, and the other stuff." Jeremy admitted.

Frank saw Michael doing his usual morning run. Frank saluted, forgetting to announce Michael's presence.

"Good morning." Michael said.

"Good morning, sir" Jeremy saluted.

"Jeremy, I thought that you did not have the clearance to run yet." Michael probed.

"Sir, I do not, but I woke up early and Dad and I decided to go for a walk. I think that I may be cramping his style a bit this morning." Jeremy admitted.

"No, Jeremy, I do not think you are… umm… your father has not been running as much as he used to. I see him out here most mornings just walking." Frank had not realized how observant Michael was.

"Yeah, well I like to save my energy." Frank replied kiddingly.

"Energy for what?" Jeremy and Michael asked.

"Never mind." Frank said.

"Jeremy, I was wondering if I may speak to you a moment?" Michael asked changing the subject.

"Yes, Sir" Jeremy replied wondering how much that Amanda had told him and Mrs. Holden the night before.

"Actually, you are going back to the hospital today right?" Michael asked.

"Yes sir." Jeremy was getting a bit nervous.

"I would like to meet you for a cup of coffee say about 1300 hours. Unfortunately now is not the time or the place to talk about my daughter." Michael said. Jeremy could not read his tone of voice.

"Yes, sir, 1300 hours for a cup of coffee." Jeremy sighed, knowing full well he was going to have to explain what transpired between him and Amanda the night before.

"Yes you will. I will see you then." Michael turned to leave.

"Son, you are going to have to explain what happened last night that made his little girl so unhappy. I want to tell you that I believe that you have Amanda's best interest at heart, but you are going to have to sell it to the Colonel." Frank grimaced at the thought of Jeremy explaining the situation to Michael. Frank had a similar situation with Denise's father many years ago, and it was a nerve racking experience.

"Great… Dad what time it is?" Jeremy asked wanting desperately to change the subject.

Frank looked at his watch, wondering if there was something that he could get for Jeremy that would tell him the time.

"Its about 0630. Why are you ready to go back?" Frank asked.

"yeah, my knee is a little sore." Jeremy admitted.

The two men walked back to the house, but this time Frank leading Jeremy. The men talked; both started to have a new understanding for the other. They were laughing at some off colored jokes when they walked through the front door. Frank and Jeremy walked into Denise in the kitchen making a large breakfast.

"Well good morning… I hope you are hungry, because I have pancakes and omelets." Denise said. Both men's mouth was watering. They knew Denise made a mean breakfast.

"I know that I am hungry. Mom, I have a question?" Jeremy asked.

"Can I take some aspirin for my knee?" Jeremy asked only because he was never sure at the hospital what meds he was given. Since his mother was a nurse, she would have a better understanding.

"I think so, why? Do you want me to look at your knee?" Denise was little concerned.

"It is just very sore this morning. I do not think that you need to look at it, as it is just sore." Denise went to the cabinet and took out some aspirin and gave it to Jeremy.

"Thanks Mom… Lets eat." Jeremy said.

The family sat down for breakfast. Denise relished in the fact that her family was together again. After breakfast, Frank left for work, and Denise and Jeremy left for the hospital. Jeremy was scheduled for an MRI follow up visit for his knee this morning and Denise wanted to be there. Denise drove to the hospital, Jeremy was dreading the conversation with Colonel Holden.


	18. Relationship Building

Chapter 18—

A/N: Thank you to all for your kind comments and generous compliments. Please keep them coming.

Jeremy had been back at the hospital for hours. He had an MRI on his knee and the doctors told him that the results would be back sometime in the afternoon. Jeremy and Steve were in the physical therapy room stretching and exercising the injured knee and talking.

"So how did last night go at home?" Steve asked, as he noticed that Jeremy was being more quiet than usual.

"It was ok… I was glad to be home." Jeremy replied, not willing to give up other information unless asked because he was thinking about the conversation that Colonel Holden wanted to have at 1300 hours.

"I am sure it was good to be home… so what did you do last night?" Steve was trying to drag something anything out of him.

"Well, Mom took Amanda and me out for dinner." Jeremy again was only give the minimum information needed to answer the question. Steve sensed that there was something more that Jeremy was not telling him, so finally he asked a more pointed question,

"Jeremy you seem a little more distracted than usual did something happens last night?" Steve was hoping that this would open up the conversation just a bit.

"The night was going good. We went out for dinner and then we came home and Colonel Holden, Mrs. Holden, and Amanda came over for desert." Jeremy stopped

"Amanda is your girlfriend right?" Steve said thinking that this had something to do with her.

"Well, I think she was my girlfriend, but after last night… I do not know." Jeremy said knowing that he could not get out of telling Steve the rest of the story. Steve also knew that he had touched a very sensitive nerve with Jeremy.

"What do you mean that you do not know if she is your girlfriend?" Steve asked.

"Amanda and I went for a walk. I think we walked to a park. She wanted to talk about our future. She talked about getting married and having a family. Also, she wanted to put off going to college indefinitely because she says that she did not know what her major would be. I knew that was a bunch of crap. I have known Amanda since we were five, we grew up together. I finally got her admit that she did not want to go off to college because she wanted to be with me." Jeremy unloaded.

"Oh, and what did you tell her?" Steve asked realizing that Jeremy had made a pretty difficult decision.

"I explained to her that I did not think that it was fair for her to have struggle along with me, while I learned to deal with my limitations. And she needed to go off to college to experience life, and she did not need to be around to take care of me, in fact I think it is completely unfair for me to ask her for that. I am trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life." Jeremy said.

"Oh." Steve was a little surprised at Jeremy's response. Jeremy was not the first patient that Steve has ever had that a significant other that wanted more, than the patient was willing to give. However, Jeremy was one of the few patients that was not ultimately looking out for their best interests; he was looking out for Amanda's best interest. There was nothing selfish about what Jeremy wanted; he wanted Amanda to have her own life. Steve was sure that Jeremy was being honest.

"Is that all you can say?" Jeremy said; being annoyed with the sudden silence.

"I am not sure what to say. Because it sounds like that you are trying to protect Amanda, and that is admirable." Steve was trying to make Jeremy feel a little more at ease with his decision.

"I sense there is a but in there somewhere." Jeremy replied.

"No there is no 'buts' in there. I can only assume that Amanda did not take the news well."

"Yeah, she was in tears. And now I am having coffee with Colonel Holden to discuss this with him at 1300 hours in the cafeteria." Jeremy said wondering again what time it was/

"Umm… then we better get going… as it is 12:40 now." Jeremy really hated not knowing what time it was. The two men walked to the cafeteria. Steve had asked Jeremy if he would like him to say. Jeremy said no, so Steve left him at a booth in the corner by the windows overlooking the garden. Jeremy sat in the booth thinking what he was going to say to Colonel Holden.

Colonel Holden walked into the cafeteria wearing his fatigues and combat boots. He was used to wearing the uniform; he especially liked wearing it around his daughters' boyfriends, as the uniform usually intimidated the young men. But today, he knew that his would not intimate Jeremy for two reasons: the most obvious was that Jeremy could not see him, and the second was that Jeremy had spent is life in the military in way or the other. The Colonel saw immediately upon entering the cafeteria. He walked up to Jeremy. He cleared his throat, and that got Jeremy's attention. Jeremy immediately stood up, feeling a pain in his knee and saluted the senior officer.

"At ease, soldier." Colonel Holden wanted to be authoritative.

"Thank you, sir" Jeremy said tentatively.

"Lets have a seat." Colonel Holden said with same tone of voice.

Both men sat down. Jeremy would have given almost anything to see the look on the Colonel's face at that point in time.

"Jeremy…" The Colonel started.

"Sir, I just want to say…" Jeremy was ready and willing to tell his side of the story.

"Please… I just have one question… would you care to explain to me why that my daughter Amanda was crying when I got home last night?" The Colonel's voice had softened a bit.

"Sir, Amanda and I had a talk." Jeremy said tentatively.

"And?" The Colonel knew how nervous that he was making Jeremy. But he just wanted to know as to why that she was so upset, because she would not talk to him about it.

"Umm… Amanda and I talked about the future… mainly hers. I had asked her why that she did not want to go away to college. I did not accept her answer and I probed deeper. Come to find out she wanted to stay home because of me. She had the vision of us getting married. I have unfortunately do not have the vision. In fact I explained to her that it would be unfair to her. I have yet to fully come to terms with the challenges of not being able to see, and yet she was talking about us being married and having a family. I am sorry I am not ready for that, and frankly I love her enough to say that she needs to go off to college, and not be burdened by me. I would not let her put her life on hold, while I got mine together. Sir, I did not mean to hurt her." Colonel Holden had absolutely no idea that all of this had transpired. He had thought that, actually he did not know what to think.

"Jeremy, I do not know what to say. I have to say that I appreciate your honesty. I think I understand."

"Colonel, Sir, I did not want to hurt her. I am still trying to figure out what my life is supposed to be… and I cannot allow her to give up her life to take care of me. I think the world of your daughter. I got the chance to do see things in the Army, which I am partly glad that I will not see them again, but it forced me to grow up. And I believe that Amanda needs those opportunities as well… perhaps not the Army." Jeremy took a second to imagine Amanda in the Army, and it would be an interesting and funny sight.

"Jeremy, your honesty is appreciated, son. I am glad that you had the conversation with her, because that was my fear of why she did not want to go off to college. Please do not misunderstand me, I believe you two could have a life together, but you are both 19 years old, and you both are too young to make the decision to get married." The Colonel reiterated Jeremy's sentiment.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate the fact that we could have a life together, but I see it as a life of being friends, and nothing more. I literally do not see Amanda and I getting married… especially right now. I have a lot more to learn about myself and my challenges." Jeremy admitted sadly.

"Jeremy, I can only imagine what you are going through at the moment. On a personal note, is there anything I can do?" The Colonel was moving back into the family friend role rather than a senior officer.

"Actually, sirs there are two things." Jeremy said.

"Ok, name it?!" The Colonel replied.

"One what time is it? And two would you be willing to walk with me back to my room?" Jeremy asked because he was supposed to meet his mother at 3:00 so that they could get the results of the latest MRI.

"The time is 1430. And I will walk with you back to your room." The Colonel thought that these were two simple requests that he could do. The two men walked back to the hospital room, when they got there Denise was waiting patiently. Before the Colonel or Denise could speak, Jeremy said,

"Hi, Mom."

The Colonel looked at Denise and waved his hand in front of Jeremy's eyes, and said,

"How did you know that Denise was here?" The Colonel asked in amazement.

"Mom, has been wearing Cool Water for as long as I can remember, and every time she is around I smell her perfume. Really, sir I cannot see a thing, no lights, no shadows, nothing, but I do know that you waved your hand in front my face." Jeremy just smiled.

"How did you know that I waved my hand?" The Colonel was intrigued.

"Because you were standing right next to me and I felt the movement near my face." Jeremy smiled again.

"That is interesting. I had heard that once you lose one sense the others pick up the slack." The Colonel continued.

"Sir, I do not know about that. I think it is more that I have to be somewhat more observant of my surrounding, whether it is through sound or motion." Jeremy spoke in an informative tone.

"Interesting, Jeremy, thank you for telling me what happened with Amanda last night. And I do agree with your assessment. Denise, thank you again for the desert last night… is was very good." The Colonel said.

"Oh, you are more than welcome. Please tell Claudia Joy I will give her a call later." Denise replied.

"I will, and Jeremy…" The Colonel saluted, and Jeremy figured as much so he saluted as well.

"Good Bye, Sir." With that the Colonel left the room.

"So Jeremy, how did the conversation go?" Denise asked as a concerned mother would.

"It was fine. Colonel Holden just wanted to know what happened last night with Amanda." Jeremy was getting very tired of talking about this subject.

"Ok, how is your knee doing?" Denise asked because she sensed that it hurt a lot more than Jeremy was letting on.

"Mom, it hurts. I am not sure why." Jeremy responded. His knee hurt more than it had in several weeks. Steve did not say anything about any swelling or lack of mobility during physical therapy, but they were heading to Dr. Bartley's office for the results of the MRI.


	19. It Just Never Stops

Chapter 19—

A/N: I would greatly appreciate some ideas… as I am running out of them again…. Please help.

_"Mom, it hurts. I am not sure why." Jeremy responded. His knee hurt more than it had in several weeks. Steve did not say anything about any swelling or lack of mobility during physical therapy, but they were heading to Dr. Bartley's office for the results of the MRI._

But of course, Jeremy never really said anything to Steve about the soreness, and the stiffness of his knee. All they talked about was Amanda, and his life, nothing about the knee. Actually, Jeremy had just thought that he may have over done everything yesterday and this morning. Denise led Jeremy to Dr. Bartley's office. Dr. Bartley was the orthopedic physician that was assigned to Jeremy's medical team when he arrived home. A team of doctors had been assembled to help Jeremy, as he was in very rough shape when he came home. However, Dr. Bartley and Dr. Steinbach had been the primary physicians.

Dr. Bartley had taken a much more quiet approach to Jeremy. Dr. Steinbach was more gregarious than Dr. Bartley. Dr. Bartley believed in more of hands off approach where the patient and his family would allow for the healing process. Both doctors were well respected in their particular specialties, however neither doctor liked the others bedside manner.

Denise and Jeremy walked into Dr. Bartley's office. His office was very different than Dr. Steinbach's; instead of the elegance that Denise saw in Dr. Steinbach's office, there was a high level of practicality in Dr. Bartley's office. The desk was oak with a number of pictures of his family. There was sports memorabilia on the walls. Jeremy and Denise stood in the office waiting for Dr. Bartley. Finally, about five minutes after 3 Dr. Bartley walked in.

"I am sorry that I am late… I was with a patient. Why don't you have a seat?" Dr. Bartley said in his very southern accent.

Denise guided Jeremy to the chairs in front of the doctor's desk. As the doctor sat down he opened the file on his desk. Denise assumed that the doctor was looking at Jeremy's file.

"As you know I have received the results of the MRI from this morning… and they have me more than a bit concerned." The doctor said with his eyebrow raised.

"Dr. Bartley, why are you concerned? I thought that my knee was getting better." Jeremy said in amazement, because up until that morning he felt good about the knee.

"Jeremy, healing is going on, but from what I see on the MRI is some scar tissue forming right around here." Dr. Bartley said a he was pointing to a section of a knee on a diagram that was on his desk.

"Doctor…." Jeremy said trying to make him realize that he could not begin to see what he was pointing to.

"Ah, yes of course." The doctor was a little bit embarrassed as to his lack of sensitivity.

"What are you trying to say doctor?" Denise asked with irritation in her voice.

"I actually see two problems, one being there is significant scar tissue forming around the original injury, and the second issue I see is Jeremy has an infection in the knee. From the looks of it, it is a relatively new infection, but a rapidly growing one." Dr. Bartley finally said.

"Ok, what are we going to do about it?" Denise asked trying to sound more like a mother than a nurse.

"Well, right now my major concern is to clear up the infection. I would like to put Jeremy on IV antibiotics, which Jeremy you are going to need to stay in the hospital a bit longer and you are going to need to stay off of your knee as much as you can. I am hopeful that once we get rid of the infection the swelling in the scar tissue may go down, and we can deal with that accordingly.

"Doctor, I understand the seriousness of an infection, but is there something you are not telling me? And what caused the infection?" Jeremy sensed that there was something that the doctor was not saying… and that concerned him.

"I am not totally sure what caused the infection, but infections sometimes occur in patients that have a lot of hardware in their joints. As you and your mother are well aware of, when you injured your knee there was a lot of shrapnel, remnants of a bullet, basically a lot of very severe damage. Unfortunately, when the original surgery was done metal screws and plates were used to put your knee together. However, the immune systems do not always like that many foreign objects and infections are more prevalent. Patients who have joint surgery are at risk for developing infections of the hardware of the joints. Bacteria can travel through the bloodstream and attach to joints. Once bacteria have found the joints, the body's immune defense has a difficult time fighting the infection." The doctor explained clinically.

"Ok, I understand all of that, but I still sense there is something else." Jeremy replied trying to understand what the doctor did not want to tell him.

"Look, Jeremy there is a possibility that if cannot clear up the infection relatively quickly, that I am going to have to go back in and remove the hardware, and pretty much start over with the reconstruction of the knee. And if I do that you will probably lose the majority of the mobility of the knee. And I really do not want to do that, as you have made tremendous progress in regaining the mobility of your knee." The doctor explained; the tone of his voice changed from a clinical physician to a very concerned person.

"Dr. Bartley, so how soon are we going to start the antibiotics? And what is the actual course of treatment?" Denise had been listening, but wanted to let Jeremy deal with talking to the doctor, but she finally saw the need to step in.

"I would like to start Jeremy on IV antibiotics right away. I would also like to put him in a knee immobilizer, just to ensure there is limited motion, and I want to stress to the both of you that Jeremy needs to have very limited movement in his knee, as I do not want the infection to spread. Yes, Jeremy, you are going to lose some of the mobility that you have worked so hard to regain. But hopefully, with the antibiotics we can clear up the infection and not have to worry about surgery." The doctor tried to sound reassuring.

"So how much longer am I going to be in the hospital?" Jeremy asked, as he was looking forward to going home.

" I would have to say between 2-4 weeks to clear up the infection. And if we have to do surgery we are looking at 6-12 weeks minimum." The doctor grimaced at the thought of everything that Jeremy had endured in the past few months. This kid, the doctor thought, has been wounded in the line of duty, a bullet wound to the knee and reconstructive surgery, an explosion to the face that leaves him completely blind, a massive seizure that took weeks to recover from, and now a very serious infection to the knee, this kid just needed a break.

After the conversation ended, Denise and Jeremy went back to the hospital room. Jeremy had followed the doctor's orders and went back into the room via a wheelchair. Shortly after he returned to the room a nurse came in and started the IV antibiotics. While she was there, she also helped Jeremy change the knee brace he was wearing to the immobilizer that the doctor had prescribed. The immobilizer did not allow Jeremy to bend his knee at all. When the nurse left, Jeremy looked in the direction that his mother was standing, and still not seeing her, and said,

"Mom… why is all of this happening?" Jeremy was frustrated… he was confused; he was upset that something else happened.

"Honey I do not know. I am sure you are frustrated, but you will be fine… I am sure of it." Actually Denise was not sure of anything at this point in time. Jeremy had endured a lot in the recent months, but she never thought that he would get an infection that could ultimately rob him of the mobility of his knee.

"Mom, can you call Dad and tell him?" Jeremy asked. Denise was a bit surprised at the request as Frank and Jeremy had never been very close; in fact it had been her and Jeremy that had been close.

"Yeah, I will. In fact he was going to be my next call. I will call him now." Denise said, searching for her cell phone in her purse.

"Mom, I have been awake since about 330 this morning… would you mind if I slept for awhile? I am very tired." Jeremy asked… and he was very tired.

"No, that is actually that is a good idea, it will help to rest with the antibiotics. I will come back later… if you need anything call me on my cell, ok?" Denise said.

"I will." Jeremy said as Denise walked out into the hallway. Now she was having the same thought that Jeremy was… why was this happening? She flipped open her pink cell phone and hit Frank's cell number, and she let it ring four times and then she heard,

"Major Sherwood." Frank officially said.

"Frank, its Denise." Denise said, as she realized that Frank had neglected to look at the caller ID on the cell phone.

"Hi, where are you?" Frank's tone changed from the Army Frank to the family Frank.

"Well I just left Jeremy's room at the hospital… it does not look like he is going to be coming home any time soon." Denise replied.

"Why… did something happen?" Frank sounded concerned.

Denise then explained the whole situation from the scar tissue to the infection, and what would happen if they could not get the infection cleared up quickly. Frank became irritated, not because Jeremy or Denise had done anything wrong, but that Jeremy just could not seem to get a break. The two of them talked for a couple of more minutes, and they both decided that they would meet at home in an hour.

Denise said good-bye to Frank and walked back into Jeremy's room. She saw him, and he was fast asleep… and he looked at peace for the moment. She turned around and walked out because she did not want to wake Jeremy, because the best thing for him at the moment was sleep, and to let the antibiotics take hold on the infection.

As Denise walked to the car, she saw Roland. He waved to her, and she smiled. She and Roland had been friends ever since he and his wife Lt Colonel Burton had joined the post five years ago. Roland was a highly respected Psychiatrist specializing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD), who also worked at the hospital. He and his wife had recently separated, and a divorce was imminent. They had been together for over twenty years, but there was not much holding the marriage together.

Roland came up to Denise, and asked,

"How is Jeremy?"

Denise told him almost the same thing that she told Frank. She explained the infection, and the course of treatment, and how tired and frustrated she was. Roland like always lent a sympathic ear, and offered,

"Jeremy, how is he taking all of this?"

"I do not know, he was tired, and I know that he is frustrated… but is attitude is not bad, in fact this is just another set back for him, and he is dealing with it."

"You look like I need to call an emergency meeting of the Army Wives?" Roland said with a smile, hoping that he would want to spend sometime with her friends.

"You know that does sound like a good idea… but not tonight." Denise smiled, as the meetings of the Army Wives club was often away to blow off some much needed steam.

"Ok, then I will plan it for Friday night… you know in two days from now?" Roland was glad that Denise had taken him up on the offer.

"Roland, thank you. I do not mean to be rude, but I need to meet Frank at home in about 20 minutes…" Denise said looking at her watch.

"No problem… I will call Roxy, Claudia Joy, and Pamela at set up the meeting." Roland said flipping open his cell phone.

"Thanks Roland." Denise said as she got in the car and drove away. She got home just as Frank was pulling in the drive way.

Frank got out of the car and just looked at his wife. She was a beautiful woman Frank thought, but he knew the stress level she was carrying was high. The look on her face when she got out of the car just said it all… she was tired, angry, sad, mad, and very frustrated. And there was nothing that they could do about it. Frank let Denise fall into his arms, and he just held her.


	20. Infection

Chapter 20—

A/N: I hope everyone is liking the story this far… I would greatly appreciate any ideas. Please advise.

It had been a couple of days since Jeremy had been diagnosed with the infection in his knee. He had been under heavy doses of antibiotics, several times a day, which usually left him very tired and quiet. Dr. Bartley had demanded that Jeremy not do a lot of walking, because he wanted to keep the knee and the leg elevated; so that forced Jeremy to stay in bed with the leg elevated. Jeremy had never been a person that liked to sit still; he had always been an active person. It had only been a couple of days, but Jeremy was still feeling like a caged animal; a caged blind animal. Everything he would have done in the past; he could not do now without sight. He could have read a book, but he had not learned Braille yet. He could have played a computer game or a video game, but it is hard to drive an electronic race car when you cannot see. Jeremy was bored stiff. The only excitement that he had in the past couple of days included: when the nurse came in to change the IV bag and check on him, when he received a visit from anyone, and listening to his IPOD.

Frank and Denise came to visit every chance they got. Colonel Holden and Claudia Joy came to visit; unfortunately Amanda did not come with them. Jeremy knew that he had hurt Amanda; even though that was not his intent. It was going to take time for Amanda to come to terms with the decision that Jeremy had made. In time, Jeremy believed that the friendship would always be there. Jeremy found it difficult to talk to Colonel Holden. In the past Jeremy had seen Colonel Holden as a father figure, especially when his own father was away, but that was before Jeremy had enlisted. Now, Jeremy was a soldier and Colonel Holden was a senior officer. Colonel Holden was no longer a father figure, but someone in authority.

Jeremy was lying in bed wishing he could get up and walks around, but he had made a commitment to Dr. Bartley that he would not try to walk on the infected leg. Actually when he did try to walk (on the very rare occasion) there was a lot of pain and pressure on the knee. Also it was very difficult to walk with the immobilizer, as the immobilizer did not allow any bending of the knee.

Frank and Denise decided to surprise their son. They knew that Jeremy was going stir crazy in his room alone, so they decided to convince Amanda to come and talk to him. She was still pretty hurt by his words, but she knew that he needed a friend at this time.

Jeremy was half listening to his IPOD when he heard a knock on the door. He thought it was the night nurse, telling him that she was coming in, so Jeremy responded accordingly,

"Carol, if that is you, just change the IV…" Jeremy was trying to be sarcastic. The nursing staff liked Jeremy, as he really did not let this set back turn him angry. They just knew he was tired, and ready to start a new life.

"Jeremy… um… it's not Carol." Amanda said quietly walking into the room.

"Amanda… what are you doing here?" Jeremy questioned with surprise; as Amanda was the last person he expected to visit him.

"Hello, to you, too." Amanda said.

"Sorry, you are the last person I expected." Jeremy admitted.

"I know… but I thought I should come and talk to you before I leave." Amanda said.

"What do you mean…'before you leave'?" Jeremy secretly knew that she was heading off to college, and that is what he wanted for her.

"After our talk the other night… I realized that I have to get out of here. I still want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me. It is your pride and ego getting in the way. But there is some truth to the fact that I need to have my own experiences. My dad told me that he came and talked to you." Amanda was biting her lip.

"He did… and I think that he was glad that I wanted you to have a life beyond me." Jeremy said quietly.

"Wait a minute are you saying all this to win my dad's approval?" Amanda asked, hoping that is not why that Jeremy pushing her away.

"Of course not… I was never looking for your dad's approval. Look, I think the world of you, and I love you, but right now I cannot give you the life that you deserve. Amanda, look at me, I have been here in the hospital for months. I am, and I have come to terms with that, sort of, but I have been in a controlled environment, I have no idea what the real world is like for a blind ex-soldier. I know that I have a future, but it not as defined as yours. I am not saying that we can never be more than friends, but we are 19 years old." Jeremy said feeling a headache coming on.

"Jeremy, I know what you are saying… and I think that I understand. When Dad and I talked, he made me realize you have to find your own life, which may or may not be with me. But that does not mean that we cannot be friends." Amanda said with a sigh of relief. She had practiced this monologue many times.

"I am glad that you understand. I am also very happy that you are going to college… I wish you all the best." Jeremy said with a pained smile. He truly was happy that she had made the right choice, but he was still going to miss her.

Amanda stepped closer, and gave Jeremy a small kiss on the cheek. She touched his cheek, and then stepped away, and said,

"Jeremy, are you ok?" Amanda was concerned, because Jeremy felt very warm.

"No not really… I have so many antibiotics being pumped into me, that I feel very tired. Why?" Jeremy was not feeling very good, but again he assumed that it was from all the things that were going into his body.

"Because you are very flushed, and you feel pretty warm… do you have a fever?" Amanda asked.

Right at that moment, a nurse walked in and noticed the same thing that Amanda did. The nurse quickly took Jeremy's temperature… it was 101.4 degrees. The nurse immediately contacted the doctor. The doctor was even more concerned with this latest development in Jeremy's condition.

Amanda had left by the time that Denise and Frank arrived at the hospital for their nightly visit with Jeremy. They were both surprised when they walked into his room to find Dr. Bartley, and a couple nurses probing Jeremy.

"What is going on here?" Denise questioned.

"Major and Mrs. Sherwood, may I have a word with you in the hall please?" Dr. Bartley asked.

The three of them walked into the hallway, and Dr Bartley started to explain,

"Jeremy, spiked a fever of over 100… 101.4 in fact. This could be a good sign based on the fact this is the body's way of fighting of an infection. However, I believe that Jeremy is also having an allergic reaction to one type antibiotic. The reason that I know this is because of the shingles on his chest."

"Oh my God, this cannot get much worse." Denise said knowing full well that it could get worse.

"Mrs. Sherwood, I am sorry, Denise… we have given Jeremy a significant dosage of Benadryl to help with the shingles, and I have prescribed a low dosage of aspirin to bring down the fever. Finally I have also given him mild sedative to get him to rest. Again the fever could be a good thing, as that is the body's way of fighting the infection."

"Doctor, is there anything that we can do?" Frank said shaking his head in disbelief. He could not believe that this was happening.

"No not really… if you would like to stay with him, that is fine." Doctor Bartley said as we walked back into the room.

Denise looked at Frank and suggested that she stay with Jeremy. Frank would not hear of it.

"Dee, you need to get some sleep, I will stay with the boy. Besides you have to be back here at 0600 tomorrow morning to work. Please go home and get some sleep." Frank was firm; Denise was exhausted.

"Frank, you need sleep too. And besides I can stay here, and get some sleep, and be here for work in the morning." Denise was tired but it still made sense to her to stay here at the hospital.

"Look… go home and sleep in our bed, please." At that point, Denise was too tired to argue any further. She agreed to go home. Denise kissed Frank good night, and walked away. Frank on the other hand walked in to the room and took a seat next to Jeremy's bed, where he was sleeping. The nurses and doctors left; and Frank leaned back in the chair and dosed off. He was awaken by Jeremy's voice,

"Dad, is that you?" Jeremy said quietly.

"Yeah, Jeremy it is me." Frank said with a groggy tone.

"I am sorry if I woke you." Jeremy apologized.

"Do not worry about it, son. Is there something that you need?" Frank asked willing to get anything that Jeremy needed.

"Water?" Jeremy asked. Frank quickly poured the water that was on the table in a small cup and put it in Jeremy's hands. Jeremy quickly drank it down, and replied.

"Thanks… Dad, I am sorry." Jeremy said in a low voice.

"Sorry for what?!" Frank asked not knowing what Jeremy was thinking.

"I am sorry that I have put you through all of this. I feel like I am being punished because of what I did to Mom. I am sorry." Jeremy replied almost in tears.

"Son, we have put that behind us you are a different man now. This is not a punishment for anything." Frank was a little surprised at Jeremy's reaction.


	21. Advise

Chapter 21—

A/N: As always the feedback I have been receiving is greatly appreciated… please continue.

The following weeks left Jeremy emotionally and physically drained. Every time that the fever would break a day or so later the fever would spike again. The infection in Jeremy's knee finally stabilized, but unfortunately Dr. Bartley had to take some extreme measures. The doctor was forced to do what he dreaded. He had to go back in surgerically and remove much of the hardware in Jeremy's knee. By removing the hardware the infection got better. Even though removing the hardware helped to heal the infection, there was another issue removing the hardware forced the doctor to reconstruct Jeremy's knee again; causing more loss of mobility. The doctor was not sure if Jeremy would ever regain enough mobility not to have to walk with a cane or a limp. This situation caused Jeremy to be even more frustrated than he was previously. But he did not give up; he still gave it all that he had in physical therapy to regain any and all mobility in the knee.

Jeremy was also able during this time to start some more intensive occupational therapy. Denise had contacted the staff at the 'New Vision Institute', an organization that works with wounded veterans to help them transition back into the mainstream. The staff at 'New Vision' took a proactive approach, meaning that they often use other wounded veterans of the program to help teach others. This approach often helped the current patients learn coping skills from others who had been in similar situation. Jeremy had been paired up with a young lady who had been injured in Afghanistan about two years ago. Stephanie had bee in a medical evacuation unit.

The evacuation unit ended up being in a dog fight on the ground and she was hit in the lower spine, and suffered a partial spinal cord injury, which left her confined to a wheelchair. It was surprising but Jeremy and Stephanie had become fast friends. This was the first time that Jeremy had someone he could really talk to about what his feelings about being injured. Granted, neither Stephanie nor Jeremy had similar injures, but there was still a common bond. This bond greatly helped Jeremy's disposition.

Jeremy had also decided to learn Braille. This was very difficult for him, but he understood that he had to learn it, because he wanted to go to college… and he was going to need every tool that he had to get there, and to get the work done.

One day Stephanie came into Jeremy's room and said,

"Sherwood, you and I are getting out of here for while, are you ready?"

"Excuse me? What do you mean we are getting out of here?" Jeremy was perplexed.

"You have been in this room so long… that I thought you would like to see more the worlds… ok perhaps see is the wrong word. I know that you can walk, so grab your cane and we will get out of here." Stephanie said with a certain amount of energy that Jeremy had not felt in a while.

"But… um…where are we going?" Jeremy asked as he reached for his cane. Even though he had lost mobility in his knee, he still wore a very durable knee brace to at least add stability to the knee, and with the brace he was able to walk with a very heavy limp.

"Well, I thought that I would take you out for lunch, and I thought we could talk about you going to college." Stephanie was about seven years older than Jeremy. She too had joined the Army to escape from her family, but she had also joined the Army to get a college education. Stephanie was from a small rural town in Arkansas, where a girl either got pregnant or married, and sometimes pregnancy did not always followed marriage. Stephanie had wanted more out of life, she had dreamed of one day becoming a doctor, but she selected to be a chemistry major so that one day she could continue to go to medical school. But she opted to be in a medical unit in Afghanistan, and the rest is history.

Stephanie's injuries to her spine devastated her, but with some help from a mentor from the 'New Vision Institute' she was able to learn to cope with her challenges, and with that she was waiting for the opportunity to go back to school. However, she had vowed that she would help someone else to learn those same life skills.

Stephanie and Jeremy walked down the corridor of the hospital. Every step Jeremy took sent pain through his leg, but he has become accustom to the pain. Jeremy was getting antsy to go home again, which in all likelihood would be a week or so. As Stephanie and Jeremy walked through the hallway Stephanie sensed there was something on Jeremy's mind.

"OK, Sherwood, spill it!" Stephanie said.

"What are you talking about?" Jeremy asked knowing very well that Stephanie knew he was thinking about something.

"Come on Sherwood… I know that there is something on your mind… and I do not think it is about your knee, or your eyes. Seriously what is going on?" Stephanie asked sincerely.

"Well, Mom got an email from Amanda yesterday. Mom thought that I would like to know how Amanda was doing in college." Jeremy admitted.

"AND?" Stephanie asked.

"She was having fun. Amanda said that school was hard, but she was learning a lot. And she had found someone. She really likes her classes. And from the sounds of it she is happy." Jeremy said.

"Ok, so the problem that you are having is that she is dating someone?" Stephanie was good at getting to the root of the problem; she was a very direct person, which had gotten her into some trouble in her life.

"I would not say that it is a problem… what I would say is…" Jeremy was not sure as to how to describe his feelings.

"She has moved on with her life, and you still have feelings for her, and even though you told her that she needs to go experience life, you still feel that you two could still be more than friends? How close am I?" Stephanie hit the nail on the head… that is exactly the way that Jeremy was feeling… but there was something else.

"You are close. However, I guess I dislike being my limbo life at the moment. She had gone off and discovered a life, while I have been here in the hospital always recovering from something." Jeremy replied. Stephanie knew these feelings well. Before her injury, she had been engaged to be married, and she too had taken the road letting her finance leave the relationship to find a new life. She had spent months in the hospital and rehab as well, learning how to cope with life with her own physical challenges.

"Jeremy, you have gone through a lot over the past months. Lets see, you were injured in the line of duty, you came home to recover from a knee injury, you learned that you will be blind, you had a massive seizure, you started to learn how to cope with the situations, you basically dumped your girlfriend, you had an infection that could have killed you, and you had surgery that made you lose some of the mobility you had worked hard for… umm… if that is limbo… Jeremy what are you expecting?" Stephanie certainly knew how to put things in perspective.

"What do you mean…'what am I expecting'?" Jeremy asked, as he was confused.

"What I mean is… cut yourself some slack. You have been through a lot, and frankly you have come out it better than a lot of people would. All those months ago when you let Amanda go; you made a choice, and I am not going to tell you if that was right or wrong, it was a choice. However, what is it that you want? Believe me it will take time, and you should be happy that Amanda has moved on." Stephanie certainly had a way with words.

"I am happy that Amanda moved on, but I just cannot help but think… that I would like to get on with my life, as well… am I making any sense?" Jeremy was having trouble articulating what he was trying to say.

"No you are not making sense… but I think I understand." Stephanie said with a laugh.

"What is so funny?" Jeremy asked.

"You are… do you realize that you just left the hospital, and we are walking to lunch? And you have not once mentioned that your knee hurt?" There was a little restaurant around the corner from the hospital that Stephanie and Jeremy had walked to. The restaurant was a favorite of Stephanie's, because it was quiet and it was easy to maneuver through with a wheelchair.

"Come on… I am not that big of a basket case about my knee. Am I?" Jeremy asked becoming a bit self conscious.

"No you really are not. I just like to give you a hard time." Stephanie said with a smile. They were quickly seated at a table in the back of the restaurant.

"So what is good here?" Jeremy said flipping through the plastic menu like he was actually able to read it.

"Jeremy, you are such a goof." At this point they were both laughing.

"Stephanie it is good to see you again… who is the guy?" The waitress said as she came up to take their orders.

"Thanks Meg, it is just a guy I picked up at the rehab center… you know I like 'em challenged." Stephanie said with a laugh.

"Hi, I am Jeremy… the challenged one." Jeremy said playing with his cane. His smile made Stephanie happy to see.

"Jeremy it is nice to meet you… Stephanie is a regular here… but usually she is alone." Meg, the waitress said.

"Meg could give us a few more minutes… as I have to read the menu to my friend." Stephanie said.

"No problem, I will be back in a few minutes." Meg said walking away.

"Ok… I recommend the turkey and bacon sandwich with homemade chips, and a diet coke." Stephanie said.

"Ok… is that all they have on the menu?" Jeremy asked wondering if there would be something that he liked better.

"Trust me… its good…" Stephanie said reassuringly.

"Fine… a turkey and bacon sandwich it is." Jeremy agreed.

Meg came back over and took their order. Stephanie and Jeremy kept talking about everything, from music, to friends, and their challenges. Then Jeremy touched a nerve when he mentioned her family.

"So when are your parents coming to visit?" Jeremy asked knowing that Stephanie was dreading their visit. Stephanie had not had the kind of relationship with her parents that she would have liked. Her parents had not understood why that she wanted to stay in South Carolina, and not come home. This had been an issue of contention for her parents for a number of years. They never understood why Stephanie had joined the Army.

Growing up in rural Arkansas was troubling at best for Stephanie. Stephanie never liked being confined to one very small town; where the most excitement that there was going to Wal-mart a few towns over. Furthermore, Stephanie knew people that loved that life, and that included her parents. She knew she wanted more, and she needed more, that is why she joined the Army… it was her way out. After she got hurt, her parents did everything they could to get her come back to the same rural town that once stifled her, but she just could not do it. She wanted to finish her education, and create a life for herself. This had caused a great argument between her and her parents. In fact for almost a year, they rarely spoke. It was not until recently that the lines of communication had been opened, by her parents. This explains their upcoming visit.

"In about ten days, shortly after you go home from the hospital. I am dreading it. My mother is going to look at my apartment and have all kinds of comments like, you pay how much for this place, and if you come home you could save that money. Or dad will say, well are you sure that you are safe in this place, as I have read that women in wheelchairs are more likely to get mugged. Or something like that." Stephanie said mimicking her mother's and father's voices.

"Oh, come on… it will not be that bad. Besides they are only going be here for a couple of days! Your parents cannot be that bad. They do care about you… you may not realize it, but I think they only want what is best for you." Jeremy was trying to be reassuring.

Meg put the plates with the sandwiches and chips in front of Jeremy and Stephanie. Jeremy was hungry, so he dug in to his sandwich.

"Actually this is very good!" Jeremy said shoving the food into his mouth.

"I told you so." Stephanie said with a smile. Stephanie liked Jeremy, he was a good guy who had been dealt an odd hand, but she had the feeling that he was going to do well.

They finished their lunch and headed back to the hospital. When they got back to Jeremy's room Denise was waiting for them. Before Denise could say anything….

"Hi Mom, Stephanie took me out for lunch." Jeremy said.

"Some day, I am going to change my perfume, just to through you off." Denise laughed.

"Hi, Stephanie." Denise continued.

"Hello, Mrs. Sherwood." Stephanie said.

"Please call me Denise, Mrs. Sherwood makes me feel older than I am." Denise liked the change in Jeremy; he seemed a bit more at ease with himself since he met Stephanie.

"Ok, hi Denise." Stephanie replied.

"So how was lunch?" Denise asked

"It was good… the food was good, and so was the company." Jeremy replied.

"I can imagine. So Stephanie, Jeremy mentioned that your parents are coming to visit soon, you must be looking forward to seeing them." Denise knew that this was not the case, because Jeremy had told her as much.

"No ma'am, I am not really looking forward to them at all." Stephanie frowned.

"Why is that?" Denise questioned.

"My parents and I do not always get along, and they keep telling me that I am wrong to stay here." Stephanie replied.

"And you do not agree?"

"No… I like it here. I have a lot of opportunities here that I would not have back home." Stephanie was hoping that Denise would understand.

"But anyway… I need to find some stuff for them to do while they are here. They will be here in about 10 days, do you have any ideas?" Stephanie asked Denise and Jeremy.

"Well… how about if I have dinner party for you and your parents? You have done so much for Jeremy it is the least I can do… and besides Jeremy will be going home in a few days… and I like to cook." Denise offered.

"You do not have to do that!" Stephanie said, as she thought it was very generous offer.

"I want to. Frank and I would love to have you and your parents over for dinner. I will not take no for answer." Denise said.

"OK." Stephanie was very surprised at Denise's offer. Perhaps this visit would not be as bad as she thought… she was going to share her parents with the Sherwoods for the night, this would definitely take some pressure off… or so she hoped.

"


	22. Welcome HOme

Chapter 22—

A/N: Again special thanks for all the reviews. I never expected to be on to chapter 22. But I am enjoying myself and I hope all of you enjoy reading this as much as I do writing it. Please keep the reviews coming.

Jeremy was very excited but anxious to go home. He knew that his parents were also looking forward to having Jeremy home. Jeremy had made a commitment with himself to getting ready to go to college. He and Stephanie had devised a plan where he would take a class or two at a local community college, just to get his feet wet. However they had both agreed that he still needed to wait a couple of months before attending college, as he needed time to be in the 'real world'. He had been in a very controlled environment at the hospital for a long time, and it would do him good to become accumulated to being in a non-controlled environment.

The relationship between Stephanie and Jeremy grew stronger everyday, but there were no romantic feelings between them. The relationship grew because Stephanie needed Jeremy has much as he needed her. Jeremy needed Stephanie because he needed to be able to rely on someone who was not his parents or his parents' friends. Stephanie was one of the first people that did not know him before he was blind. She was patient with him. Stephanie needed Jeremy because she had shut herself off from her family for so long that there had not been many people that she could talk to about life, about the Army, about anything.

Jeremy was sitting in the back seat of his parents' SUV on the ride home from the hospital. Denise and Frank were talking about some dinner party that they had to go to or something like that. Jeremy's mind was somewhere else. His mind was on Stephanie, and her obsessive nature about her parents' upcoming visit. The stories that Stephanie had told him, were sad. She never felt like she lived up to her parents expectations. Stephanie had told Jeremy, that she felt like she had failed her parents, especially when she had gotten hurt. Jeremy had not known what to say, because he had had the same feelings of not living up to expectations, and he admitted to Stephanie that he had hit is mother. He assured her that he had changed… and she accepted that.

"Jeremy, we are home son." Frank said breaking Jeremy's thought.

"I am glad to be here." Jeremy said as he gingerly stepped out of the SVU. The doctors were very surprised how well his knee had healed, and how much mobility that he actually regained in such a short time. Granted his knee would never be back to normal, but there were drastic improvement.

Jeremy opened his cane and started walking to the front door of the house. Frank opened the door, and…

"Surprise." A large group of people yelled.

"Welcome home, Son, Welcome Home!" Frank said; helping Jeremy to maneuver through the crowd of people in the Sherwoods home.

"Wow, thanks every one. I never expected this." Jeremy said. He wondered if Stephanie was here, and then all of the sudden he heard the rubber of the tires of Stephanie's wheel chair squeak on the hardwood floors of the home.

"Stephanie? Is that you?" Jeremy asked, glad that Stephanie was here. She would save him from all the well wishers. It was not that Jeremy did not appreciate the welcome home party, but he was hoping for a quiet low-key home coming.

"Why yes it is. Welcome home, Sherwood." Stephanie said in her usual southern accent.

"Thanks… why did you not tell me about the party?" Jeremy asked.

"One, because it would not have been a surprise. And two, I just found out about it a couple of days ago." Stephanie replied. At that point Frank came up behind Stephanie and grabbed a hold of the handles, and said,

"Well, what Stephanie is not telling you is this was her idea."

"Not really Major Sherwood… it was a team effort." Stephanie smiled.

"Stephanie, are you ever going to call me Frank?" Frank asked because in the last month or so Frank had gotten to know this incredibly energetic woman, who had a special place in the Sherwood family.

"I am sorry, sir, you can take the soldier out of the Army, but you cannot take the Army out of the soldier. But in your case, I will try." Stephanie loved being around Denise, but Frank made her very uneasy, not because Frank was not a nice guy, but he was still Army. Stephanie had great respect for the traditions, the job, and the customs of the Army. She always knew that despite being injured in the field, she would always be part of the Army.

At this point the party patrons had divided up into their clicks. The Army Wives or rather the 'tribe' in one corner. And the Army personnel in another click, leaving Stephanie and Jeremy sitting together at the kitchen table talking.

"So Sherwood welcome home. How do you feel?" Stephanie asked.

"I am glad to be home… I just wish that this was not a party." Jeremy said quietly, trying to make sure that know one else would hear that comment.

"Why… all these people are here to see you." Stephanie said with a little twinge of guilt for suggesting the party.

"Please do not miss understand me… it is very nice that there are this many people who care about me. It is just I cannot see them, and I have found it difficult to follow a conversation with more than 2 people. And also these are my parents' friends, not mine. But I am glad that you are here." Jeremy said, trying to take the guilt that Stephanie was feeling away.

"Well Sherwood, you are home. What are you going to do now?" Stephanie was fishing for something, but Jeremy did not know what.

"I really do not know. I thought that I would try to learn my way around here." Jeremy said knowing this was the wrong thing to say to Stephanie.

"Sherwood, you are such a goof. It will take you two days to figure your way out around the house. Then what?! Are you going to sit in your room and mope?!" Stephanie had been around Jeremy long enough to know that he was past the moping stage of the recovery. She was being a little hard on Jeremy at the moment, which really was not fair, as did have a number of things that he had to do.

"Stephanie… I am long past the stage of crawling in a corner and never coming out. Honestly I thought that I would start looking into some college classes. The question that I should be asking is you is… when are you going to take the MCAT?" Jeremy knew how to throw it back to Stephanie. Stephanie had been procrastinating taking the entrance exam for medical school for about 6 months.

"Hey hold on… we were talking about you…NOT me." Stephanie said trying to change the subject.

"Well the door is opened now… what is your plan?"" Jeremy asked, but luckily for Stephanie, Frank and Denise were coming over to the table.

"You two look like you are having a very serious discussion over here…" Frank noticed.

"Not really, sir, um… we were just talking about planning for the future." Stephanie said again trying to change the subject.

"Which brings up a good point… is there something special that you would like me to make for your parents, when they come to dinner on Saturday night?" Denise asked sensing that Stephanie was trying to change the subject from something else.

"Again, you really do not have to make dinner for my parents and me. I am sure that I can find entertainment for them… other than watching Jeremy, here, um… walk around without a cane." Stephanie said with a laugh. Jeremy loved how she could take a very serious subject and turn it into something funny.

"Stephanie, I agree it would be funny and entertaining for you to watch me walk around without a cane…which by the way, I would not think it would be funny. Mom really wants to make dinner for you and your parents." Jeremy said.

"I really want to make dinner… again is there anything special that you would like for me to make?" Denise asked again.

"I am sure that any thing you make is good. Again thank you for the offer."


	23. The Arrival

Chapter 23—

A/N: Thanks for everyone's support.

The day finally came and Stephanie was not looking forward to it. Her parents were about to arrive at her apartment. Her dad had called from his cell phone when they had left the airport. Stephanie had offered to pick them up from the airport, but her Dad had insisted that he did not trust Stephanie to drive.

Since Stephanie's injury, she has learned how to manage life from a wheelchair. She learned how to drive a car (of course the car it retrofitted for her.), how to care for herself, and how to cope with her day to day challenges. However, she feels like her parents see her as an invalid. Stephanie has come to grips with the fact that there will be things that she will never do, but that does not mean that her life is over. This had been a conversation that Stephanie's parents have had with her; as they just do not see what the capabilities of their daughter actually are. This is the argument that had to almost a year of not speaking to each other.

Stephanie still had her dreams of becoming a doctor, but her parents wanted to protect her from the world. This was an admirable sentiment, but Stephanie was going to live her life her way! She made the decision a long time ago. She often compared her parents to Jeremy's. Stephanie saw Frank and Denise as supportive parents; they allowed Jeremy to make his own choices, but they were still there to help him make the right choices. Stephanie felt very alone in the choice making department. All of a sudden there was a knock on the door, and Stephanie hit the button that automatically opened the door. Her mom and dad walked through the door, and Stephanie was sitting there waiting for them.

"Why, hi darlin'" Bill Sanders, Stephanie's father, said. He came up to her and gave her a big hug.

"Hi Daddy… welcome to South Carolina. How was your trip?" Stephanie asked with a fake smile. She watched her mother, Beth Sanders, walk through the door. Stephanie just knew that she was critiquing her apartment.

Stephanie's apartment was simple, but with a lot of space. She had two bedrooms, one that was a bedroom and one that was an office/bedroom. The apartment was tastefully decorated; nothing fancy, yet clean and well organized; just the way that Stephanie needed it to be.

"Well, the plane ride was very bumpy; I just do not know why we could not have driven." Beth said, with a scowl.

"Because it was cheaper for you 2 to fly." Stephanie had done the math and discovered with gas prices almost 3 dollars a gallon it was cheaper for her parents to fly than it was to drive.

"I guess, what lovely place you have here, but there are no pictures on the wall… why do you not have any pictures?" Beth said trying to make small talk, but it was not working it was already grading on Stephanie's nerves.

Bill and Beth walked around the apartment. Stephanie had offered them the guest room to put their things way and freshen up. The last time that Stephanie's parents were here to visit, Stephanie lived in a different apartment with a lot less space, and more difficult to move around. This apartment had been retrofitted by the previous tenant with all the necessities for someone who was in a wheelchair. The cabinets in the kitchen were low enough where Stephanie could easily reach things. The counter tops were lower as well. The bathroom even had the necessary accessibility bars to make it easier in the shower, and the toilet. There were many other features of the apartment that made life easier for Stephanie.

Beth and Bill walked out of the guest bedroom and in to the kitchen where Stephanie had fresh iced tea waiting for them. She finished pouring them each a glass, as it was customary in the south to serve iced tea. Stephanie thought she would try to make this a pleasant experience,

"So welcome… what do you think of my new place?" Stephanie knew this question would set off a chain reaction of questions and comments that she would not want to hear, but she was committed to making the effort.

"Is nice… but did you really need all that equipment in the bathroom? I mean have you not regained any movement, yet?" Beth said in her southern accent. Here we go Stephanie thought.

"Mom, that equipment makes things just a bit easier. And as I have explained before there was significant enough injury to my spine, that I will not regain the use of my legs." Stephanie was biting her tongue so hard, there were teeth marks.

"Well… I just thought…." Beth said when Bill cut her off.

"Ladies, before this becomes a session of a gun shooting blanks… let's talk like adults." Bill said, and if Stephanie could stand she would have fallen down in shock.

"Stephanie, you are probably wondering why we are here?!" Bill continued.

"Yeah, actually I am… wondering… I thought that you needed your yearly dosage of insulting me, or it that just Mom's job?" Stephanie finally allowed herself a snide comment.

"STEPHANIE…. I DID NOT RAISE MY DAUGHTER TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Beth scolded.

"Mom, since you walked in the door you had a negative comment about just about every thing…" Stephanie stopped before she said something that she would truly regret.

"Both of you… enough! Stephanie, we are here to see you. We have come to the realization that you are a very capable adult, and we really want you to be apart of your life. And we have been very wrong in trying to tell you what to do with your life. We cannot begin to image what your life has been like since your injury. However, I can honestly say that I am proud of everything that you have accomplished. I wish you would come home with us, but I can see that you are happy here, and I have to respect that." This was not the conversation that Stephanie had been prepared for.

"I certainly was not expecting that… thank you." Stephanie said taking a sip of iced tea to try to calm her nerves.

Stephanie watched as her mother was walking around the family room. Her mother stopped at the end table where there were two pictures in frames. One picture was of her and Jeremy. The other picture was of Frank, Denise and Jeremy. Both of the pictures were taken on the day that Jeremy came home. These pictures meant a lot to Stephanie, because in a very short time all three of them had become close. She treasured Denise's and Frank's wisdom, and she treasured Jeremy's friendship.

"Stephanie, who pray tell are these people? Is this boy your boyfriend? Do you not think that he is a little young for you?" Beth asked. The look on Bill's face was one of disbelief and horror. He just did not understand why his wife was acting like this.

Beth and Bill had been married for almost thirty years. They had raised three children, two girls and one boy. Stephanie was the youngest; and only five years separated Stephanie and her brother Alan. The oldest of the children was Sarah. Sarah was ten years older than Stephanie. Stephanie was always compared to Sarah, by her mother. Bill was the workaholic parent, who was rarely home.

"Mom, Jeremy is not my boyfriend; he is a wounded soldier that I have been working with at the center. Those other people are his parents. They have become friends of mine. In fact, we are going to their home for dinner. Denise invited us for dinner when she found out that you both were coming. I would greatly appreciate if you would be able to be nice this evening. Frank and Denise are very nice people. Denise is a nurse, and Frank is a Major in the Army." Stephanie was trying very hard to keep a civilized tone.

"How was Jeremy injured?" Bill stepped in, trying to not to have this blow up into a full out war.

"Jeremy was injured in an insurgence attack in Baghdad. He took a bullet to the knee, and he took an explosion to the face, actually he took the explosion to the eyes… he is blind. Before the explosion he pulled two soldiers out of the hum-ve, and he saved their lives." Stephanie explained.

"Stephanie, how is it that you always seem to bring home the stray cats and hope to nurse them back to health?" Beth just could not stop herself. It bothered Beth that Stephanie cared so much for others, but could not take care of her herself, or so Beth perceived.

"BETH… that is enough! Ever since we have walked in you have been doing nothing but insulting Stephanie. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! You and I have talked about this… we agreed that we both want to be apart of Stephanie's life… but you are never going to get there if you do not try." Bill scolded. Stephanie was still very surprised at her father's support.

"Look… I just hate to see Stephanie waste her life on someone who cannot give her a better life than she had." Beth was still shooting, and Stephanie was getting tired of playing nice.

"Mom, Jeremy is not my boyfriend. I am having a good life… I am enjoying what I am doing… I am getting ready to take my MCAT. I have a job right now, that I like… will I always work for "New Vision"… no, but I like what I am doing. I would appreciate the snide comments stopping, now. Because I do not want to subject the Sherwoods to this tonight… PLEASE?!" Stephanie was almost begging her mother to play nice.

"Stephanie, I just do not understand how you expect to go to medical school in your condition. From what I heard it is very physically demanding, and I just do no thing you can handle it." Beth said.

"Mom, look that is what you said about me joining the Army. I handled that fairly well. My injury affected my spine not my brain. I have accomplished a lot more than own sister has… she never even finished college before she got pregnant." Stephanie said pointedly.

"But the difference is that she has a family. I do not see you having a family… and can you even have children?" Beth asked.

"Is this what this all about me having children and having a family? Or rather you, having a grandchild from me?" Stephanie asked.

"I do not think that is what your mother means…" Bill chimed in.

"Actually, what I mean is… what is your plan 'B' if medical school does not pan out?" Beth asked, waiting to hear the come back.

"If I never get married and have a family… I am ok with that. You know full well that all of my life I have wanted to become a doctor. Look, I am starting to see that you are never going to understand… I know you think that I need someone to take care of me, but you know I take care of myself everyday. Do I wish I was not in this chair? Yes, but I am, and it took me a very long time to come to grips with that fact. If you cannot accept that… I am sorry." Stephanie said almost in tears, but she would not give her mother the satisfaction.

"You know what… I think we all need a break." Bill said.

"Dad, what need is to come to an understanding… I am a very capable person with limitations, but I will do everything I set my mind to. I would further appreciate it, if tonight at dinner with the Sherwoods that we do not discuss this. Denise, Frank, and Jeremy are a great family; they are very supportive of each other. And I do not want them subjected to this… if Mom wants to be part of my life… then she is going to have to let me live it." Stephanie said.

"We only want what is best for you… we were never given an instruction manual on how to be parents, which believe me would have been nice, and frankly you would have needed your own. We also never got an instruction manual on how to handle your limitations." Bill said coming up to her with smile.

"Ok, can we table this discussion until after dinner, please? As I told Denise we would be there about 1800. And I think we need to get ready, and freshen up a bit." Stephanie said as her cell phone rang. Bill and Beth went into the bedroom, and changed clothes, while Stephanie answered her phone.

"So how was the arrival of the parents?" Jeremy asked.

"Enlightening." Stephanie said sarcastically.

"Really?" Jeremy asked not getting the sarcasm.

"No…" Stephanie answered.

"Look I just called to see how you were doing… and Mom wanted me to tell you that if you need more time, just let me know." Jeremy said.

"No, we will be there at 1800." Stephanie replied.

"Ok, we will see you then… remember… it could be worse." Jeremy was trying to help, but it was not working.

"I know. I will talk to you soon." Stephanie said clicking off the phone.

Stephanie through her Dad the keys to her car, hoping that he would drive to the Sherwood home. Actually, she liked putting her mother in the back seat. They drove to the house, and they talked about the weather, and people from her home town; at least the conversation had simmered. Stephanie said a quick prayer that dinner would go off without a hitch.


	24. Dinner

Chapter 23—

A/N: thanks for all the reviews, please keep them coming.

Stephanie had come to enjoy dinner with the Sherwoods. She valued the time that was spent. Stephanie loved the stories that Frank would tell about the Army; she loved the wittiness of Denise; and she liked being around Jeremy. She had to admit that he had come a long way in a very short time. Jeremy still had days that he struggled to cope with his disability but those were becoming fewer in number. However, Stephanie was dreading tonight with her parents. Stephanie was hoping that Beth would check her snide comments at the door when they arrived at the Sherwoods.

Frank had opened the door when Stephanie and her parents arrived. The house was immaculate as always, and there were a number of bouquets of fresh flowers. Stephanie did the introductions, and Bill and Beth were very pleasant when they met Frank and Denise. Jeremy came down stairs as Bill and Frank were shaking hands. Jeremy looked good, as he had just gotten out of the shower. His hair was combed back, and he was wearing a light green polo shirt, and a pair of jeans. Stephanie could tell by the look on Jeremy's face that his knee was causing him great pain and agony this evening, but he still had a smile on his face, when he introduced himself,

"HI, I am Jeremy." Jeremy said shifting his cane from his right hand to his left hand so that he could shake Bill's hand.

"It is good to meet you Jeremy… Stephanie has told us a lot about you." Beth said coldly… as Stephanie had not told them much about this boy.

"It is nice to meet you as well… did you have a good flight?" Jeremy asked trying to start a conversation.

"It was a little bumpy, but it was ok." Beth replied.

"Well, it is going to be a few more minutes until dinner is ready… so why don't we all have a seat in the family room?" Denise said walking out of the kitchen. Everyone made their way to the family room. Jeremy took a hold of the handle bars on Stephanie's chair and whispered, chill it will be ok. Stephanie smiled at Jeremy's attempts to calm her nerves.

"Frank, Stephanie mentioned that you are an officer in the Army… A Major right?" Bill asked with the attempt at starting the conversation.

"I am a Major… and I have been in the Army for twenty years." Frank said.

"Jeremy, how was PT today?" Stephanie asked.

"They said my knee is getting better slowly." Jeremy said.

"So Jeremy, Stephanie mentioned that you were also injured in Iraq. You are so young how did you end up in Iraq? I mean what about college?" Beth asked fishing for anything she could jump on and make an issue of.

Jeremy thought for a minute as he sensed that he did not want to give too much information, as Stephanie had warned. "Well, I was accepted at West Point, but turned down the appointment, and was planning to go to college to be an architect; then at the last minute I chose to enlist in the Army."

Jeremy knew that he could have phrased that better. He could just feel Stephanie's eyes just staring at him in disbelief, because he had just opened the flood gates for Beth's inquisition. But what saved Jeremy was Denise. Denise said,

"Jeremy, could you help here in the kitchen?" Jeremy got up and opened the cane and maneuvered his way into the kitchen.

Bill turned to Frank and said,

"You must be very proud of your son for following in your footsteps?! But it also must be hard to watch him struggle to re-learn how to live."

"Denise and I are very proud of Jeremy. And yes, it is very difficult to watch Jeremy struggle. But I am sure that you and Beth can say the same thing about Stephanie." Frank replied.

"Yeah, we are very proud of her. She may not always believe it, but we are." Bill smiled at Stephanie and patted her on the shoulder.

Then Denise came out of the kitchen, and invited everyone to the table. The table was beautiful Stephanie thought. Denise had put a lot of work into dinner. It smelled wonderful.

"Denise, you have out done yourself… this looks great, and smells wonderful." Stephanie was delighted.

"Why thank you…. I hope it tastes as good as it looks." Denise said.

"I am sure it will be." Stephanie said reassuring Denise.

The table was relatively quiet until Jeremy broke the silence.

"Steph, I did not tell you the good news… I signed up for classes today at the local college. I only signed up for two for now." Jeremy said beaming.

"That is great. Which classes did you sign up for? Underwater basket weaving?" Stephanie was thrilled that Jeremy had made such a huge step.

"Ha ha… very funny. Actually I signed up for English literature, and military history." Jeremy replied.

"that's great… when do your classes start?" Stephanie asked.

"In about 4 weeks… this will give me enough time to finish up the Braille stuff at the center." Jeremy replied.

"I do not mean to sound naïve… here but how do you expect to go to college when you cannot see? You cannot seriously expect other people to do your work for you?" Here we go Stephanie thought. Mom has not said much since we got here, but here we go.

"Mrs. Sanders, I agree that there will be challenges, but there are many options that I have at my disposal. The college is providing me with people who can read for me. I have a computer that is voice activated, and I am finishing learning Braille. Again it will not be easy, but I need to get an education so that I can get a job." Jeremy replied very eloquently.

"Plus we are planning to help Jeremy is whatever way we can." Frank answered.

"But someday you both may not be here, how do you expect him to live without sight?" Beth continued.

"Mrs. Sanders, I realize that I have a lot to learn… but I have come a long way. And believe me I never planned to screw up my knee or loss my sight… but now that it has happened, I have to live with it."

"I guess I will never understand people like you and my daughter… faced with adversity; you both think that life is going to be ok, well I hope you are right." Beth said getting more annoyed by the minute.

"Hold on… what is your issue with the kids? Personally, I have seen soldiers who are perfectly able do nothing, and they expect the world owes them something. Jeremy and Stephanie are making the efforts to better themselves, and create a life. I have watched your daughter overcome several obstacles with very little support from anyone. She deserves a lot credit." Denise spouted back.

"My problems with the kids are that they do know how the real world treats people with disabilities. The real world will only care so long that they were wounded in Iraq. They will not always get to play the wounded hero." Beth spouted.

"Mom, what is eating you so bad that you are ruining this wonderful meal that Denise worked so hard to make?" Stephanie said; as she was reaching her boiling point.

"Look I am sorry that I am ruining everyone's meal… but I just do not see a future for you two, especially if you two become a couple." Beth was shooting blanks again.

"Mrs. Sanders, I do not know what you are talking about Stephanie and I are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. I am sorry that you feel differently. I value her friendship… as she has helped me to realize that I still have potential. She is the reason as to why I have the confidence to try." Jeremy's words were very touching, and were finally breaking Beth's nastiness.

"Mom if you want to be part of my life, you are going to have to give up the idea that I am helpless and let me live my life. If you are not willing to support that then I am not sure there is space in my life for you. As much as I do not want to say that…" Stephanie replied as she took a sip of iced tea.

"I do not mean to change the subject, but would anyone like some more iced tea?" Denise asked. And every one said no.

The rest of the dinner was finished in silence. Denise suggested that they all move to the family room for desert. When Denise went into the kitchen and to prepare desert Stephanie followed. Stephanie said,

"I owe you and Frank a huge apology for my mother. You put so much time and effort into tonight for it to be ruined by her. I am sorry."

"Steph, you do not need to apologize, your mother clearly has issues. You warned us about her, so do not worry about it. If you need anything while they are here, you know that we are here." Denise said trying to help Stephanie feel secure and safe.

"Here can you manage to carry this tray of plates?" Denise asked.

"Sure". They carried the desert and coffee into the family room, where the men and Beth were talking. It seemed like there was a cease fire of words for the moment. Beth sat quietly next to Bill on the couch. Denise served the desert, and everyone enjoyed the rich chocolate cake.

"So Stephanie, what are you and your parents planning on doing tomorrow?" Denise asked.

"Well I had not planned that far… as I was not sure as to how tired Mom and Dad were going to be." Stephanie admitted.

"I have an idea… I am not working at the hospital tomorrow. Why do not all of us ladies go shopping? And Frank, Jeremy and Bill can go find something to do." Denise offered knowing how much Stephanie would appreciate the support.

"Yeah, I would like that… how about you, Mom?" Stephanie really did appreciate sharing the wealth of her mother's insults with someone else.

"I like that idea… I would like to get to know Denise a little better." Beth said.

"And what about us?" Bill asked, gesturing at Frank and Jeremy.

"Well, Bill do you play golf?" Frank asked.

"Why yes I do… but I did not bring my clubs." Bill admitted.

"Actually Mr. Sanders, do not worry about it, you can use my old clubs. They are not great but you are certainly welcomed to them." Jeremy offered.

"Yeah that sounds great… but Jeremy what are you going to do?" Bill asked not wanting to exclude Jeremy.

"I thought I would drive the golf cart." Jeremy said laughing.

"You are going to drive the cart, how?" Bill was not sensing Jeremy's sarcasm.

"Mr. Sanders I was kidding. No I will ride along with you both, and make fun of Dad." Jeremy smiled.

"Ok… what time?" Bill asked.

"How about 0930? Is that too early?" Frank asked, as sometimes he got so used to the Army doing things so early that he lost sight of the non-military world.

"That sounds good." Bill agreed.

The rest of the evening at the Sherwood's went well, for the most part. Beth still had a number of issues, but she realized that this was neither the time nor the place to continue to address them. She was actually looking forward to going shopping with her daughter and Denise. As it was not very often she got to go shopping with her daughter. Beth was proud of her daughter even if she did not show it. The Sanders family got back to Stephanie's apartment about 2300. Beth announced that she was tired and was ready to go to bed, but Stephanie and Bill decided to stay up and talk. Stephanie transferred herself from her wheelchair to the couch and Bill sat in the recliner.

"Stephanie… I am sorry about your mother. I thought that she was going to be ok, and not be so insulting." Bill admitted.

"Dad… thank you for the apology but I need to hear that from Mom. I personally feel like she was very rude to the Sherwoods tonight. Denise put a lot of effort into dinner and mom…. You know opened her big mouth." Stephanie said with a sigh.

"I know. But here is the really important question… how are you really doing? Medically? Physically? Emotionally?" Bill asked like a concerned parent.

"Medically I am doing well. I exercise daily. Physically, I am doing better than ever. Emotionally… it's good. It has really helped that I have found Jeremy and his family as friends. They are very nice. They have been very supportive of me wanting to go to medical school. Since Denise is a nurse, she has helped me to study for my MCAT, which it looks like I am going to take the exam in about weeks." Stephanie said reassuring her father that she was ok.

"I am glad… you are going to make a good doctor. Honey, I am very proud of the way you are handling yourself. If your mother will not tell you that… I will." Bill said with a sigh.

"That means a lot. SO how are Alan and Sarah doing?" Stephanie had not seen her brother and sister in over a year; and she had not spoken to either of then in a couple of weeks.

Bill and Stephanie finally called it a night about 1230a. It was a good conversation. Stephanie felt better about her parent's visit now that she felt like she had her Dad's support. She just wished she could get through to her mother… but time will tell. The idea of shopping with her mother was not a favorable one, but at least Denise would be there.


	25. To Agree to Disagree

Chapter 25—

The next morning started fairly early for Stephanie. She awoke about 5 AM, which was about 4 hours after she fell asleep. She wanted to take care of her morning hygiene issues before her parents needed the bathroom. It always took her more time in the morning than most. Stephanie recalled the days before her injury that she could be up, showered and dressed in less than twenty minutes. Now what would have taken twenty minutes takes at least an hour.

About 615 AM Stephanie emerged from her bedroom dressed and ready to go for the day. She rolled into the kitchen where she made a pot of coffee. She knew that her Dad would be waking up within minutes of the aroma of the coffee filled the air. As she poured herself a cup, she saw her Dad emerge from the guest bedroom. Of course, Bill was a morning person, and it did not matter if he got eight hours of sleep or four he was always very happy in the morning.

"Good Morning." Bill said grabbing a cup off the counter.

"Morning, Dad. Is sleeping beauty still sleeping?" Stephanie said referring to her mother.

"Come on Stephanie; be nice, she is your mother." Bill said with his morning perkiness.

"I will try if she does." Stephanie replied with a yawn

"How did you sleep last night?" Bill asked trying to change the subject.

"I slept fine… just not enough of it." Stephanie replied with another yawn.

"Then why are you up so early?" Bill questioned.

"Because I wanted to get my morning routines out of the way before you and Mom needed to use the bathroom. It takes me a lot longer now to get ready in the mornings." Stephanie replied casually.

"Stephanie, are you sure you are doing ok medically?" Bill asked with concern.

"Yeah, I got a clean bill of health about a week ago, why?" Stephanie said curiously.

"I just want to make sure. You know what… I think I am going to head into the shower before your mother wakes up." With that Bill headed into the shower… and twenty minutes later he was shaven, clean and dressed.

Stephanie was sitting at her desk reading her emails and talking on the phone to Jeremy. She had called Jeremy to talk about the transportation issues. Then Denise got on the phone and said that Frank would pick up Bill to go golfing at about 845 AM, and then she would meet Beth and Stephanie around 1000 AM at the mall.

"Well, do you suppose I should wake your mother up?" Bill asked.

"You can if you want." Stephanie said snidely.

"Do not bother, I am awake, is there any coffee around here?" Beth asked.

"Help yourself it is on the counter." Stephanie replied without looking up from the computer screen.

"Stephanie what are you reading so intently?" Beth asked.

"It is the national schedule for the MCAT exams. I know that I would like to take them in a couple of months, I just want to know when." Stephanie replied.

"Oh… you are still planning on taking them?" Beth asked.

"Mom, I will make you a deal… I will not make any snide comments to you, and you will do the same. We are going to meet Denise around 1000 AM at the mall, and I would very much like to have day that we try to be nice to each other. Can we agree to that?" Stephanie asked cautiously.

"I just asked a mire question… but I do agree with you that we need to be nicer to each other. Perhaps, I need to start over this morning…. Good Morning." Beth said trying to be pleasant.

"Good Morning to you." Stephanie replied in the same try to be pleasant tone.

The three of them sat around talking for a few minutes. Beth and Stephanie were taking great pains not to harass each other, but every so often one of them would spout something. Around 830 AM, Beth announced that she was going to get cleaned up. Beth was in the shower when there was a knock at the door, it was Frank and Jeremy. Stephanie answered the door and Frank led Jeremy in the door.

"Good Morning." Bill said with a cheery voice.

"Good Morning, Sir." Stephanie replied.

"Stephanie, are you ever going to get past the Army formality of addressing me as Major or Sir?!" Frank laughed. Frank had gotten to know this very bright and articulate woman, and she had also gotten to the point where Frank almost considered her the daughter that he and Denise never had.

"Sorry, force of habit. When I am tired I seem to revert back to the Army things." Stephanie replied.

"Huh… yes… the Sleeping Ugly rises again." Jeremy said with a laugh.

"Very funny Sherwood… I have seen you first thing in the morning… I would not necessarily consider you a beauty either." Stephanie quipped with a laugh.

"The difference is that you have seen me… at least I only get the audio portion of you first thing in the morning." Jeremy had everyone laughing pretty hard.

"Not that this was the conversation that I thought that we would have this morning, but you two bring up a question. Knowing that neither one of you are morning people how did you two ever get through boot camp?" Frank asked knowing full well that this would have been a struggle.

"Well… its all kind of fuzzy right now… as I choose to block out my memories of boot camp." Jeremy replied.

"Ok. Ok. Enough is enough. If we are going to make it to our tee time, I think the men should go. Stephanie please send regards to your mother, and I will give Denise calls later letting her know what our plans are for dinner." Frank relayed.

"Have a good time… and please DO NOT let Jeremy drive the golf cart." Stephanie said as they walked out the door. She was not sure that Jeremy would have a good time on the golf course since he could not play, but she was sure that a good conversation would be had by all.

Denise immerged from the bathroom dressed in a pair of blue jeans and collared shirt. The color of the shirt was pink; and actually was a nice color on her. Denise also wore a pair of very fashionable flip flops.

"Mom, you look nice. I like that color on you." Stephanie said.

"Are you kidding or are you being serious?" Beth asked not knowing the intent of the comment.

"I was being serious. Not everything that I say to you or about you is rude." Stephanie replied.

"How did we get to this point?" Beth continued.

"Get to what point?" Stephanie said still not looking up from her email.

"The point where we cannot hold a civil conversation with each other." Beth pondered out loud.

"Honestly, it started the day that I came home and told you and Dad that I was joining the Army to pay for college." Stephanie said looking up from her computer.

"I guess… I thought it was the worst decision that you could make, and frankly in your current situation it still was the worst thing you could have done." Beth replied trying not to sound condescending.

"Mom, I totally disagree with you. I still do not know how I would have paid for college otherwise." Stephanie said trying very hard not to take offense to the previous comment.

"Your sister and your brother found away to pay for college without joining the Army." Beth pointed out.

"Yes, they did, but each of them has over $50,000 in student loans that they will need to pay back." Stephanie stated.

"I understand that, but they also do not have sit in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives either." Beth continued.

"Mom, which is a good point. But I cannot look back, I have to look forward. I have said this more than once I never wanted this to happen, but it has and unfortunately I cannot change that, the only thing I can do is make the best out of this as I can." Stephanie continued.

"This is not the life I wanted for you. The day you came home and said that you had joined the Army, I thought you were nuts." Beth said with a coy smile.

"Mom, I know that this is not the life that you wanted for me, heck this is not the life that I dreamed of, but this is the life I have; and I will not just sit here and let it pass me by. I have a lot of respect for the Army. The Army has taught me a lot, and I would not trade what I have learned…" Stephanie stopped and looked at her mother. Beth had a very strange look on her face.

"What's wrong… you have a strange look on your face." Stephanie continued.

"Do you realize this is the first civilized conversation that we have had in years that did not have to be mediated by someone like your father, Sarah, or Alan?" Beth commented.

"They would be very proud of us." Stephanie commented realizing the gravity of that statement.

"Yes, they would." Beth replied.

"So where do we go from here?" Stephanie asked wondering how this conversation would change their relationship. Even as Stephanie grew up their relationship was one of extreme sarcasm.

"I do not know. I still do not agree with a lot of your decisions. I still think that you should move home, and let us help take care of you. The last thing I want to see is you getting hurt any further. And I do not mean getting hurt physically… I mean getting hurt emotionally." Beth said realizing that she was open a can of worms that she had not intended.

"What do you mean, getting hurt emotionally?" Stephanie asked truly not knowing what Beth meant.

"Look, I am not sure that we should have this conversation right now." Beth replied.

"Why? What are you thinking? You have never missed telling me what you think." Stephanie answered.

"Look, I am concerned that you and Jeremy are getting too close." Beth stated being fearful that this is not something that Stephanie wants to hear.

"Mom, Jeremy and I are just friends, again nothing more and nothing less." Stephanie reiterated for the second time in 24-hours.

"That is what you are telling me now. Look there is so many reasons why a romance with him is not going to work." Beth continued.

"Mom, neither Jeremy nor me having any intentions of having that kind of relationship. And we are friends. I do not know what I can say to convince you otherwise… WE ARE FRIENDS." At that point before Beth could respond, Stephanie's cell phone rang.

"Hello." Stephanie answered.

"HI, Denise"

"Oh that would be great… Thanks… we will see you about 10…ok see you soon." Stephanie clicked off the phone.

"What was that all about?" Beth asked.

"Well… Denise is on her way. Instead of us meeting her at the mall, she is going to come and pick us up. She finished her appointment early, and she is close by… so she volunteered to drive." Stephanie conveyed.

"Ok that is awfully nice of her… and she will be here in about fifteen minutes… I best go touch up my make up." Beth said knowing that the Jeremy discussion was going to have be tabled until later.


	26. Understanding

Chapter 26—

A/N: All the reviews are greatly appreciated. However, I am in need of some compelling story ideas. Please share.

The ladies were walking around the mall, not really shopping for anything in particular. The conversation was sparse, but Stephanie was trying to keep any conversation going.

"Denise, how is working going?" Stephanie asked.

"Its going well… I am certainly learning some of the new ways of doing stuff. It is definitely a change from when I started nursing school all those years ago." Denise replied.

"I am sure that you are learning it very quickly. Mom, in case that you did not know… Denise started nursing school many years ago, and finally went back just recently to finish her nursing practical." Stephanie said not recalling if she had told her mother prior to now.

"I did not know that… I just assumed that you were a seasoned nurse." Beth said coldly.

"Denise is a great nurse. I have watched her teach some of the other nurses a thing or two." Stephanie said coming to Denise's defense.

"I did not mean for Denise to take offense to that." Beth said.

"Beth, I did not take offense to that… I made many choices a long time ago, any they were to take care of my family. And after Jeremy enlisted I decided with some encouragement from my friends to finish my education. And I am glad that I did." Denise said confidently.

"That is very interesting… it must be difficult to have worked so hard, and then have to go back to take care of your son." Again Beth was fishing for something. Stephanie knew she was fishing, but there was nothing that Stephanie could do to stop her.

"Beth, I am not sure as to what you are referring to, but if you are talking about me giving up my job to take care of Jeremy… that is not going to happen." Denise was getting very annoyed with Beth's line of questioning.

"I would assume that having a blind son means him needing someone to care for him the rest of his life. He obviously cannot live alone." Beth was crossing a very serious line, and Stephanie was truly at a loss as to what to do; and Denise shot Stephanie a look of empathy, and a look of Stephanie, this is between your mother and me.

"Actually not…Frank and I have come to an agreement that we are going to allow Jeremy to make his own way in the world. There are a lot of things that Jeremy is still very able to do, and really he pretty much takes care of himself. But I am sure that is a similar sentiment to what you and Bill helped Stephanie to do." Denise was not accustomed to shooting back… but she was not sure where or what Beth was coming from.

"Well… Stephanie here did not give us much of a choice in her decision. We wanted to take her back home but she protested… and eventually… we did not talk at all." Beth finally softened her stance.

"That is one of things that Frank and I are afraid of… we do not want to push Jeremy away." Denise almost said, 'we do not want to push Jeremy away, again' but she stopped herself as that was not something she wanted Beth to pounce on.

The conversation was quieted when Beth excused herself to go to the restroom across from one of the department stores. Denise found a bench and sat down, and Stephanie rolled over to her, and said,

"Denise, I am so sorry, about my mother. She and I had a long conversation this morning, and we both agreed to behave ourselves… I just did not realize that we would be behaving ourselves only. I never anticipated that she would lash out on you. I am sorry; I never meant this to turn into a conversation like this." Stephanie said almost in tears. Denise had become a great friend, and sometimes the type of mother figure that she had always wanted.

"Stephanie this is not your fault. Something is eating your mother, and until she lets it all out, we are all going to be subjected to her verbal daggers." Denise said trying to reassure Stephanie this was her mother's issue rather than hers.

"So that you do not have to be subjected to anymore of her spiteful comments; why don't we try to wrap this mall experience up?" Stephanie urged.

"Stephanie, I can handle your mother. Besides I am here to support you…" Denise smiled.

"Denise, you do not have to support me! I can take care of myself." Stephanie emphasized.

"Look… you have done a lot for my son… Frank and I greatly appreciate what you have done. We both want you to know that if you ever need anything we are here to help." Denise said. She had wanted to tell Stephanie this for a long time, but the opportunity had never presented itself until now. Stephanie had done so much for Jeremy over the past months. She had almost single handedly changed Jeremy's perspective on life from being uptight and hopeless, to almost outgoing and hopeful.

At that point, Beth walked up to Stephanie and Denise announcing that she would like to leave the mall, and perhaps get a bite to eat. Stephanie responded,

"That is a good idea… there is a little coffee shop right outside the mall. They have good sandwiches and salads; and they should not be that busy."

They all agreed to the coffee shop. Unfortunately the lunch conversation did not seem to improve. Beth kept throwing her verbal daggers at Denise, and occasionally at Stephanie. Both Denise and Stephanie tried to put a stop to Beth's tirade, but she persisted. After lunch, Denise dropped Stephanie and Beth off at the apartment.

Stephanie was relieved when Beth announced that she wanted to take a nap. This meant that Stephanie had between an hour to two hours break from her mother's mouth and opinion. Stephanie was extremely thankful for the break.

After Beth went into the guest bedroom to lie down; Stephanie took the opportunity to transfer herself from her wheelchair to the couch. She too was tired, and hoped a nap would be forthcoming. As Stephanie stretched out on the couch, she wondered how the boys were doing on the golf course. Knowing her Dad, the guys were having a much better time than the ladies had at the mall.

The guys were on the 18th hole. Actually Jeremy had been surprised how much fun he had on the golf course. Frank and Bill knew that with Jeremy's knee that walking the course was out of the question. Furthermore, Jeremy would have not said much if his knee hurt; so they rented a golf cart. Jeremy just sat in the passengers' seat. Bill had kept both Jeremy and Frank laughing for the majority of the day. The guys got along very well. The standard competitiveness that exists between players on the golf course was not evident.

When they were done playing the 18th hole, Bill, Jeremy and Frank went into the clubhouse for drinks. Bill and Frank ordered a beer, and Jeremy ordered a coke. Even though Frank had told Jeremy that he was old enough to drink at the house, Jeremy did not think that this rule applied to a nineteen year old (soon to be twenty) out in the real world. As the guys were talking Bill became curious about Jeremy's plans for the future.

"Jeremy, my daughter tells me that you are planning to go off to college. Any ideas as to what you would like to study?" Bill wondered because in the past he always liked to know something out Stephanie's friends.

"Actually, I was thinking about either psychology or something in business. But I am really not sure what yet…" Jeremy said. He knew that both those options were vastly different in scope from each other, and his previous desire of being an architect. Unfortunately Jeremy had comes to grips with the fact that without having the ability to see would hinder being an architect.

"Either one could have possibilities. Business is always a good choice… you could always sell insurance like me…" Bill said, knowing that there are very few people in the world who dream of selling insurance as a career. He certainly did not dream of selling insurance when he graduated from college, but that was one of the only options he had. He had met Beth in college, and had gotten her pregnant. Bill was an honorable man; as he married Beth, and created a family. Over time Beth and Bill had developed solid relationship, but the relationship was more out of responsibility and duty than about love and commitment.

"Sir, you never know… my life had taken some interesting turns in the past year and half." Jeremy sat at the table for the moment thinking about how much his life had changed both for the good and the bad.

"Jeremy, what ever you decide to do, you know that your mother and I are here." Frank said.

"I know… UM… Mr. Sanders… I am not sure as to how to ask this…" Jeremy started; he was very curious about the relationship between Stephanie and her mother.

"Son, just ask it… but first let me guess… how did the relationship between Stephanie and her mother get so strained? Am I close?" Bill knew the question, because at some point in time almost everyone asks that question.

"Yes, sir… that is the question I was planning on asking." Jeremy was a little surprised.

"Well, Stephanie and her mother are a lot alike in the fact that they are both very independent and strong willed… so that rarely is a recipe for a relationship. The real issue came when Stephanie decided to join the Army ROTC program to get money for college. She is a very bright and talented woman, that wanted to go to college, but unfortunately her mother and I could not help her financially. In order for her to pay for school she chose the Army. This infuriated Beth." Bill stated.

"Why? The Army has outstanding opportunities for advancement and educational opportunities. The Army is always looking for people who want to specialize in the medical fields." Frank stated.

"I agree with your statements. However, Beth got it in her head that it was not a good idea for women to join the service. She had always pictured Stephanie going to college and coming home to raise a family, much like she did." Bill continued.

"But Sir, I realize that I have not known Stephanie very long, but from what I know that was never something Stephanie wanted." Jeremy pointed out.

"I know… but my wife's mind was set. Anyway, the day that Stephanie announced her intentions the two had such an argument that I had to physically separate them. Beth was furious. Of course, Stephanie did whatever she wanted anyway. The tension in the house was thick for weeks, months even. Stephanie left for college, and for almost four years the only time she came home was at Christmas. I tried to smooth things over with both of them, but nothing worked. Finally, Stephanie graduated from college, and within a week she was off for specialized training with the Army." Bill told the story with great effort, as anyone could see that this greatly bothered him as a person and a father.

"Then one day, I get a call at work on my cell from Stephanie… I will remember these words for the rest of my life. Stephanie said, 'Daddy, I want to let you know that I love you. I being sent to Afghanistan as medical personnel and my orders have me leaving in seven days.' I could hardly believe it. I was scared. I immediately called Beth, and told her, but by that point Beth was so hurt, that she did not know what to do. Within 3 days I flew to South Carolina to wish her well; Beth did not want to come." Bill continued. Frank had seen this before where one parent of a soldier supported, and the other parent did not, this usually made it all that much more difficult on the soldier in the field.

"Over the next nine months, Stephanie would send me letters and emails when she could; letting me know how she was doing. Then one day I received a phone call telling me that she was seriously injured. When she got back to South Carolina, I again flew to see her. This time Beth came with me. Beth was an emotional wreck. However, as Stephanie began to recover and cope the old wounds that she and Beth created re-opened and they never healed." Bill finished.

Frank just sat there staring at Bill. He understood the story, as he had seen many soldiers and their families go through this, but this could have been his family.


	27. Listening

Chapter 27—

A/N: Thank you to all for your kind words… but I would greatly appreciate some ideas… as I have a couple but I am having a difficult time trying to segway them together.

Frank, Jeremy and Denise got home from their adventures with the Sanders about the same time. Jeremy headed to his room upon arriving at the house, as he just wanted some much needed time alone. Denise and Frank walked into the family room and collapsed; Frank collapsed into the recliner and Denise collapsed into the couch.

"So how was shopping with Stephanie and her mother?" Frank started.

"Delightful." Denise said rubbing her head and trying to massage away the headache that the mire thought of Beth caused instantly. Frank took one look at her and realized that if that is what delightful looked like then he hated to know what terrible looked like.

"Judging by the way that you are rubbing your head… shopping was not a delightful experience. What happened?" Frank asked.

"Beth has a way with words. She pretty much told me that I should quit my job because I was going to have to care for Jeremy for the rest of my life, as he would not be able to take care of himself. Furthermore, I tried to not fight back because of Stephanie, but her mother was extremely rude and unkind. I feel so bad for Stephanie. So how did your round of golf go?" Denise wanted to change the subject because she did not want to remember the look of distress and pain on Stephanie's face when her mother insulted her.

"Actually from the sounds of it, the round of golf was a lot more interesting than shopping." Frank replied.

"It is just I hated to see Stephanie so upset. I realize that there is a certain respect that children give their parents, but Beth crossed a line. Frankly, I do not understand as to why Beth is so hurtful to Stephanie. I wish I knew how and why this started… as I want to help Stephanie." Denise said as the exhaustion became more evident on her face.

"Well, Bill did fill Jeremy and me in on why Beth is so negative about Stephanie." Frank continued to explain how Beth loathed the idea of Stephanie joining the Army to pay for college, and basically how Beth blamed Stephanie for her disability and poor choices.

"You have got to be kidding… Beth is still angry that Stephanie joined the Army? That was more than six years ago… the woman needs to get a grip on reality. I have never seen Stephanie almost in tears before." Denise was more than annoyed she would have thought that after six years that Beth would have accepted the decision of her daughter and then moved on.

"I agree with that… but you have to remember what the end result in Beth's mind of her daughter joining the Army…" Frank started.

"She is now paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair." Jeremy said as he was walking into the family room.

"Yep… the boy is right." Frank said.

"Sorry I did not mean to interrupt… but that is what I have been thinking since we left the golf course. I mean I am in a similar situation to Stephanie; the result is the same, sort of… we both have to live with the rest of our lives with the choices we made… to go to the Army and a result is a disability. Unfortunately in Mrs. Sander's case she is unable to come to the grips with the initial decision because of the outcome." Jeremy was extremely articulate, and his words seemed to flow very calmly.

"WOW, I would have not looked at it like that." Denise said making room on the couch for Jeremy to sit down.

"Actually the only reason that I came up with that one is that I just got off the phone with Stephanie. She and her mother had a very large blow up, so large in fact that Mrs. Sanders is flying back to Arkansas tonight, actually she has already left." Jeremy said very concerned about his friend's well being.

"What about her Dad, did he stay?" Frank asked hoping that Stephanie was not alone at the moment.

"He left too… but Stephanie told me that he was planning to come back as he was only taking Mrs. Sanders to the airport." Jeremy relayed.

"So what you are saying is that Stephanie is alone at her apartment?" Frank asked looking at Denise.

"Yeah… which brings me to the question… who would like to drive me to Stephanie's?" Jeremy asked. He actually saw some humor in the fact that he had to ask his parents to drive him over to a girl's house… he felt so 15 again.

"I think that we should all go." Denise said getting up from the couch.

Within about five minutes Denise, Frank and Jeremy were in the family's SUV heading to Stephanie's apartment, as they knew that Stephanie was very strong but was going to be a definite blow to Stephanie's emotions. They arrived at the apartment and knocked on the door, and Stephanie buzzed them in. She was surprised to see the entire Sherwood clan walking through her door.

"I thought you were my Dad… I never thought that all of you would show up." Stephanie was very happy to see the Sherwoods.

"Unfortunately, I could not drive myself over here; and you sounded like you would like to have someone to talk to… so you got me and my chauffeurs." Jeremy was trying to lighten the mood, and did make Stephanie smile. Jeremy wished he could see Stephanie smile.

"Stephanie… are you ok?" Denise asked in her motherly tone.

"I think so… my mother pretty much told me that I was the biggest disappointment in her life, and that did not want me in her life." At this point, the words stung deep into her soul and tears streamed down her face.

"Stephanie, I am so sorry…"


	28. The bombshell

Chapter 28—

A/N: Thank you again for everyone's reviews and suggestions. Actually your suggestions have given me some ideas… hopefully you will like them.

_"I think so… my mother pretty much told me that I was the biggest disappointment in her life, and that did not want me in her life." At this point, the words stung deep into her soul and tears streamed down her face._

_"Stephanie, I am so sorry…"_

"Thank you… I am really glad that you all are here. I am not sure as to why that you are all here though." Stephanie said through her tears.

"Stephanie… I told you at the mall today, that I want to be here to support you. In the short time that I have known you, I feel like you are the daughter that I never had." Denise said, knowing that this would touch Stephanie.

"Thank you… you have been more of a mother to me in the short time that I have known you than my mother has been in the last five years." Stephanie said.

"Stephanie… you have taught me a lot, and I am not sure how I would have gotten this far without you. But what can I do for you?" Jeremy asked with a sincerity that touched Denise.

"I really do not know what to say… thank you." Stephanie said stunned by the emotional generosity that the entire Sherwood family had showed.

Stephanie's cell phone rang at that point. It was her dad.

"Did you get Mom on the plane?" Stephanie asked being relieved that she was no subjected to her mother's abusive words.

"Are you coming back here?" Stephanie continued.

"OK, I will see you soon… thanks." Stephanie concluded and flipped closed her phone.

Stephanie just sat in her wheelchair for a few moments to collect her thoughts, as it had been a very long hard day. Denise, Frank and Jeremy allowed her those moments to reflect on the day's events. Finally Stephanie broke the silence,

"If you have not guessed that was my dad… he is on his way back here. I am not sure why, because he will eventually have to go home to her anyway." Stephanie said bitterly.

"He is still your Dad, and it still says a lot that he did not get on the plane with your mother. Steph, he really does care about you." Frank said cautiously; as he was not used to getting in the middle of other people's family business.

"Sir, I know that you are right! He was the only person that ever supported me when I decided to go into the Army. I will never understand why that my mother never supposed me." Stephanie said sadly.

"I have been in the Army for almost twenty years, and I have seen solders that have all the support in the world from their families, and I have seen others with no support… I know it is hard, but you are a survivor, and you have gotten strength from yourself." Frank stated.

"I just do not understand why my mother hated me so much. I know that I did not live the life that she wanted. Heck, I am not living the life that I wanted… I never wanted to be in wheelchair, but what did she want from me? For me to sit in a corner and rot? I just do not understand." Stephanie started crying again. Frank never could stand a woman crying. He went over to her and gave her a hug, and the next thing that she knew he was picking her up out of her chair and carried her to the couch, where he just held her. When Stephanie was growing up Bill would hold her, and reassure her that life would be ok. Stephanie continued crying, and finally looked up to find that Denise and Jeremy were sitting right next to her and Frank.

"I am sorry that you all have to be subjected to this… this is my problem, not yours." Stephanie said wiping her tears away from her eyes.

"Stop it… there is nothing to be sorry for… we all need friends." Denise said.

Then there was a knock on the door. Denise got up and opened the door it was Bill. He came rushing in, not saying a word. He sat down next to Stephanie where Frank had put her on the couch. He looked at his beautiful daughter. He marveled at the inner strength and beauty that she has, and wondered how she had managed to grow up so smart and confident with the way her mother often treated her. Finally, he spoke…

"Steph, I am sorry that she hurt you… I will never let her hurt you like that again. What she said to you was uncalled for and very wrong. I want you in my life, and you will always be my daughter. I will support your decisions." Bill said wiping away Stephanie's tears.

"Thank you, Daddy… but what about mom? You are going to have to go home at some point in time." Stephanie said.

"Honey, which is why we came here… we wanted to tell you that we are in the final stages of getting divorce." Bill finally admitted.

"What?!" Stephanie said in complete shock.

"Your mother and I never really loved each other. The only reason that we got married was that I got your mother pregnant… and now that you kids are all grown we decided that we did not have to keep up the charade any longer. I am sorry that we did not tell you sooner, but that is why we came out here… to tell you in person. I never expected it to end like this… I am sorry." Bill was very angry at himself for allowing the charade to go on this long and not telling Stephanie sooner.

"Dad… you and mom are getting a divorce?" Stephanie just could not fathom the concept. Actually, she had known for her entire life that her parents were not happy. It was not anything that they said or did, it was feeling she had. Usually the feeling occurred when she was around married couples that loved each other. The feeling was non-existent when she was around her parents.

"Yes, Stephanie, we are getting a divorce." Bill reiterated.

"I am not sure what to say… Congratulations for getting rid of the wicked witch?" Stephanie said trying to be understanding, but it came out completely wrong.

"Wow that is not the reaction that I expected out of you." Bill said with amazement.

"Sorry… it has been a very long day… and…" Stephanie did not know how to finish her sentence.

"We are sorry to interrupt, but perhaps we should not be here." Denise said.

"No… please stay…" Bill and Stephanie said at the same moment.

"You have acted more like family for Stephanie, than her mother and I have. I intend to change that." Bill said.

Over the next few hours the Sherwoods, Stephanie and Bill talked about life, starting over, and finally they ordered dinner. The pizza delivery guy showed up with two manly pizzas, and one salad. Bill paid for the pizzas. He put them on the coffee table. As everyone was eating the conversation continued to flow,

"So Bill, what are your plans for when the divorce is finalized?" Frank asked stuffing another bite of the manly pizza into his mouth.

"Well, I am not sure yet… I have been living in a rented townhouse for the last couple of months or so… I will probably stay there. I still have a job at the insurance company. At least now I can come see my daughter more often. Maybe eventually I can move here to South Carolina… I do not know." Bill said.

"Dad I would love for you to move to South Carolina. But what about your job?" Stephanie asked excitedly. The prospect of her father moving to be closer to her was exciting, but she knew there were a lot of logistical issues that would have be figured out first.

"That would be the reason why would not move. It is just I have not been single for almost thirty plus years, I do not know how to be a bachelor. Perhaps Jeremy could help me, and teach me how to be a bachelor." Bill said trying to be funny, and keep the mood relatively positive.

"Mr. Sanders, though I would like to help you in that department, there is a small problem… it is difficult to teach something that I have do not have a clue about… or have the vision to do so." Jeremy said trying to be funny.

"After what we have all been through tonight, please call me Bill." Bill said to Jeremy.

"Ok… I will try." Jeremy admitted.

After dinner was finished the Sherwoods went home, as they knew that there was a lot that Bill and Stephanie needed to talk about. Bill was sitting on the couch looking at his daughter in the kitchen making coffee. He was very proud of his daughter for overcoming a lot of obstacles in her life. He imagined that life was a challenge for her, but she never seemed to complain. She handed Bill a cup of coffee, and they started talking.

"You know… Denise and Frank are very nice. They seem like good people." Bill commented.

"They are… they are wonderful. And so is Jeremy." Stephanie replied with a smile. Frank, Denise and Jeremy were great friends, but after tonight they turned into a surrogate family or sorts.

"I am really glad that you have someone to turn to… I am just sorry that it has taken so long for me to come to visit you." Bill regretted not spending time with Stephanie.

"Dad, just promise me one thing…" Stephanie said.

"What is that?" Bill asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That you will never let Mom or anyone dictate you coming to see me!!" Stephanie said beaming from ear to ear.

"Deal. So tell me about Jeremy?" Bill wanted to know a little more about the guy that Stephanie considered such a great friend.

"What would you like to know?" Stephanie had a special little twinkle in her eye when ever anyone mentioned his name.

"Anything you would like to tell me!" Bill commented.

"Jeremy is a good guy… umm… he has struggled to accept his limitations, but he has come a long way. He has a big heart, he is smart…" Stephanie said.

"Steph, I may be out of line here… but are you two more than friends?" Bill asked like any overprotective father would. Normally this question would have annoyed Stephanie, but this was coming from her father, not her mother.

"No, we are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. Besides we are both at strange places in our lives. He is learning to cope with the loss of his sight, and letting his knee heal. I am trying to move on. Why do you ask?" Stephanie asked wondering why he was so curious.

"I was just curious. Any time that his name is mentioned you get a special twinkle in your eyes, and I just thought that there was something there." Bill commented.

"It has meant so much to me to have Jeremy and his family has friends. Denise and Frank are very special people." Stephanie replied. This answer seemed to satisfy Bill.

"Ok… just being a nosy father."

"I have missed you, Dad. So anyway how did Sarah and Alan take the news of you and mom getting a divorce? And why did you wait so long to tell me?" Stephanie pondered.

"I have missed you too. Actually Sarah and Alan took it about as well as you did… fortunately for them they did not have an explosion of words with your mother before we told them. We waited so long to tell you because we have rarely spoken to you… for that I am sorry." Bill was truly sorry for not telling Stephanie sooner.

Stephanie and Bill were up until almost 2 AM talking, laughing and sometimes crying. They knew that when they woke up they would start a new day.


	29. Deployment

Chapter 29—

A/N: Your reviews are always appreciated, please keep them coming.

Stephanie and Bill spent the next few days together. They talked, laughed, and tears were shed, but unfortunately for Stephanie, Bill eventually had to go home. It almost broke Stephanie's heart when she took her Dad to the airport, but they agreed that they would see each other again soon. The past few days had meant a lot to both; it had given them time to reconnect. Actually there was a sense of relief that Beth was going to be out of their lives. It was not that Stephanie did not want her mother in her life, but it was a matter of Beth not wanting to be a part of Stephanie's life. It was a sad situation for all involved, but life goes on.

Denise was sitting at the kitchen table, when the phone rang. Frank was the closest to the phone, so he answered it,

"Major Sherwood." Frank answered.

"Yes, Sir, two days?" Frank questioned. Denise had been an Army wife for over twenty years, and she had been party to this kind of phone call. She was fully aware of the fact that Frank was going to be leaving yet again for some place, probably in the Middle-East.

"Thank you, Sir, we will be ready." Frank hung up the phone and looked at Denise.

"You do not have to tell me… you are leaving in two days… Iraq? Or back to Afghanistan?" Denise said not even looking up from the textbook she was reading.

"I guess the Army is that predictable… yeah… two days we will be leaving for Iraq." Frank said knowing that Denise did not like to hear it, but he had to go.

"You know I will miss you… and Jeremy too." Denise said.

October 3, 2007 830a

"Are you going to be ok here with Jeremy?" Frank asked. It was not that he feared for Denise's safety like before, the question was more for Jeremy's transportation needs to and from rehab, and those kinds of logistics.

"We should be fine." Denise said calmly. Even though she had been through a number of deployments before it was always a tough situation.

At that point Jeremy was walking down the stairs. Denise and Frank had seen a dramatic change in Jeremy since he had been home. He had become more confident, and more self-reliant. He still had his moments of self doubt, but all in all Jeremy's recovery and rehab time seemed to go more smoothly than at the rehab hospital. It was a well known fact that patients often have faster recovery times when they are at home. Even though Jeremy was doing well… he was still having pain and soreness in his knee. Jeremy and Denise had been told that as a result of both the infections and the subsequent surgeries Jeremy would probably always walk with a significant limp. Unfortunately Jeremy had not been able to get rid of the heavy duty knee brace; as Dr. Bartley and Steve, the Physical Therapist had not seen significant enough progress in the knee's strength and stability to warrant the removal of the brace. It was not that Jeremy was not doing everything he could to improve the situation, but the knee had been through a lot of trauma.

"Good Morning." Jeremy said trying to fake a smile. Denise could see that Jeremy's knee was giving him great grief this morning.

"Good Morning to you, son." Frank said sharing the same look of concern with Denise over the pain that Jeremy was trying to hide.

"Jeremy, how is your knee this morning?" Frank asked, hoping he would get the straight answer. Jeremy did not like to worry his parents, but he did anyway. Denise and Frank were always concerned with Jeremy. They always worried about him getting hurt either because of the knee or because he was still working on maneuvering the world without sight.

"Is it that apparent?" Jeremy asked hoping that he could hide the pain he was feeling in his knee.

"Actually it is…" Denise looked at Jeremy.

"It hurts this morning… I was kind of hoping that if I walked around that the muscles and ligaments would loosen up a bit. And I am sure that when I go to see Steve today, he will help me work on it." Jeremy admitted.

"Oh that is right…. You have a PT appointment at 1300." Frank said.

Frank and Denise looked at each other knowing that Jeremy really did not want to talk about his knee. Jeremy knew that his parents exchanged a lot of looks that he could not see. In the beginning, it would bother him, not seeing the looks, but he now just accepts it.

"I heard the phone ring…" Jeremy mentioned hoping that it was Stephanie. He had not spoken much to her since her Dad left.

"No it was not Stephanie… it was actually for me." Frank said knowing that he had not spoken to Stephanie in the past couple of days.

"How did you know… oh never mind. So when are you leaving?" Actually Jeremy was half joking. It had just assumed that the call was for a scheduled deployment.

"Actually… I am leaving for deployment in 2 days. How did you know?" Frank admitted wondering how Jeremy knew.

"It was just a guess… and you have been home for quite awhile." Jeremy said.

"Oh… I guess I have been home for a while. Do you know how long you are going to be gone?" Jeremy asked, but he knew that soldiers rarely knew how long their deployment would actually last.

"Jeremy you know the answer… you never know." Frank replied. At this point Denise walked out of the kitchen because she knew that Frank and Jeremy needed to talk, and she did not want to be in the middle of it.

"Yeah… I know. I wish you did not have to go." Jeremy felt like a little kid when he said that. He remembered when he was about 6 years old begging his father not to go wherever he was going. At the time Frank promised his then young son that he would be back. That was the promise that Frank made every time… that he would be back safe and sound. However after the last tour when his team was shot down he was not sure that he would be able to make that promise, but he did. Frank looked at his son… seeing the causalities of war. A soldier no matter what the rank could not fully prepare themselves for the death and destruction that war could bring. However, it was different when it was someone else's family.

"Well… it is my job… I have to go." Frank said searching for anything but the blank stare that would forever be in Jeremy's eyes.

"Jeremy… are you going to be ok without me here?" Frank asked tentatively.

"Yeah… if you mean am I going to cause Mom any pain? The answer is No. First, I have come to grips with the fact that I should have never laid a hand on Mom, as Mom did not deserve it, and well… umm… and I realized that kind of anger does nothing but destroy things around me. Secondly, I am not in any physical condition to hurt her at all… believing me I will never do that again." Jeremy said, feeling very remorseful that he ever hurt his mother.

"Jeremy, you are very different man than you were and I know and I can see that… and that is not what I was asking. I know that you have been having some problems with your knee, and I just want to make sure that you are going to be ok…" Frank was confident that the problems that Jeremy had before enlisting in the Army were in the past.

"Dad, I will be fine… my I have come to grips with the fact that my knee will never be back to 100, and that it is going to hurt, but I am going to have to do what I can, and figure it out as I go." Jeremy replied.

The next two days went by quickly. Jeremy and Denise were standing on the tarmac saying good bye to Frank and all the other soldiers deploying. There was an irony at this tarmac Jeremy thought… people come people go… but it is almost the same scene when the soldiers leave. Families are there hoping and praying that their loved ones would come home safely and soon. Right before Frank was about to board the bus, he saw a woman in a wheelchair sitting alone… it was Stephanie. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white tank top, and a purple collared blouse. Her long brunette hair was tied up into a twist, and she was wearing a pair of sunglasses.

Frank turned his head, and the entire Sherwood clan came walking up to her. Frank spoke first,

"Stephanie… thank you for coming… I am glad that you came to see me off."

"Sir, when Jeremy called to tell me that you were deploying I was very sad, in fact I even cried. But I wanted to wish you the best, and say that I really want you to come home. Please do not come home the way that Jeremy and I did." Stephanie always had away with words.

"I will make every effort I not to." Frank said. Frank hugged Stephanie, kissed Denise. As he kissed Denise, she slipped a special note into the pocket of his jacket. This had been a tradition between Denise and Frank ever since the very first deployment more than twenty years ago. Frank turned and headed to the bus. He looked over his shoulder one more time, and he saw Stephanie and Jeremy in full military salute. Frank saluted them back… and headed to the bus.

Denise, Jeremy, and Stephanie watched as the bus drove away. Finally when the bus was out of sight, Denise turned to Stephanie and Jeremy and said,

"Ok, you two… lets get out of here… before they decide to ship you off too." Denise had been through this so many times, but it was always hard to see Frank leave.

"Yeah… let's get out of here." Jeremy said taking the handles of Stephanie's wheelchair, and letting Stephanie guide him back to the parking lot.

When they reached the parking lot, Denise looked at Stephanie and said,

"What are your plans tonight?" Denise asked because she had missed Stephanie over the last week. Stephanie was very busy getting ready to take the MCAT examine.

"Well… I thought I would go through a couple of more practice exams. Why?" Stephanie would be very happy when the exam was over, and she was making plans to go to medical school.

"How about you coming over tonight… and I will help you study for the exam… or better yet you come over and I will make Jeremy cook and we can watch a movie." Denise said realizing that Stephanie needed a break.

"Yeah… I would like that… but can Jeremy really cook?" Stephanie knew that Jeremy could cook… but she just did not trust his cooking… as she suspected that he could burn water.

"Hey… yeah I can cook." Jeremy said with a laugh. Actually he was a good cook, as he had learned some very good techniques.

"Actually he is…" Denise said.

"But I am much quicker on the dial." Jeremy said whipping out his cell phone. They all started laughing.

"Why do not I meet you at your house in about an hour, as I would like to pick up some things." Stephanie said.

"Yeah that would be great… why don't you bring a change of clothes and you can stay the night." Denise prompted.

"I would like that… thanks" Stephanie said.

"Actually, Mom I think that I will ride with Steph and see if I can help her out." Jeremy said. As it had been a while since he last spoke to her. And he also wanted to see how she was doing since her parent's announcement of their divorce.

"OK… I will see you both later… and I will stop and pick up some DVD's. Yes, Jeremy they are going to be chick flicks!!" Denise said.

"Yuck… but I am out numbered by chicks tonight." Jeremy retorted.

Jeremy got in to the car with Stephanie. It always took time for Stephanie to load herself in to the car, but Jeremy waited patiently.


	30. Two Friends Talking

Chapter 30—

A/N: Thank you to all for your generous and very kind words of support. I try to write at least one chapter a day; however it does depend on my work schedule. This story has become means of relaxation from work… so I hope you continue to enjoy this story.

Stephanie and Jeremy drove back to her apartment. They chatted about music, movies, but Stephanie could sense there was something on Jeremy's mind. She originally thought that it was probably the deployment of his dad… but the closer they got to her apartment the more she realized it was something more than the deployment. Stephanie clicked the door opener to open the door to her apartment. Jeremy stumbled around and then sat down on the couch. Stephanie rolled into her bedroom where she quickly packed an overnight bag, with the basics. She rolled back into the living room where Jeremy was sitting quietly. Jeremy was a relatively quiet person by nature, but his stoic demeanor had Stephanie perplexed.

"Sherwood… what is going on with you?" Stephanie asked, actually pretty curious at to what was eating Jeremy.

"Nothing really." Jeremy said hoping that Stephanie would live it alone, but he knew she would not.

"Give me a break… I am not the blind one here… I can see that something is bothering you." Stephanie replied, and actually she was getting pretty concerned, as it was not like Jeremy not to tell her everything.

"That's not funny." Jeremy complained. He had gotten used to the blind jokes; in fact he was the one who usually told them.

"Seriously what is wrong?" Stephanie said getting closer to him.

"There are a lot of things on my mind." Jeremy continued.

"Ok… spill it… stop being so evasive!" Stephanie demanded.

"Fine… it is my dad's deployment; it is my knee, it's this." Jeremy waving his hand across his blank eyes.

"So it is a matter of self-pity." Stephanie said matter a factly. She knew that this sounded very cold, but that is not what she was trying to accomplish.

"I really would not say that it was self pity." Jeremy prompted.

"OK… what is it then?" Stephanie continued to demand.

"I really hate that my Dad deployed again. I am just worried… every time in the past he and I always had the conversation before he left. He always told me that when he was gone I was the man of the house. But this time he did not say a word… may be I am just imaging things… but I think that he thinks that I am not capable of taking care of things in his absence." Jeremy said.

"You are joking… you are this concerned about not being asked to be the man of the house? Jeremy, what are you 12? I am sure that it was just an oversight of a very busy senior officer, who was told that he had 48-hours until deployment. Look, I am not trying to be hard on you, and I know that you really want your father's respect, but have you ever thought that may be you cannot do everything just like you used to? I am sure that your father trusts you to take of things… but at this point in time you are still learning how to live with being blind. It is not that you have not come a very long way, but you are still learning. Besides you still have a lot on your plate medically as well. Your knee is not healing as fast as you want to, and I can tell by the way you walk that it you are in pain. I also have seen you with some headaches lately…. And you are about to start college; and yet you are worried that you were not asked to be the man of the house. Frankly, Jeremy, your mother can wear the pants in your family, better than your dad or you ever could. Your mother is a very strong and capable woman." Stephanie said rather directly and coldly. She meant to be direct, but she did not mean to be cold.

"Wow… you certainly know how to get to the point quickly. May be we should just change the subject." Jeremy had not expected this reaction out of Stephanie. It was difficult to get sympathy out of Stephanie, but that was not what Jeremy was trying to get. There was something more but he just could not seem to articulate the real issues. Stephanie thought there was more, but she seemed to alienate Jeremy into changing the subject, and she did not mean to.

"Jeremy, no… listen… I am sorry; I am not trying to be hard on you… I am just trying to understand what is wrong?" Stephanie continued.

"Never mind… it's nothing…really" Jeremy said not wanting to have a lecture from Stephanie.

"Jeremy… stop…really what is it? Is it your knee? Your Dad?" Stephanie asked trying to draw something information out of Jeremy; as he was being very stubborn about what was wrong.

"Yeah, it's my Dad, it's my knee, it's the headaches, it's the idea of going to college, its mom, it's…." Jeremy finally admitted.

"OK… I understand… you are feeling overwhelmed." Stephanie knew this feeling well; life was hard enough without a disability. However, there were additional challenges to life when a disability is added to the mix.

"Yeah, I just do not feel like I can do anything the way that I used to. People treat me different… and I am not sure how to handle that. I am not sure how to make people feel at ease around me." Jeremy finally admitted.

"Jeremy, I could give you every cliché in the world… like you can do anything that you put your mind to; but I think you already know that. Of course people are going to treat you different… because you are different. I am not talking about the physicality of being blind. You are a different person than you were before you enlisted. You told me that you were angry, and you allowed that anger to consume you. In the short, time that I have known you, I have never seen the kind of anger, and you have even admitted that that kind of anger is no longer exists. Also, think about all that you saw in Iraq. I know what I saw in Afghanistan, and believe me that changes a lot about who and what you are. So what I am saying is that people are treating you differently because you are different. Think about it…" Stephanie said with sincerity and a genuineness that left Jeremy thinking.

"I guess that I have not thought of it that way. And you are right… what I saw in Iraq changed me…the death and destruction that I saw was something I am glad that I will never see again. But I am treated different because I am different… I am blind, and my knee will not cooperate with what my body wants it to do. Yeah, I agree that I am not the same person as I was before I left… but I feel like I am my disability. Am I making sense?" Jeremy was still trying to find himself, and he thought that others defined him as what he appeared to be on the outside.

"Actually, Jeremy you are making perfect sense… and in some ways I felt the same way. But here is what I see is really happening… others are not defining you as the 'blind' guy, you are defining yourself as the 'blind guy'. Frankly you are one not giving yourself enough credit, two you are not giving the people in your life enough credit either, and finally you have not had enough experience with yourself with a disability. As I keep telling you… cut yourself some slack… you did not grow up in a day, and it will take time for you not to define yourself as the 'blind guy', as you are letting that consume your identity. And the people in your life are allowing you to make the needed mistakes. Your mom and dad are great; as they have allowed you to make the choices of what you want with your life, example: go to college. I can tell you with some experience… having a disability no matter what it is SUCKS!! But you do not have to let it consume you." Stephanie lectured, understanding where Jeremy was coming from, because she had been in a similar place almost two years ago.

"Ok… how do I get past that?" Jeremy asked, confident that Stephanie had an answer.

"Honestly, I do not know… I can tell you that I am still working through that. The difference is that you have a support system with your family, that I did not have nor will I. Allow yourself the time and be patient with yourself. Frankly, take the time that you need to find yourself! That is the only way that I know to get rid of that feeling." Stephanie commented hoping that Jeremy was feeling a bit better.

"Ok.., I guess" Jeremy replied.

"I wish I could change your feelings for you… but I cannot. But unfortunately you are going to have to make the changes. Now with that said, your mother is probably wondering where we are." Stephanie commented, knowing that she had given Jeremy a lot to think about.

Stephanie and Jeremy continued talking about it concerns in the car. He was starting to understand what Stephanie was saying; the problem is that he is very impatient. He wanted to get on with his life, but his thoughts were; how do you get on with your life, when you cannot see what is in front of you, or at least that was what Jeremy was thinking. He realized that he was being melodramic, and Stephanie was right… this was all up to him. He did feel like the 'blind guy', but he was the person who was making him feel that way.


	31. Emotions

Chapter 31—

A/N: I know that many of you are not sure where this story is going, and no I do not have any intentions of finishing it any time soon. However, I need to start bringing some of the other Army Wives back into this story… i.e. Roland. So please do not get upset at this chapter! I do have plans for this story, but it is going to take a couple of chapters to get this story line out. Please review and make comments.

As Stephanie and Jeremy walked through the door, Denise greeted them.

"I thought you two would never get here! What took you two so long?" Denise was curious as to what took Jeremy and Stephanie so long to get back to the house. Denise had the understanding that they were friends, but she thought that their friendship might blossom into something special. However, Denise realized that this was the wrong time in Jeremy's life to develop a serious relationship with anyone.

"Well… someone was having a mid-life crisis here…" Stephanie said jabbing Jeremy with her elbow into his rib.

"STEPHANIE!" Jeremy said, hoping that she would not tell his mother what their conversation had been about. He did not want to have to explain what he was thinking or feeling to his mother; as h did not think that she would understand.

"I am just kidding… Jeremy and I started talking about… my Dad, and we lost track of time… sorry." Stephanie said trying to avoid talking about Jeremy's feelings. She realized that after she said that, it was the wrong thing to say. Stephanie had agreed when she first met Jeremy that almost anything that was said between the two of them would be confidential, but that was before they had become friends.

"Ok… So how is your Dad doing?" Denise asked, getting the point that she needed to change the subject. She was sure that Stephanie would tell her later what the conversation between her and Jeremy was really about.

"When I talked to Dad last night, he said that the divorce was finalized, and he was officially a bachelor, again… but he was not sure what that meant. He had mentioned that Mom was doing well. Which at this point in time, I really do not care about Mom. Dad did not give any details as to how they separated the assets. He is talking about taking a vacation, and he asked me to go with him. He said that he wants to go on a cruise, and maybe take Sarah, Alan and me with him." Stephanie said with some excitement, as it had been awhile since she had been on a real vacation.

"That sounds like fun… did he say where he wanted to go?" Denise was happy for Stephanie as it would do her some good to have some time with her father.

"I do not know… it is just something that he is talking about." Stephanie said. She looked around, and she wondered where Jeremy had gone.

"Where's Jeremy?" Stephanie continued.

"I think he went upstairs. Sometimes, especially, lately he likes to spend some time alone. I have been trying to give him some space, as I get the feeling that he is a little overwhelmed." Denise said not being concerned that Jeremy had retreated to his room.

"Yeah… I think you are right! So what are we having for dinner?" Stephanie said trying not to divulge too much of Jeremy's and her conversation.

"Well… I did not think that Jeremy really wanted to cook… and I did not think that you would like macaroni and cheese, as that is Jeremy's specialty. I ordered Chinese, from Pong's Garden." Denise said.

"That sounds very good… thanks for inviting me over this evening… I think that I needed a break from studying." Stephanie sighed.

"You are welcome… you know that you are always welcomed here, you do not have to have an invitation." Denise said. She liked having Stephanie around; as much as she loved Frank and Jeremy, sometimes that much testosterone mixed with Army was a bit much, even for a lifetime Army Wife.

"Thank you. I will remember that." Stephanie said.

Jeremy was up in his room. He was attempting to read a book in Braille, but he was not comprehending it,,, his mind was somewhere else. He sat at his desk, and wondered what life would be like if he was not here. Everyone thought he was doing fine, his mood was stable, and his knee was getting better (perhaps not as fast as he would like.). He could deal with his knee being a problem, he could deal with the headaches he had been having, but he hated not being able to see anything. He hated that he had to use the cane to get around, he hated having to count steps when he was going somewhere, he hated the fact that someone had to guide him, and he hated that everything had to be put in the same place every time. Finally, he hated that no one seemed to understand him, with the possible exception of Stephanie. She understood what it was like to lose the ability to do something… but she could at least function, he did not feel like he was functioning. He had dreams of going to college, but what would he do? He was struggling with uncertainty, and he was very depressed. He had tried to confide in Stephanie, but he could not articulate the depression he was feeling. He felt very alone, especially with his father gone. Frank had only been gone a few hours, but Jeremy missed his Dad. It had taken a great deal of effort for both Jeremy and Frank; but Frank had turned into more than a Dad, but a fellow soldier.

Jeremy could talk to his Dad about anything, especially what he saw in Iraq. Jeremy had never expected to be witness to the destruction and the fear that he experienced. He could not to anyone but his Dad about it. His mom would not understand; and Stephanie had her own emotional wounds from her experiences in Afghanistan. She rarely spoke of her tour, and when she did it was more about the wounded soldiers, or even her own injury. Also, Stephanie had been a medic of sorts, so she was part of the clean up team of the battles on the ground. Granted her injuries had been caused by ground fire, but that too was different in Jeremy's mind.

Jeremy heard the doorbell ring, and he assumed it was the take out guy. Jeremy was not sure as to where is Mom had ordered from, but he was confident that it was not pizza. He heard Denise yell upstairs to Jeremy that dinner was there. He replied that he would be down in a minute. He took a deep breath, and tried to put a smile on his face, as that is what he thought Stephanie and Denise wanted to see: A happy Jeremy.

He slowly walked down the steps, and walked into the kitchen, where he smelled Chinese food. He and his Dad were not big fans of Chinese food, but they could always find something to eat.

"Smells like Chinese." Jeremy said.

"It is… it looks like we have a bit of everything: Moo Shoo Pork, Fried Rice, Egg Rolls, Mongolian Beef, Egg Foo Young and something else…I am not sure as to what it is." Stephanie said.

"Well… that is Beef and Mushrooms." Denise replied.

Stephanie took a plate and filled it with a little of every entrée. Jeremy just sat there thinking: I hate this, I do not even like most of this stuff and I cannot even see what I am eating. As all of these thoughts were going through his head the phone rang. Denise answered it,

"Hello, Sherwood residence." Denise answered.

"Claudia Joy, how are you?" Denise had not spoken to Claudia Joy in a couple of days.

"Oh… tonight… I do not know, as Stephanie and Jeremy are here… and we were planning on having dinner, and movie… oh, um… let me see what I can do" Denise said. Neither Jeremy nor Stephanie could figure out what Denise was talking about.

"Ok, I will talk to you later." Denise said hanging up the phone.

"Mom, what was that all about?" Jeremy asked curiously.

"That was Claudia Joy, asking if I would meet her, Roxy, Pamela, and Roland at the Hump Bar this evening." Denise said calmly.

"Why don't you go? Actually you and Stephanie can go!" Jeremy suggested.

"I do not know… I was going to help Stephanie study for the exams, and I do not really want to leave you alone." Denise said, seeing Jeremy's demeanor change and not for the good either.

"Denise, you should go… have fun. Jeremy and I can stay here and entertain ourselves." Stephanie said trying to smooth over the eruption that could happen in just a few seconds. Then all of a sudden Jeremy took a deep breath and said:

"Look, I do not need a babysitter. I am more than capable to take care of myself, please both of you go, and have a good time. Besides, I really do not feel like being a party to a night of chick flicks. So please go… I can take care of myself." Jeremy said really wanting to get rid of Stephanie and his mother for the evening.

"I would feel better if you came with us." Stephanie said.

"Besides there are other nights that we can go out." Denise replied.

"Stephanie, I am not 21, and I have some reading that I would like to do. Besides I have both of your cell phone numbers if I need anything… PLEASE GO!" Jeremy was serious. He really wanted some time to himself.

"If you are sure… that you are going to be ok without us…" Stephanie and Denise said in unison.

"YES… GO!!" Jeremy was insistent.

"If you are sure." Stephanie reiterated.

"YES… GO HAVE A GOOD TIME." Jeremy could not wait to get rid of both of them for a few hours. It had not been alone in the house at all since he had been home from the hospital. He needed some time to execute his plan, and he did not want anyone to be around when he did it.

The girls finished dinner and left to go to the Hump Bar. Jeremy went upstairs to his room. He opened his top desk drawer, and in the back corner was a bottle of pills. They were muscle relaxants that Dr. Bartley had prescribed for his knee. There were about twenty pills in the bottle, he dumped the pills on his desk and counted them.


	32. A Mothers Instinct

Chapter 32—

A/N: Again, please be patient. It is going to take a couple of chapters for me to get this story line out. Please read and review.

_The girls finished dinner and left to go to the Hump Bar. Jeremy went upstairs to his room. He opened his top desk drawer, and in the back corner was a bottle of pills. They were muscle relaxants that Dr. Bartley had prescribed for his knee. There were about twenty pills in the bottle, he dumped the pills on his desk and counted them._

Jeremy counted the pills individually… one, two, three, four, and five… and when got to twenty, he sat down and counted the pills one more time, because he was going to do this, he wanted to take all the pills. He wondered how long it would take for the pills to take effect. He had been planning this for the past couple of days, it just could not have worked out better than when Mrs. Holden called an invited Denise for drinks. He was happy that Stephanie went with her. Jeremy counted the muscle relaxants one more time, and there were exactly twenty, unfortunately his knee had been hurting a lot in the past couple of days so he had taken a couple of the pills, so there were not as many has he would have liked. Then he picked up the pills and took each pill individually. He waited until each pillow was swallowed before he took the next one, and after the fifth pill he clenched the other fifteen pills in his hand and stumbled over to the bed, and started to take the next pill. Jeremy followed the same process: he would take one, and swallow it, and then take another, and swallow, and then another and swallow, until they were all gone into his system. Jeremy lay down on the bed.

Meanwhile everyone had assembled at the Hump Bar. It was there 'tribal meeting', and tonight they all got to meet the infamous Stephanie. Stephanie was enamored by the five people that were sitting at the table with her. First she met Roland, a renowned psychiatrist who worked at the hospital. As she listened to him speak she was in awe of how well he articulated. Then she met Claudia Joy. Claudia Joy was not what she had expected of a Colonel's wife, she was outspoken, witty, and absolutely gorgeous. Then she met Roxy, the Army Wife and the waitress, and Stephanie was surprised at how classy and well spoken Roxy was. Finally she met Pamela. However, Stephanie already felt like she knew Pamela, at least she knew her from Pamela's radio show on post.

"So Stephanie, Denise tells us that you are planning to go to Medical School. Do you have a specialty that you are thinking about or are you going to go for general medicine and wait to see which specialty inspires you?" Roland asked.

"Well, originally I was going to wait to see what inspiration came, but now after working with some of the patients with the Institute I was thinking psychiatry." Stephanie said. This was the truth; she was not trying to impress Roland. Psychiatry was what she was planning to study.

"Interesting… do you have specific area you would like to study?" Roland was curious, because most of the time when someone wants to attend medical school psychiatry was not top on people's list of specialties.

"I was thinking about specializing in patience's who suffer life changing injuries." Stephanie figured she could use some of her life experiences.

"Good choice, the military is always in need." Roland continued.

"But we will have to see, I am still working on studying for the MCAT's." Stephanie admitted.

"Oh, do not worry about those… and if you need any help studying please let me know." Roland volunteered.

"Thank you, Dr. Burton. Denise has been very helpful already." Stephanie smiled.

"You are welcomed, and I know Denise will be very helpful. But here in this bar I am Roland, not Dr. Burton." Roland smiled.

"Yes, Sir." Stephanie agreed.

"So anyway… who call this meeting of the tribe? And why?" Pamela asked looking at her watch. She loved spending time in the tribal meetings however she only had her babysitter for another hour.

"Well, I did… I thought since Denise's man was deployed this afternoon… that a tribal meeting would be appropriate." Roxy said.

"I appreciate the gesture, but after almost twenty years of being married to the Army… I mean being married to an Army man, deploying is never easy, but I have seen it too many times." Denise said kind of stumbling over her words. Then all of a sudden Denise got a strange feeling wash over her, something was wrong… but she did not know what.

"Ladies and Roland… I need to make a phone call. She got up from the table and stepped outside. She dialed Jeremy's cell phone number and it went to voicemail. Then she tried dialing her home phone, and it too went to voicemail. This was odd, Jeremy was very good at answering his phone, and he promised that he would leave it on while she and Stephanie were out. She walked back to the table.

"Denise, what is wrong?" Pamela asked seeing the look on Denise's face.

"Jeremy is not answering his cell phone or the home phone… I am little concerned." Denise said.

"Do you want to go home?" Stephanie asked.

"No, I think that I am being over protective." Denise replied.

Every one continued talking and Denise just sat there, getting more and more concerned and finally… Stephanie said,

"It was nice meeting you all… and thanks for a nice evening, but I think that Denise should go home." Stephanie said getting Denise's attention.

Everyone said their good nights and Stephanie and Denise when back to the house. Denise quickly ran into the house, as Stephanie was getting her wheelchair out of the car. Denise ran through out the house calling Jeremy's name. She then walked into Jeremy's room. There was a sense of relief… she saw that Jeremy was sleeping and then she saw the empty pill bottle on the desk.

"Oh my God, Jeremy what have you done?" Denise said rushing over to Jeremy to check his pulse and his respiration. His pulse was not even close to being strong, and his respiration was slow. She started to give Jeremy breath into his mouth. She though that she heard Stephanie come in.

"Stephanie call 911…." Denise yelled to Stephanie.

"Why?" Stephanie yelled back.

"Stephanie just call 911, Jeremy took a lot of pills." Stephanie thought, 'Oh my God, Jeremy what have you done?' She quickly dialed 911. After explaining to the dispatcher what the issue was, the dispatcher alerted the paramedics. Unfortunately Stephanie was a paramedic but she could not get upstairs to help Denise. All she could do was sit there waiting for the paramedics. The paramedics showed up within 5 minutes of the call. Stephanie pointed the paramedics up the stairs. They found Denise doing CPR on Jeremy. They pushed her out of the way. The next thing that Denise knew Jeremy was on a stretcher heading downstairs to the ambulance. Denise rode in the ambulance with the paramedics and Jeremy. Stephanie followed in her car.

All Denise could think about was: Jeremy why did you try to kill yourself? She did know whether to be mad or angry… but she was confused. Jeremy had not shown the obvious signs of depression. Denise was confused.

Stephanie drove to the hospital. She just kept thinking about the conversation that she and Jeremy had had earlier in the day. She never realized that he was as depressed as he was; she just thought that he was overwhelmed. Furthermore, she wondered what she could have said differently that would not have caused him to do this. 'Why Jeremy? Why?' Stephanie thought.

The paramedics got to the hospital, and rushed Jeremy into emergency room. The ER doctor, Dr. Kinsley acted quickly, and eventually got Jeremy stabilized. After Jeremy was stabilized, the doctor came and spoke to Denise and Stephanie. Dr. Kinsley had worked with Denise on her ER rotation.

"Mrs. Sherwood, Denise… we have stabilized your son. However, he is unconscious. I am not sure as to how much of the drug was metabolized in your son's system. I will not know until we run some more tests. Again he stabilized, he is being moved to the psych ward, and I have ordered suicide watch for him. I believe that this was not an accidental overdose. Again, I am sorry, but I do not know what shape he is going to be in when he wakes up. But I do know that he is going to need some extensive therapy. Do you have any questions?" Dr. Kinsley asked.

"No I do not think so… just questions that I need to ask Jeremy." Denise said holding back the tears.

"Denise if you questions please let me know." Dr. Kingsley said, with a pat on Denise's arm.

Denise collapsed in to the chair next to Stephanie. Stephanie reached over and hugged Denise, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be ok.


	33. The 6th Floor

Chapter 33—

A/N: Your reviews are always greatly appreciated. Please keep them coming.

_Denise collapsed in to the chair next to Stephanie. Stephanie reached over and hugged Denise, trying to reassure her that everything was going to be ok._

But Stephanie was not sure if everything was going to be ok, in fact she was scared, she was scared for Denise, she was scared that Denise was going to lose her only son. Even though Jeremy was stabilized, no one knew what the drugs had done to Jeremy's body. He could be fine with time, or there could be lasting medical issues. Stephanie wished that Frank was here to support Denise. She had noticed that Frank had a calming effect on Denise; even though Denise was a very strong woman, but this was going to be very hard on Denise.

Stephanie and Denise walked slowly to the elevators to the sixth floor, where the psychiatric floor is; but standing and waiting by the elevator was Roland. Roland had his coat draped over his arm. Denise stopped and looked at him.

"Roland, what are you doing here?" Denise asked wondering what made him come back to the hospital.

"I got called that a young soldier tried to commit suicide. And my staff calls me when it could be a PTSD patient." Roland said quietly.

"Oh." Denise replied thinking that some other family was going through this tonight, what were the odds, not realizing that Roland had been called in for Jeremy's case.

"I could ask the same thing of you and Stephanie… what are you two doing here? Is this part of the studying process?" Roland asked.

"No… um… Jeremy was admitted this evening… and we are going to the sixth floor." Stephanie said finding it very hard to admit that Jeremy had tried to kill himself.

The look on Roland's face was one of horror, as he comprehended that he was called in on Jeremy's case. He thought that Jeremy was doing well physically and emotionally. However, there were many times when family and friends did not even know of the deep depression that the patient was in. The elevator door opened, and they all got in. Roland hit the button for the sixth floor. The elevator ride was silent. Roland was trying to formulate a treatment plan with the little knowledge that he had. Denise was in shock, and so was Stephanie. Roland had been in psychiatry field for many years, and in that time he had learned that not only do you treat the patient but you also treat the family. He had known Denise for years, but he was pretty confident that this was not going to be an easy case. The three of them walked to the nurse's station and asked where Jeremy's room was; it was at the end of the hall. The room itself was a small hospital room, but there were some added security features. The door to the room had the ability to be locked for the safety of the patient inside and other patients on the wing. Unfortunately when some one tries to commit suicide there is an added need for security. There is often a propensity for psychiatric patients to want to further hurt themselves and others around them, so the additional security was needed.

When the group arrived in Jeremy's room a nurse was there monitoring his vitals. There was another nurse securing Jeremy's arms to the sides of the bed. This infuriated Denise and Stephanie.

"What are you doing? He does not need those!!!" Denise yelled.

"Ma'am… I am sorry… but it is standard procedure when a suicide patient is admitted. The ER doctor put a 72-hour suicide watch on this patient. Please this is standard procedure." The nurse said without looking up. When she did she saw Roland.

"Dr. Burton, I am sorry I did not see you were here as well. Do wish to change the order of the suicide watch for this patient?" The nurse asked. Denise gave him a pleading look to please remove the restraints. But Roland could not and would not change the order. It was not that he did not want to, but the fact was that Jeremy was in danger of hurting himself.

"No, please leave the restraints on. We will take a wait and see approach to this… as the patient has yet to wake up, and if h does I do not want to put anyone in jeopardy including the patient." Roland replied trying to reassure Denise that these were necessary precautions.

"Dr. Burton, is there anything that you want changed?" The nurse checking the vitals said.

"I do not know yet, as I have not been fully briefed about this case." Roland continued. At this moment, it was no longer Roland it was Dr. Burton.

"Denise and Stephanie, why don't we let the nurses finish getting Jeremy settled? That will give me enough time to review his chart, and we can see where we progress from there." Roland said taking the chart and leaving the room. He headed to his office which was down the hall and to the left. Denise had been to his office many times before. It was nothing special; it had a large wooden desk, and bookcases with lots of medical books. Roland sat down behind the desk, and quickly read through the chart.

"Denise, were you aware that Jeremy was taking muscle relaxants?" Roland asked without looking up from the file. He wanted to know all the information that was not in Jeremy's medical file. Because in all his years of experience, Roland had learned that the family and friends of the patient can give great insight as to why the patient had attempted to commit suicide, and also the families were also able to give insight as to how to help the patient to recover.

"Yes, I was aware that Jeremy took muscle relaxants. In fact, Dr. Bartley prescribed them before Jeremy left the hospital over six weeks ago, and I think that was the same bottle." Denise answered.

"Denise and Stephanie, I am going to ask you both a lot of questions. These questions will be about Jeremy's life, his feelings, his habits, his conversations, his relationships, everything. I want to put this out there: NO ONE IN THIS ROOM IS TO BLAME FOR JEREMY TO TAKE THIS CHOICE! Got it!!" Again Roland had been in practice long enough to know that when a family member tries to commit suicide, the family and friend usually felt somewhat at fault.

"OK" Stephanie and Denise said in unison, as they looked at each other with surprise.

"Now that we have that said… lets get started." Roland said taking a pen and jotting some notes down.

"Has Jeremy been experiencing any mood changes?" Roland wanted to start with the basics.

"No, not really. Honestly he has not had any mood swings since before the seizure four months ago." Denise was thinking pretty hard about anything that she could have missed.

The questioned continued for about an hour, and Roland was starting to get a clear picture of who Jeremy was. From his conversation with Stephanie and Denise, Jeremy struggled with anger issues. The anger that he used to exhibit with this mother, was now turned inward, and that was the most dangerous kind.


	34. Restraints

Chapter 34—

A/N: Thank you to all for your reviews. I am enjoying keeping everyone guessing. I hope that you all like the coming chapters, as they are about to get more interesting. Thanks.

Over the next few days very little progress was made; as Jeremy had few moments of consciousness. It had been discovered that much of the overdose had been metabolized, meaning that there had been significant damage done to Jeremy's internal organs, like his liver. The doctors were confident that Jeremy would recover and the internal organs would function, but they were not sure of what Jeremy's mental state would be. Since Jeremy was unconscious, Roland had little opportunity to talk to Jeremy; and talking would be the only hope to help Jeremy in the mental state that he was in.

When Jeremy was conscious, he almost did not know it. He would open his eyes, but he saw the same thing when they were closed: darkness. It was surreal to Jeremy, it was dark, and with a blink it was still dark. He was not fully aware of the surroundings, and it was difficult for him to talk as there were tubes going down his throat. He struggled against the wrist restraints that kept him confided to the bed. Jeremy would struggle to free himself, but would eventually tire himself back to sleep.

Denise spent as much time in his room as possible, but Roland urged Denise to leave the room frequently. Roland's fear was that Denise was too wrapped up in Jeremy's personal care that it made it difficult for the nurses to care for Jeremy. Denise had learned the hard way not to remove the restraints around Jeremy's wrists; as when she did Jeremy fought with her physically and almost hit her. Roland had confirmed that in his expert opinion that this was an involuntary movement, not any deliberate actions, however Roland had extended the order to keep Jeremy restrained, and warned Denise not to release him, because of the posed threat to her and the staff. On a personal note, Roland was fully aware of the heartache that Denise was experiencing, but his first concern was Jeremy, the patient. Roland had spent a lot of time over the past few days talking with and consoling Denise. Denise was very appreciative of Roland's professionalism and his friendship. Unfortunately for Denise, no one seemed to be able to get a hold of Frank, in Iraq.

Colonel Michael Holden had made every effort to communicate with Frank or for that matter any officer in the unit, but communications were down. Frankly, Michael wanted Frank to hear the news about Jeremy directly from him, not from another perhaps subordinate officer. Colonel Holden was fully willing to order Frank home, but he wanted to give the news to Frank personally.

Then there was Stephanie. She was at a lost of what to do; as she tried to be as supportive as she could to Denise, to which Denise appreciated. However, Stephanie sensed that Denise was upset that she had not told anyone of Jeremy's feelings of being over whelmed. As Stephanie explained it was not that she was hiding anything from Denise, it was just a matter of two friends talking, and Stephanie did not think anymore of it at the time. Denise's unhappiness did not stem from Stephanie's lack of communication; it was systemic that hindsight was 20/20.

After about a week of Jeremy being unconscious, and rarely lucid, he finally awoke from his slumber. As he awoke, his eyes opened and he saw a flash, or was it his imagination? He shut his eyes again, but nothing, so it was his imagination. He tried to rub his face, but his wrists were bound to the sides of the bed. He questioned as to why? But then the memories came flooding back to him. He remembered counting the pills… one, two, three, four, five, and etc. Jeremy recalled swallowing them, one by one; he recalled lying on the bed, and falling into sleep. Sleep that he was forced to wake up from… why did his mother have to come home early from the Hump Bar, Jeremy questioned. He had wanted to die, put him out of his self imposed misery; but now there was no one that would let him die, he was going to have to live through being blind, and his gimpy knee. He still did not want to leave through that kind of life, but again there was not going to be anyone that would allow that to happen. So he had some choices to make… the first choice was playing nice so that he could get rid of the restraints, and the feeding tube and the catheter, that had been keeping him alive for the last week or so.

Jeremy was aware that if he died that would change his mother, father, Stephanie, and everyone else for the rest of their lives. He had already hurt his mother emotionally, and for that he did regret. But how was he supposed to live being blind? What future did he have? How would he deal with never walking without a limp again? Jeremy had learned some of the basics for living blind, but they were just that the basics. He was tired of hearing Stephanie saying, 'cut yourself some slack and give your self time.' Unfortunately, it was easy for her to say… she could still have the future that she had planned; granted it would be from a sitting position, but she could still be a doctor. What could he be? These were all questions that Jeremy wanted to answer, but so far these were the questions that haunted his mind, and that is why that he had tried to commit suicide. He just did not literally see a future for himself.

All of a sudden he heard foot steps. It was not his mother, it certainly was not Stephanie, and it did not sound like a nurse with a pair of rubber soled tennis shoes. The footsteps were heavy, but not like steps that came from a pair of combat boots, there was a heel to them.

Roland walked into the room paging through Jeremy's chart, when he saw that Jeremy's eyes were opened. Jeremy quickly closed them, hoping that who ever in was in the room would not notice. Unfortunately, Roland did notice.

"Jeremy, are you awake? I know that you cannot talk right now… so here is the deal, blink once for yes, and twice for no." Roland said. Jeremy tried not to play along, but he sensed that the doctor was not in the mood to play games, especially with him, so he blinked once.

"Good, I will get someone in here to take the tube out of your mouth, and we can start talking. As you have a lot of explaining and talking to do." Roland was generally not this hard on suicide patients, but he had what Jeremy had put his friend Denise through over the past week.

Roland left the room. Jeremy thought, great I am going to have to admit my feelings, and I am sure that I am going to get a lecture, and a scolding. Also, he continued to think that this was going to be very unproductive, because it was going to be a lot of clichés; of 'you can do it, if you put your mind to it', or 'give it time' or better yet, 'I know that you have long road ahead of you, but you will be fine.' He had already heard all of that many times before.


	35. Office Visit

Chapter 35—

A/N: Your reviews are appreciated. I apologize for the extended length of time it has taken me to complete this chapter. Please read and enjoy. This will be a short chapter… but there will be more chapters to come, but it will take awhile.

Jeremy eventually won the battle over the restraints and the tubes; however, everything he did had to be supervised by someone. He spent an extensive amount of time in some sort of therapy. Initially, Jeremy had private sessions with Roland, group therapy, family therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy. The medical personnel discussed that it would be a good idea to keep Jeremy busy. Actually much of the private sessions with Roland were proving to be helpful.

Through the counseling sessions with Roland, Jeremy learned what caused his depression that led to the attempt on his own life. It more than feeling over whelmed, it was more than struggling with a disability and it was of a fear of not living up to the expectations. Those expectations were often self imposed by Jeremy. He hated the fact that he would never see again. He came to terms with his knee (to which he often used as an excuse.), but he could not see to come to terms with the darkness. He was scared by the infinite darkness that he always saw. Jeremy was scared more than the terminal darkness he was scared of living with no vision; was scared of the uncertainty and who he was becoming.

Growing up, Jeremy was taught to take care of himself, and not asking for help. That was the expectation. Jeremy did not feel that he could live up to the expectation of taking himself without asking for help, yet he was scared of talking about his fears with his mom and dad. It was not that he did not think that they cared, but it was a matter of not living up to perceived expectations. He had started to trust Stephanie; but she was not the easiest person to talk to. Stephanie meant well, but her take tough no prisoner attitude was sometimes difficult to take. Jeremy felt very alone in the unusual darkness that he lived in.

Jeremy sat on the couch in Roland's office, feeling the doctor eyes on him. Roland had been tough but gentle when dealing with Jeremy's therapy sessions. Roland had been sensitive to Jeremy's to his mood swings but he was tough in the fact that Roland could quickly cut through Jeremy's political correctness, or rather Jeremy's crap.

"So Jeremy, have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?" Roland asked opening the conversation. During yesterday's session they had talked about life strategies, and what Jeremy wanted to do with the rest of his life. Roland was fully aware that this was a tedious but necessary discussion in order to help Jeremy to continue to adjust to life with a disability. Furthermore, patients that often have things to look forward to recover faster than those who did not; whether it is from an injury, severe depression or both.

"Yes and no. I am still not sure what I am supposed to do." Jeremy admitted still not willing to give Roland a straight answer.

"Ok, Jeremy at some point you are going to have to make decisions for yourself. The sooner you start making decisions about what you want the sooner you will feel more comfortable with yourself." Roland pointed out.

"But look at the decisions I have already made, and look at where they got me!" Jeremy said pointing to his eyes and waving his hands around the office.

"Interesting point… but not all the decisions that you will make in life will have such…um severe consequences." Roland said.

"What would you do in my situation?" Jeremy asked probing.

"Well I am not in your situation. But what I would do is take the opportunities at my disposal and make the decisions from there." Roland did not want to make an inadvertent decision for Jeremy regarding going to college, or taking some time and continuing to develop the needed skills to be successful. Roland's feeling was that it was too soon after everything that Jeremy had been through medically to go to college. In Roland's mind, Jeremy's self esteem did not need another blow, and if there was a struggle with the academics it could put him right back into his self loathing state. But this was going to be Jeremy's decision. A lot had changed in Jeremy since he left the hospital and went home permanently. Jeremy had allowed the uncertainty to erode his self-esteem to the point where depression and self loathing had taken over.

"Dr. Burton, I want to go to school, but I do not feel it is the right time yet. I need some time to figure out who and what I am." Jeremy stated. Roland was pleased that Jeremy was able to verbalize what his decision was.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36—Moving on

A/N: I know that it has been a long time since I have updated this story, and for that I apologize. I have been extremely busy, coupled with writers block has not helped. As always your reviews are welcomed and appreciated. SO here goes….

Jeremy knew that he had a lot of decisions to make, and yet he still felt like he was in a holding pattern; a holding pattern of his own creation. It had been six months since he had tried to commit suicide, and was still trying to overcome many of his feelings of awkwardness and self confidence issues. However, he had learned to take it one day at a time. He had been able to repair the hurt feelings that he had caused his mother and Stephanie.

In six months, he had started to cope with the fact that he would never see again, nor would he ever walk without a significant limp. His knee would never be any better than it was at the moment. Dr. Bartley and Steve, the physical therapist thought that after all that Jeremy's knee had been through (the initial injury, the numerous surgeries, the infections, and everything else), that Jeremy was luck to walk with the limp.

The upside was that Jeremy was no longer in the period of self hatred and self destruction; he felt that he could live a successful life even without his vision, and his ability to walk normally. He was now twenty one, and he had changed a lot in the year and half since he enlisted in the Army. A year and half ago, Jeremy was a hostile kid that thought he was an adult, but did not understand that he was still a kid, that had a lot of growing up to do. Then he was a kid that though the world would give him everything that he needed, without much effort. He had grown up to realize, that world would not give him anything that he did not work for; he knew that he was lucky that he had a group of people who supported and loved him, despite his abilities and disabilities. And yet six months ago, he almost let that slip way when he tried to commit suicide. He regretted what he did, but his mother and Stephanie still supported him. Jeremy had grown up.

Frank was still in Iraq, which was not easy for him, as he wanted to be home with his family, but the mission that he was commanding did not allow for that, even though General Holden had made the efforts to get him home. He had tried to imagine was his wife and son had gone through, and again he was not there for them.

"Good morning, Jeremy," Denise said as Jeremy walked into the kitchen.

"Morning, Mom." Jeremy in his usual morning grogginess.

"You look tired, did you not sleep well last night?" Denise asked concerned that the pain in Jeremy's had kept him up. It had been decided that Jeremy was no longer allowed to a prescription for pain killers. It had been Jeremy's decision after his attempted suicide to not have the prescription. It was often very tough on Jeremy when the pain in his knee got so bad that it affected his sleep, but it was a conscious choice that he thought that he had to make.

"No, I did not sleep well last night." Jeremy yawned. Jeremy was well aware that the prescription painkillers would help his situation, but he did not want to take the meds for fear that he might in some weak moment try to over dose again. Denise respected his decision, but was still concerned that the pain was going to affect Jeremy.

Denise had seen many patients that lived with perpetual pain. And that pain often eroded the patients' demeanor and personality to the point of depression and despair. The memory of walking into Jeremy's room six months ago, to see him almost die was still an extremely vivid memory. Depression was a very real thing, and she did not want to see Jeremy suffer any more than he had to with the despair and loneliness.

"Why? Did you not sleep well?" Denise questioned knowing full well the answer, but she was hoping that they could revisit the conversation about the meds.

"Well, Stephanie and I talked on the phone for awhile, and she was upset, because her mother called her last night, out of the blue, and said that she wanted to see Stephanie again. And you know how well that would go. And I had a lot on my mind, I was thinking about Dad. Also, I was thinking about taking on a mentoring type roll with other wounded soldiers, kind of like a poster child of what not to do. And I know you are waiting for this answer… my knee hurt." Jeremy said with a sigh. He had been expecting the conversation that was about to transpire.

"WOW… poor Stephanie, when is her mother coming to visit?" Denise asked worrying about Stephanie.

"Stephanie was not sure. Her mom called and said that she wanted to talk, and she wanted to know what would work within Steph's schedule." Jeremy continued happy that he thought might have dodged the dreaded conversation.

"Tell me more about the mentoring project? I did not know that you were even thinking about anything like that?" Denise was very surprised at Jeremy's willingness to become a part of anything like that.

"It is something that Stephanie mentioned to me in passing about couple of weeks ago. At the time I blew her off. But she mentioned again last night and gave me more of the details. I am not entirely sure that I am capable of being the poster child of how not to re-act to a life changing injury. But I think I need to do something to… um…" Jeremy was not sure as to how to finish.

"Perhaps… you mean… give back?" Denise said putting words in Jeremy's mouth.

"Yeah… I guess." Jeremy replied.

"Well I am proud of you, and your Dad would be too." Denise said with a smile.

"I have not fully committed to the program. I wish Dad was here." Jeremy admitted.

"Me too. I have not heard from him in almost a week, I hope that he is ok." Denise said quietly. Jeremy carefully walked over to his mother and opened his arms to give her a hug. He often forgot how hard things were for his mother. She had been through a lot too, and he lost sight of that too.

Denise walked into to his embrace. She was amazed how grown up her son had become. The hug ended, and Denise just looked at her son, and started to say,


End file.
